SOMBREROS off to Fabregas for San Siro supershow - only Jose can save Milan now


WHY a Tottenham-West Ham or Merseyside groundshare would be just the Italian job


AND Rio Ferdinand's up to old tricks as he negotiates a new Man Utd contract

It was no lucky victory. They monstered Milan and how long before Jose Mourinho turns up on the touchline for a team on their last legs and in need of fresh blood - and Didier Drogba?

• Yesterday's HATCHET MAN

Arsenal were sensational at the San Siro. Hatchet Man has been critical of them recently but you have to take off your sombrero to Cesc Fabregas who, after a quiet period of late, bossed Kaka in his own back yard.

No contest: Fabregas (right) drove Kaka gaga

Right down to the timing of the arrival of Theo Walcott (the token Englishman), whose pace ran Paolo Maldini a game closer to the exit door, Gunners boss Arsene Wenger got it all spot on.

Emmanuel Adebayor scored his first goal in the Champions League - the first of many - and, against all the odds, they are through to the last eight. Even William Gallas stopped sulking and started defending.

Now for United next in the last eight and a chance to avenge that 4-0 FA Cup hammering?

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Good reason to always play at home: Cheryl Cole

The latest edition of FHM has a very sexy picture of Mrs Ashley Cole perched on a desk wearing a very short skirt with the headline: "Would you cheat on this lady?"

The answer, of course, is No. Unless you happen to be stupid. Or very stupid. Or her husband.

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If Milan and Inter can do it, why not Liverpool and Everton? Or the two Bristol clubs? Or West Ham and Tottenham?

Same-city clubs should share grounds, share costs, share facilities.

The awesome San Siro (probably the best European ground Hatchet Man has visited) is owned by the council and club shops - or rather superstores - are in the city centre, away from the stadium.

You might say, in England, tribal rivalries would not accept this and that there would be violent repercussions, but can't we too be grown up about this?

If the Italians - with their shocking history of crowd violence - can do it, why can't we?

Imagine the quality of the facilities, the savings and the eco-friendly message it would send out from football. Everyone's a winner.

The traditionalists won't like it. So there's another reason to do it.

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Where can you see one of the top young players in England for peanuts?

Freezing conditions: Roque and Benni launch Blackburn's season ticket price non-hike

At Blackburn, where there is a price freeze on tickets and you can watch them for £249 next season. (Chelsea fans, that's for a whole season, not just for one game).

Hatchet Man says: well done, Rovers. They deserve this forward-thinking decision to be rewarded with an increase in their attendances. And it's worth going along to Ewood Park just to see the terrific David Bentley, before one of the big clubs snatches him away.

Even if you're not an avid supporter, then why not buy a ticket before April, when the offer runs out?

If watching Mark Hughes and his emerging team doesn't swing it for you, then imagine some of the opposition players you can see - when Ronaldo, Torres, Gerrard, Adebayor and Rooney swing into town - without the inevitable scramble to get your tickets for Old Trafford or Anfield.

I know a Liverpool fan who has a season ticket at Fulham for the same reason. Only next season, he'll probably be watching Norwich, Coventry and Burnley, which doesn't quite have the same allure, does it?

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Tim Cahill can celebrate how the hell he likes. Top goal, top player and, after his rather important strike against Portsmouth at the weekend, he dedicated the moment to his brother.

He linked his hands in the sign of handcuffs, apparently because Sean Cahill was jailed for six years.

The righteous are having a field day, but what did Tim Cahill do wrong? It's his brother who has been found guilty and has rightly been banged up for six years.

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Rio Ferdinand is stalling on a new deal at Manchester United. Here we go again. Player delays signing deal while he waits for bigger club (is there a bigger club?) to inflate his value.

His agent, Mr Loadsamoney, calls other clubs – or even other agents connected to other clubs - and then leaks the story to a newspaper, normally The Sun or the News of the World, saying they are "talking" to Milan, Barcelona or Real Madrid.

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Listen here, Rio: Red rival Fernando Torres (right) has a word with Ferdinand about wonga during the north-west derby

Then, because of player power and the chance the 'star' might one day leave on a free transfer if he is allowed to run down his contract, the club is forced to offer an even grander salary so he will sign and stay.

After these protracted (boring) negotiations are concluded, the player will blame the newspapers and tell the fans: "I want to spend the rest of my career here and never wanted to go."

It's an old trick that fools some of the people all of the time.

Just get it signed, Rio.

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Anyone heard any West Ham fans moaning this week about Robert Green and why he hasn't been picked for England?

No? Well, Chelsea did hammer four goals past him in front of the England manager on Saturday. There are four reasons why.