A Tory lobby group has been set up called Conservatives for International Travel, or C-FIT to campaign for airport expansion. The C-FIT website features a mock-up wanted poster of Shadow Transport Secretary Theresa Villiers with the message: “For the crime of turning the Conservative Party into an anti-capitalist, eco-campaigning arm of Greenpeace. 50,000 euros reward.”

Tory MP Douglas Carswell is outraged. “Theresa was one of the first to call for BAA's monopoly over so much of the airport capacity in the South-East to be broken up — an approach now backed by the Competition Commission. Giving passengers the option of voting with their feet to choose between airports run by different operators should help all of us get a better deal and better customer service than BAA currently offers.”

Asks Carswell: “Is Conservatives for International Travel quite the grass-roots campaign that it's portrayed to be? Who funds C-FIT — its membership, or corporate donors?” Who, indeed?

Underwhelmed by BAntas

MORE from the Anglophile executive in Sydney who was recently horrified at the doubling of passenger tax.

“As if that's not bad enough we Aus/Brit families now face a truly terrifying prospect when fulfilling our obligations — 24 hours in cattle class on BAntas,” says City Spy's correspondent Down Under.

“Qantas sets the service bar lower than a wombat's belly these days with ancient planes, surly staff and check-in chaos. However, having copped a BA flight from Sydney to Singapore last month, it's clear they are right down there with the mangy 'roo.

“The combined service ethos should be a doozy. Insolent Qantas stewards and BA hosties dishing out the fusion tucker (jellied eels wrapped in a Vegemite roll) and then leaving us to the entertainment channels of Rolf Harris, Neighbours and the celebrity show you lot film in a mozzie swamp at the back of the Gold Coast.”

City Spy renews its appeal for an interpreter.

Oops! Questor slips on oil slick

PERTURBING performance from Questor, the Daily Telegraph's stock-tipping service, which is under new editorship.

Last Friday, Questor was telling its readers to buy the crude oil exchange traded fund which is linked to the price of oil.

Er, the fund has fallen 13% in less than a week. “Questor remains unperturbed.”
City Spy is not

* ON the subject of tips, Evolution Securities is bigging up successful recommendations of its analysts in recent months. But it also admits to duff recommendations — British Airways, Dignity and Aveva. But why stop there? Paddy Power (Evolution's target of €26), Hunting (target 1400p) and Xstrata (target 4650p) are worth revisiting. Paddy Power is trading at €13, Hunting at 368p and Xstrata at 720p.

* SIR Paul Judge is embroiled in a bitter dispute with his ex-wife after allegedly reneging on a promise to pay £14 million to a family charity. Back in December 1991, a company owned by him controlled the magazine Management Week, which collapsed. Many of the people left out of pocket were employees who had been told that the magazine would continue until at least March the following year. Others like former US ambassador Peter Jay, the Financial Times, Westminster Council and thousands of subscribers were also left adrift without a penny. Asked whether he would cough up, Judge said at the time: “Although I have considerable means, I have many calls on them, like charities and so on.”

Cheeky Dawn has a festive dig at her
TV rivals

NEW Five boss Dawn Airey has a dig in Broadcast, joking about what fellow media bosses would like from Father Christmas.

James Murdoch? “£940 million,” she suggests, a reference to the huge amount of cash he spent on ITV shares, which have slumped in value
Michael Grade? “Three pairs M&S socks (red) or 3000 ITV stocks (whichever's cheaper).”

For Simon Shaps, the recently departed programming boss of ITV? “DVD box-sets of The Palace, Rock Rivals and Echo Beach” — all those dramas he commissioned that flopped in the ratings.

Airey, who quit Sky, an internet start-up and ITV in the space of a little over a year, adds: “As for me, considering the number of people in the industry I've pissed off this year because I've left their employ or pinched a member of their staff, all I want is peace on earth and goodwill.”

Why I fired my secretary'

“LAST week was my birthday. I went downstairs for breakfast, hoping my wife would be pleasant and say happy birthday, and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone happy birthday. I thought well, that's marriage for you, but the kids, they will remember'. My kids came bounding downstairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low.

“As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said Good morning boss, and by the way happy birthday.' At least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock when Jane knocked on my door and said You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me?' I said Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!'

“We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each, and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?' I responded I guess not. What do you have in mind?' She said Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.'

“After we arrived at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' OK,' I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...and followed by my wife, my kids and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing Happy Birthday.

“And I just sat there. On the couch... naked.”