Carlos Alberto Parreira wrecks the peace pact

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The locals are desperate to distance themselves from any security or safety concerns. So how does Carlos do his bit? "Playing in the opening match of the World Cup is special," he said, before adding: "But out there against Mexico it will be a battle, no make that a war, and we are ready for it."

Spoilsports at Woodland Trust remind us that the total carbon footprint for the tournament is predicted to be 2,800,000 tonnes, eight times more than 2006.

This is principally down to travel but for they also claim: "If a fan watches all 64 games on a 42" LCD TV via SKY HD, their carbon footprint would increase by the equivalent of 130 plastic bags." So, ladies, an extra excuse for turning it off - you're saving the environment.

Cup fever around the globe . . . in Bangkok, brave fans can wear red shirts despite the deadly 'Red Shirt' protests. "It's no problem as long as there are no guns," said the army.

Christoph Schmidt, a German-born US corporal in Afghanistan, has no split loyalties. "I am definitely for Germany. The US might as well send their women's soccer team," he said.

Australian scientists in Antarctica have to listen on the radio. They must be working on cutting-edge science.