THANKS Fergie & Co for reminding us why we all hate United with such passion


MODRIC - Luka over your shoulder and dump never-achieving Spurs while you still can


LEEDS are too big for League One but don't deserve their 15 points back

What I'm talking about is their horrid behaviour and general unpleasantness.

It was there for all to see in the glorious sunshine on Saturday. Well almost all.

There was a ruckus in the tunnel when Rio Ferdinand booted a ball and carelessly allowed his foot to "brush" a female steward. A big bouquet of flowers will apparently make the problem go away but such tempestuous behaviour is hardly fitting of England's future captain.

As well as 'Rio-gate' at Stamford Bridge we had the Red Devils in a most unedifying brawl with the Chelsea ground staff.

United are investigating allegations that Patrice Evra was racially abused. Chelsea will study CCTV footage before deciding on a course of action. Now, I'm not apportioning blame here. It was an ugly incident and behaviour that was most definitely not that of champions.

Talking of champions, Sir Alex Ferguson has won the lot. A champion and leader among men but he's either blind or barking mad on Saturday's evidence. Potentially both.

The cameras caught him full vitriolic sway moments Michael Carrick took a tumble in the box.

Now, my lip-reading is not the most developed skill in my extensive repertoire but Fergie bounded down the touchline - in that granddad chasing a ball way of his – and clearly shouted: "That was an effing penalty."

No it wasn't. It was a dive. And an outrageous one at that. Sit down and shut up, Sir Alex, you should have gone to Specsavers.

And then, to cap it all, Fergie's No 2 Carlos Queiroz marches in front of the Match of the Day cameras and effectively claims that United could end up with nowt this season thanks to some dodgy refereeing decisions.

Well, after that, nowt is all they deserve. Carrick handled the ball in the box. It WAS a penalty to Chelsea [and by the way, kudos to Michael ballack for having the composure to score from 12 yards – were you watching Crissy baby?].

Queiroz appeared also to be referring to when Portsmouth dumped United out of the FA Cup at Old Trafford last month.

VIDEO: have a butchers at this and tell me if was a pen?

C-O-R-R-E-C-T. Definite penalty.

The final reason why United are so unloveable is that you want to like them. This season – and Crissy baby in particular – they've played some scintillating and classy football. But in your office today – literally wherever in the world you are – some bore of a Manchester United numpty will be peddling the "we was robbed" line. I guarantee it. And it'll make you hate them even more.

It's about time that United – and, to be fair, Chelsea in 2006 – realised that being champions is not just about winning trophies. But, perhaps that won't be a problem for Sir Alex and co this time around.

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Still in Manchester, Sven Goran Eriksson dropped another clanger at the weekend – makes a change from his trousers, eh?

Manchester City owner Thaksin Shinawatra already has his hand hovering over the Alan Sugar "You're fired" soundbite and then old Sven goes and gets beat at home to travel-sick Fulham. And City were 2-0 up.

Did you see the surprised expression on Roy Hodgson's face. It said it all.

One P45 heading to Eriksson Towers, methinks.

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Croatia head coach Slaven Bilic says Luka Modric made the right choice in deciding to join Tottenham, rather than any other Premier League side.

The 22-year-old midfielder will join Spurs next season after they agreed terms with Dinamo Zagreb.

"Tottenham is a perfect club for Luka. Spurs are a better club for Luka than, for example, Chelsea," said Bilic.

Slaven obviously wasn't down the Lane for the visit of Bolton on Saturday. It's not too late, Luka, get out of it while you still can. That Carling Cup Final fun seems a very long time ago now, doesn't it.

Tottenham mid-table, where have we seen that before? 2004/05, 200/01, 1999/2000, 1996/97, 1995/96, 1993/94 and 1992/93 in the Premiership era. Presumably Mr Modric thinks he can take them to the next level – top eight, perhaps. Good luck, son.

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If you want to know why Reading having been dicing with death this season, just look at their top-scorers list.

Andre Bikey's joint third with three goals.

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Those who argue that the "Big Four's" domination of the Premier League has resulted in a boring competition should spare a thought for fans in League One and League Two where, with one game to go, no new side can rise into the play-off places. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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While we're in the lower leagues, it would be madness to return to Leeds the 15 points cruelly taken away from them at this late stage of the season. What could the league have possibly been thinking, leaving it so late?

The return of those points would lift Leeds into the automatic promotion place ahead of Yorkshire rivals Doncaster. And a legal challenge would surely follow from t'Rovers.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of Leeds' punishment the league has ballsed up the whole affair by refusing an arbitration hearing earlier in the season.

Leeds have sold all home tickets for the visit of Gillingham on Saturday ensuring that the Football League's largest gate of the season will be at Elland Road. Further evidence that this club is too big to be in the third division.

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Celtic are now five points ahead of Rangers at the summit of the SPL. But Rangers have three games in hand – none of which are against their Glasgow rivals. Erm, that's a guaranteed nine points then.

What a rubbish league.

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Finally ... check out Kevin Keegan's new stunning Newcastle striker, who's certain to keep Alan Smith out of the team.

• KK shows he's lost none of his gift of the Gab