Playing tennis with a smile on their faces

The line judges here are not professional officials but amateurs from all walks of life for whom these two weeks are so important. Yet there is rarely a complaint muttered about them from players or calls for yet more technology to replace them.

There was no better example of this than on Wednesday when on Centre Court Roger Federer was being dumped out of the quarters and Andy Murray was on his way through to the semis but out on Court 12 it was tennis, but not as we know it.

On court was the duo of Henri Leconte and Mansour Bahrami, who in the gentlemen's singles competition have turned entertainment into an art form. For two hours the pair larked around pulling off a succession of trick shots yet all the while hitting aces and winners when they got into trouble.

Bahrami in particular can only pull off his trick shots, such as backward hit through his legs, because he's so talented and no doubt rehearses his routines. It all looks off the cuff and madcap but it's clearly something that he's worked hard at.

As a child Bahrami worked as a ball boy, and unable to afford a racket of his own improvised with frying pans, and broom handles to teach himself the game. His progress was brought to an abrupt halt when the Islamic Revolution led to the banning of professional sport in Iran.

He set off for France with his life savings, which he gambled in a casino and lost. He now spends over 40 weeks of the year playing in tournaments and exhibitions around the world.

Bahrami and Leconte's larks kept the crowd laughing for nigh on two hours – something even stand up comics might struggle with - Leconte even swapping places with a ball girl at one point.

As the sun set on this remarkable pair they took their bow after a two sets win I thought of the joyless return of England's footballers. If only they played sport with a smile on their face and had an appreciation of the world outside their megastar cocoons they too might be winners.

Queue up for best Wimbledon book

My favourite Wimbledon publication is without doubt called A Guide to Queueing for the Championships,' (and no I'm not making this up).

It's a serious glossy pamphlet on how to buy tickets after you've camped out overnight and the do's and don'ts of doing something most people would regard as bonkers.

Inside the book is the Queue code of conduct' - a sort of ten commandments if you like with the worst sin of all being Queue jumping is not acceptable,' (in capital letters).

If ever an alien wanted to understand the British I would heartily submit them a copy of this publication. It purports to be a guide to queuing but I think that's only the tip of the iceberg. It's really a guide to being British.