SVEN'S brilliant and should not be Thai-ed down by some ignorant foreign owner


KEEGAN - you're only beating rubbish - Messiahs should be going for gold


CAPELLO should get some Villans in and drop the has-beens

What a way for the Swede to respond to the ignorant Thaksin Shinawatra's complaint that he wasn't happy, with Manchester City heading for their highest-ever finish in the Premier League.

• The previous HATCHET MAN

According to the Thai with the dodgy human rights record, the football being served up at Eastlands isn't "entertaining" enough.

Why doesn't he bother to turn up and watch a few more matches? Sven got just about everything right against Pompey as City looked like, well, "entertainers".

And if Sven really is under pressure, he showed a lot of grace and an unexpected sense of humour with the way he solved his defensive crisis.

All smiles: Sven is winning the battle at Eastlands

He can't have been pleased when Elano – who hasn't exactly lived up to his early-season promise – chose the very moment when his manager was taking incoming fire to announce that the Swede wasn't up to much with his training sessions and he didn't like being played out of position.

Apparently Sven was so chuffed over his wheeze to stick the bolshie Brazilian in defence that he was teasing the Sky commentary team before the match with the invitation to guess his right-back.

Eriksson was a huge disappointment as England coach but he always was and always will be an impresssive club manager.

Thaksin is clearly suffering from delusional foreign owner syndrome. He seems to think all he has to do is bring in another £10-20 million from his offshore accounts and City will soon be hosting knockout rounds of the Champions League.

Out of his depth: Moaning Elano slotted in neatly at right back

He's wrong. Eriksson has done well to produce a presentable team on the verge of European qualification in his first season, but if Thaksin fires him now, it won't be Jose Mourinho or Marcello Lippi coming through the front door to replace him in August.

Is there somebody with half a brain in the boardroom at Eastlands? Grab the Thai by the lapels and take him though the ABC of football reality.

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Bored of the Big Four once again finishing one to four in the Premier League? It underlines just how hard it is for Manchester City or any other mid-table side to break into the Champions League.

But nothing is for ever. Football's glass ceiling might be tough to crack, but one team in La Liga this season will tell you it's a lot easier to go down.

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A whole new ball game - Koeman could go down before Valencia at this rate

Champions League finalists in 2000 and 2001 and UEFA Cup winners in 2004, Valencia like to style themselves as Spain's third club behind Real Madrid and Barcelona.

But this morning they are only two points clear of the drop zone in Spain after a 5-1 thrashing by Athletic Bilbao.

The way their once highly-rated coach Ronald Koeman sat immobile on the bench and watched his team lay down and die suggests he might not be in a job by the end of this week. Too good to go down? Don't you believe it.

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Let's hope Fabio Capello didn't sneak out of Villa Park before the half-hour mark yesterday.

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Reasons to be cheerful: Ashley Young deserves an England call-up

It's there: Agbonlahor is a Villan with a mission

When he picked his 30-man squad for the friendly against France last month, he unaccountably chose to cut Ashley Young and Gabriel Agbonlahor from the 23 who actually travelled to Paris. And we all know what happened next.

When he's scratching his head over his next England squad to face the USA next month, maybe Capello will find some use for a two-footed left-sided winger who's not afraid to take defenders on.

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Lots to ponder: Fabio Capello at Villa Park

And a powerful striker who's good in the air and can relieve Wayne Rooney of the pressure of playing on his own up front.

If he doesn't see it now, England really do have problems.

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David James in his newspaper column yesterday: "When I received a text message from a reporter telling me I'd been shortlisted [for the PFA's Footballer of the Year Award], I thought it was a wind-up."

When Hatchet Man saw the ricket you and Sol Campbell made for Man City's first goal yesterday, David, so did I.

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So the great scalp of Sunderland is added to the list of Fulham, Reading and 'one eye on the beach' Tottenham.

Well done, Kevin. Well Hatchet Man for one is not fooled by the supposed Keegan recovery. Tell you what, Mr Messiah, go and beat someone half decent when it matters and I may begin to take you vaguely seriously.

We're tops for beating garbage - Keegan celebrates another goal against more footballing also-rans

And no, that does not include West Ham on Saturday. No doubt come the beginning of next season, things will be back to normal and you can do what you do best... concede lots of goals. I hear Philippe Albert is available on a free transfer...