Sporting Miscellanies

In a fetching little irony, the man who began his career as Barcelona's interpreter falls victim to a pesky translation problem himself. Jose Mourinho is scandalised that admiring remarks about Sir Alex Ferguson, as confided to the Inter Milan website, have been taken out of context (what else?) and misrepresented as a job application. Jose is well entitled to be livid, having taken every care not to associate himself with the job. It's as long ago as July, in fact, since he last let it be known that he'd love to succeed Sir Alex at Manchester United. Before that, you have to go all the way back to March, when he said that he expects to be shortlisted when the post becomes vacant. No one could have done more to distance himself from this speculation, and the Portuguese isn't scheduled to link himself with the Old Trafford position again until the middle of January.

Fergie refuses to play the Green party game

If there is one man who anticipates Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement with more relish than Jose Mourinho, it must be Alan Green. Or so you would have guessed from the Five Live commentator's
self-aggrandising campaign to conflate Fergie's disdain for him into a full blown feud. However, in an Observer interview, the bombastic Ulster lardbucket confesses writing to Ferguson to thank him for contributing to a BBC tribute to Sir Bobby Robson, and for being nice to Five Live pundit Jimmy Armfield when he was sick with lymphoma. Why and on whose behalf Mr Green took it upon himself to do this wasn't made clear, but the good news is that Fergie didn't dignify this condescending nonsense with a reply.

Punters can cash in on Watt's wrong calls

Jim Watt's Sky Sports boxing punditry is quite the gift that keeps on giving. After scoring the recent freak show in favour of Nikolay Valuev, the former flyweight champion franked the form yesterday when Manny Pacquiao met Miguel Angel Cotto. Once Jim had demanded that Cotto's corner retire him after the 10th, it was inevitable that Cotto would produce much his best round in the 11th. The astonishing Pacquiao finally stopped the Puerto Rican in the 12th, setting up a potential megafight with Floyd Mayweather. If and when that bout takes place, punters are advised to use Betfair's betting in running feature, by backing whichever fighter Jim insists is finished to win the next round.

Jimmy misses his cue

With Phil Tufnell removed from Strictly Come Dancing on Saturday, it falls to Jimmy White to carry the louche London geezer reality TV flag on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here! "The hardest part for me is not knowing what's going on," said Jimmy as he entered jungle last night. But surely that's the easiest part for a man fabled for telling his wife Maureen that he's nipping out for a newspaper, only to return a week later after an extended lock-in dahn the pub. The hardest part is precisely what is going on. Jordan's going on, that's what, and it will take every last ounce of the Whirlwind's legendary sang froid to handle that.