NEWCASTLE'S Wise appointment gives them a Plan B when Keegan's toys leave the pram


WOODGATE won't be taken seriously as a centre half until he gets a hair cut


CITY should pay up or let Richards go to a club who want to be taken seriously

They are playing to full houses at St James' Park but the Wise appointment by the Newcastle board (and we haven't been able to say that too often) might just start one hell of a scrap.

• Read yesterday's Hatchet Man

Maybe he really is going there as Director of Football to try and stop Middlesbrough from taking all the best kids in the region.

More likely he is going there as a ready-made replacement for Kevin Keegan when the toys depart the pram.

Or maybe the Newcastle directors have seen two games under the control of the great entertainer that have resulted in two shots and no goals and they've realised they need a plan B.

Just in case their box office appointment is great for attendances, but not for results.

Football has moved on since Keegan was last in control, when Newcastle came under his magical spell and the club advanced by playing with ambition and flair.

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Plan B? Dennis Wise (right) would be nicely set to take the Newcastle hotseat if Keegan prematurely departs St James' Park

Since then, midfield bulldozers dominate the Premier League landscape, teams are playing five in midfield and a counter-attacking system which results in more away wins than home scores, and the rest need binoculars to find the Big Four.

Keegan wouldn't know that, seeing as it was three years since he watched a game.

This Wise move by Newcastle means they now have one of modern football's brightest brains on stand-by. Just in case.

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Jermaine Beckford has scored 16 goals for Leeds this season but was told he had to stay loyal to the club during the transfer window and wouldn't be allowed to move to a higher level.

Wonder what he's thinking now that Dennis Wise disappeared to the first offer?

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Here comes Joey Barton, back from rehab, and here's a prediction from Kevin Keegan.

"I think we'll see a different Joey Barton at the end of this."

Bet we won't. Instead of being given another chance, he should have been fired.

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Since Fergie became Manchester United manager they've won 1,646 points, compared to Liverpool's 1478.

1) That's why Liverpool can't win a title.

2) It's why Fergie doesn't get any grief from his bosses.

3)Whoever spent the time working out that stat needs to get out more.

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Message to Jonathan Woodgate: Get your hair cut, lad.

When did you last see a proper centre half looking like he's just left the squat before taking his place in a back four?

Think Jack Charlton, John Terry and Terry Butcher. Not Neil from the Young Ones.

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Middlesbrough supporters, have faith.

You now have David Wheater, another product of your outstanding production line, to play centre half instead of Woodgate.

Wheater looks like a young John Terry, puts his head on the ball at both ends of the pitch and won't be disappearing to the highest bidder.

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David Wheater (in red): impressive at both ends of the field for Middlesbrough

Here's another advantage. He spends more time in the team than on the treatment table.

Have faith in Steve Gibson and Gareth Southgate, they will prove to be a top-class double act.

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Micah Richards wants more than £50,000-a-week before agreeing to his new contract.

I make him right. The lad is a beast of a player, will be an England defender for many years and is testing Manchester City's ambition by holding out for a better pay rise.

Pay up, or let him go to a club who want to be taken seriously.

Look what happens when he's not playing. You get knocked out of the FA Cup by a couple of balloons.

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Micah Richards: worth every penny for Manchester City?

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Great picture from Chelsea's training ground of a player who ran at defenders, lured them into tackles, then skipped away, with his head up and with pace and menace.

It might have been lost in translation, but do you think that Diego Maradona might have had a word with Joe Cole about end product while he was there?

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Prediction: The next big star coming to the Premier League will be Brazilian striker Jo from CSKA Moscow, full name Joao Alves de Assis Silva. Wanted by Manchester City, he's the next Didier Drogba and, given Roman Abramovich's Russian connections, guess where he might end up next?

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THEY SAID: "It's frustrating, you don't catch every fish you put your rod out for. I've only got a small rod now with no bait and the tide is going out." -Kevin Keegan

THEY MEANT: "When the Seagulls follow the trawler..." Who knows what he meant!?