THE FA show they are serious about the 2018 World Cup bid but I smell a rat


IF Chelsea reach the Champions League final it will only be because they've had an easy run


LIVERPOOL'S Steven Gerrard still does the simple things poorly

Its board members yesterday gave the go-ahead for the formation of a bid company to be set up to bring the World Cup 'home' in 2018, similar to the one that achieved success with the 2012 London Olympics.

• Yesterday's HATCHET MAN

At an estimated cost of £15million, it will focus "on the benefits that a World Cup in England would bring to the development of football around the world, and commits England to producing a World Cup legacy which enriches the opportunities for football to flourish in all parts of the world".

Hmmm, nicely spun words — and Hatchet smells a rat.

It already sounds like we expect to win the bid, pay through the nose for ever and a day for bulldozing and then rebuilding huge swathes of our cities to showcase the greatest show on earth... and then let another team, any other team, samba off with the trophy.

Which leaves us well, I suppose, basking in our legacy as football flourishes in all parts of the world.

At least as hosts we would have the consolation of not having to endure another white knuckle qualification ride.

And at least the World Cup would have come home, even if only for a few weeks...

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Well done: Michael Ballack celebrates against Fenerbahce

I thought the Champions League was meant to be Europe's 'premier club competition'? I thought you had to beat the very best to lift the prestigious trophy?

Just goes to show how wrong you can be.

Take Chelsea's Champions League opponents this season, for example: Rosenborg, Valencia, Schalke, Olympiakos, Fenerbahce and now Liverpool.

Little, if anything, there to get the world's coming club quaking in its boots. Let's face it, Bolton faced far stiffer competition in the much-derided UEFA Cup this season.

Compare Chelsea's run with Manchester United's in 1999 — Barcelona, Brondby, Bayern Munich (twice), Inter Milan and Juventus — and you'll understand that if Chelsea do reach the final in Moscow it won't be because they're one of the two best teams in Europe.

It will be because their run has been, quite simply, a doddle.

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Another big European night at Ibrox: Rangers v Fiorentina. Simply too dull for words, pal...

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Ibrox stalemate: Rangers' Dailly challenges Kuzmanovic during the 0-0 draw against Fiorentina in the semi-finals of the Uefa Cup

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Michael Ballack, we're informed, wants to stay at Chelsea for the remainder of his career.

And on a reputed £150,000 a week, I don't blame him.

For that much, though, you'd hope the 31-year-old Germany powerhouse can spend a little less time on the treatment table and some more time grabbing games by the scruff of the neck and bossing them like he used to do.

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While we're on the subject of bossing matches, when will we see the real Steven Gerrard?

Gone seem to be the days when this wonderful talent finished a rampaging run with a textbook finish.

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Needs work: Steven Gerrard's short passing can be poor

Gerrard seems to make the difficult things look easy — his wonderful control enabled him to nearly catch out Petr Cech with a looping volley on Tuesday night — but too often he does the simple things poorly, his short passing game repeatedly selling his team-mates short.

Careers are short and the clock is ticking, Stevie G.

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There are no excuses.

"We have tried to analyse what happened," says Rafa Benitez, still seemingly none the wiser after John Arne Riise's late Champions League clanger. "When you are left-footed like John, the problem was whether he used his right foot to clear."

When it's the difference between being Champions League finalists or beaten semi-finalists, best to pick an extremely well-paid, experienced, international footballer who can kick a ball with either foot, Rafa.

But, determined to get his man's head up, the Spaniard continues: "The only way for him to change the situation is to score in the right net at Stamford Bridge."

With his right foot, no doubt.

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Staring at the relegation trap-door does strange things to people; people like Gary 'Mugson' Megson.

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Gary Megson: not employing reverse psychology

The Bolton manager, who has seen his side emerge from the bottom three with back-to-back wins, believes Birmingham are the favourites to avoid relegation because two of their three remaining games are at St Andrew's.

He says he's not employing reverse psychology but come off it, Gary, you saw how bad the Blues were up the road at Aston Villa on Sunday.

It's rare to bounce back after a drubbing like that.

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Little Kev's big plans for his big club have hit the buffers big time.

Luka Modric, the Croatia star who helped destroy England's European Championship qualifying dream, visited the sporting backwater that is Newcastle this week, allegedly to discuss a prospective move to St James' Park.

But even with £50m burning a hole in his pocket, our Kev believes that Dinamo Zagreb's £25m asking fee for the 22-year-old will scupper any deal.

What a relief for the football minnows living in the shadows of Kev's giants, those known admirers of Modric, Chelsea and Barcelona.

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Stan Ternent has signed a three-year deal to become Huddersfield's new boss.

So, did Paul Jewell's former assistant manager not fancy relegated Derby's chances of a swift return to the Premier League, or has the fall-out from the club's embarrassing drop started early?

Huddersfield chairman Ken Davy revealed it was Ternent's experience that got him the job... experience that Derby will need in bucketloads sooner rather than later.