SO King Kev is going to make do with what he's got? Great news for Sunderland and Middlesbrough


JUST who are the best and worst buys of all time?


DERBY fans take a bow, you're brilliant - Wigan, Boro, Bolton and Fulham fans, you're rubbish

An email doing the rounds claims that this is the latest picture from Newcastle as Kevin Keegan greets Dennis Wise. Some people are just so cruel.

Anyhow, some of your comments yesterday were rude and abusive. And they were the ones we could print.

But any true Newcastle fan must be worried by Keegan's announcement that he won't be adding to that hopelessly inadequate squad before the close of the transfer window.

• Yesterday's Hatchet Man

• Where's Wisey - Day 2

Newcastle are just four points above Sunderland and play Middlesbrough at the weekend but Keegan has decided to stay with what he has.

I guess that's what happens when you don't watch a game for three years and can therefore have no knowledge of the market.

At least Harry Redknapp would have been flooding the place with talent, using his contacts and his worldwide knowledge of quality players.

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We all love a list. As the signing season draws to a close, here's my window wonders and window wasters, the top five best bargain buys and top five bad buys from any transfer window.

Let me know what you think.

Best buys

1.Nemanja Vidic (Spartak Moscow to Man Utd £7.2m, 2006)

2.David Bentley (Arsenal to Blackburn £1m, 2006)

3.Dean Ashton (Norwich to West Ham £7.2m, 2006)

4.Steve Sidwell (Arsenal to Reading £250,000, 2003)

5.Emmanuel Adebayor (Monaco to Arsenal £5m, 2006)

Worst buys

1. Nigel Quashie (West Brom to West Ham £1.5m, 2006)

2.Jean Alain Boumsong (Rangers to Newcastle £8m, 2005)

3.Eric Djemba Djemba (Man Utd to Aston Villa £1.3m, 2005)

4.Michael Ricketts (Bolton to Middlesbrough £2.5m, 2003)

5.Fernando Morientes (Monaco to Liverpool £6.3m, 2005)

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Since December 1st Chelsea have won six games 1-0. What happened to "the new Chelsea" and all the entertainment we were promised at the Bridge? Yawn ...

••••••

Derby may be dead, but last night 31,368 fans turned up to watch them draw with Manchester City.

Memo to supporters of Wigan, Fulham, Middlesbrough and Bolton: Now that's a proper Premier League crowd.

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Has there ever been a better Premier League player than the dazzling Cristiano Ronaldo? Alan Shearer was a great leader of the line and a proper centre forward, Eric Cantona was pure theatre, Dennis Bergkamp and Gianfranco Zola created magic and Ryan Giggs deserves a mention.

Thierry Henry is my favourite.

Give me your contenders, or just give up and accept the blindingly obvious.

••••••

Craig Gordon cost £9m and now Alan Hutton cost £9.5m. Either Scotland has the making of a terrific team, or someone is doing some great business off the back of inflated reputations.

••••••

Good idea to get Stuart Pearce into the England set-up. Just don't let him take the penalty training.

••••••

I was accused of being a Middlesbrough fan yesterday. Last week, I was supposed to be a Tottenham fan.

It's a close call; I'm not sure what is the most insulting.

••••••

Clare Tomlinson, the Spurs-supporting Sky Sports glamour-puss, might have a word with the team who produce the monthly magazine for Sky subscribers.

Their Carling Cup Final February edition, which dropped on my mat this week, has Cesc Fabregas on the front cover. An exclusive interview with Fabregas is headlined: My Plan for World Domination. Among the goodies inside, Liam Brady: Keeping the Beautiful Game Young — the secrets of Arsenal's continuing success. Wall to wall Gunners ... and not a Spurs picture in sight.

What was the score in that semi-final again?

••••••

Is this the only column that can start with the Krankies and end with Cheryl Cole?

It's our regular Thursday look at the WAGS. And for this week we have to choose the delightful Mrs Cole.

Oh Ashley, why would you cheat on your lady when she looks like this?

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Silly boy, but then we knew that already.