SCREEN BREAK: Give me the golf, no sleepers and a Brucie bonus

Take a bow (or go stand in the corner), Andrew Cotter.

Forsyth, still wearing his cap indoors like an ill-mannered American jock , had popped into the mobile broadcasting booth at Wentworth on the way from his Saturday morning game of golf to his palatial home on the estate.

Brucie bonus: ruce Forsyth plays a shot during the Pro-Am at the BMW Championship at The Wentworth Club

Prompted by Peter Alliss, the octogenarian hoofer began a story about how Sir Alan Sugar said to him 'you're hired'.

Apparently, Forsyth was employed to do a turn at the 40th wedding anniversary of The Apprentice's sorcerer and his wife, Ann.

American comedian Jackie Mason flew across the Atlantic for the gig. As the story dragged on a bit and somewhere in the background a golf tournament was unfolding, Cotter interrupted.

A putt needed to be showed. 'You're fired,' the commentator said too tentatively for maximum effect. That did it for poor Brucie. He lost his thread completely and admitted that he could not remember the identity of the surprise final act. 'Kylie Minogue?' Alliss suggested unhelpfully.

But it had gone and pretty soon so had Forsyth. Alliss later informed viewers that the bash had ended with a set from Sugar's fellow knight, Sir Elton John.

Still, the episode brightened up a pretty awful afternoon's golf. When the conditions are tricky, the scoring is high and the big names in the event have already departed, it is surely questionable wisdom for the director to keep selecting shots of spectators fast asleep.

If fans who have paid good money to attend can't stay awake, why on earth should the viewer in the comfort of the armchair?

There was a veritable rash on Saturday.

Fat men, busty women and couples romantically entwined, selected no doubt so that the aforementioned Alliss could say something witty, pithy and risque.

He has been doing it for years. Indeed, the sleeping spectator is something of a BBC trademark.

We used to see it in cricket and we still do in snooker.

One shot during coverage of the BMW PGA Championship showed a group lying scattered on the ground as if they had been mown down by the same people who did for Sonny Corleone.

Sky Sports would let sleeping galleries lie because a) everything has to be portrayed as thrilling and b) they could never hope to prise a funny comment out of their principal commentators.

But the BBC and Sky Sports have very different ideas about how to do golf. While Sky believe in wall-to-wall live action, the Beeb prefer an element of packaging.

Broadcasting an hourand- a-half of morning highlights in the afternoon, as they did last Thursday and Friday, does not work in the internet era when anyone interested will already know the scores.

Up-to-the-minute information is available from any number of websites, including their own. My ideal golf viewing would be the BBC commentators with the Sky Sports production team. With what's-his-chin dropping in for the occasional chat.