What have Sir Tom McKillop, Lord Stevenson, Sir Victor Blank and Matt Ridley all got in common? Yep, despite having absolutely no experience of retail banking, they all chaired or chair High Street banks (RBS, HBOS, Lloyds TSB, Northern Rock) which performed so badly they have all had to be bailed out by the Government. And which of our High Street banks has for the most part ridden out the financial crisis? Yep, HSBC, the bank that rode roughshod all over corporate governance rules by successively appointing their chief executives, Sir John Bond and Stephen Green, to be chairman...

Sorry is hardest word at HBOS

One banker who is definitely not saying sorry is HBOS's Peter Cummings. The Bank of Scotland corporate lending chief and the person responsible for guiding the bank's heavy exposure to the housing market was in bullish mood at an awards dinner last week. “I make no apology for driving social infrastructure in a way that would also drive shareholder value,” he said.

Hmm. HBOS has just presented its latest results. In Cummings' division, charges for borrowers falling into arrears have doubled since September to £3.3 billion.

“Recent pronounced falls in the estimated valuations of property and other investments have impacted significantly on the value of the HBOS investment portfolio with an estimated loss of
£0.8 billion for the 11 months to 30 November 2008,” HBOS said. “Investment valuations are expected to remain under significant pressure in our private equity and joint venture businesses.”
Just a little bit sorry, Peter?

* Oh to have been a fly in the wall at Slaughter and May and Linklaters as news came through that BHP Billiton was abandoning its bid for Rio Tinto. Slaughter, which acted for BHP, ran up a legal bill totalling £20 million on the deal, reports The Lawyer. Linklaters joined in later but still managed to clock up £15 million defending Rio Tinto.

No festive cheer from landlords

It could turn nasty. Landlords are said to have lined up “an army of bailiffs” to swoop if retailers fail to meet their next quarterly rent payments due on Christmas Day. The shopkeepers have been campaigning for the system to be relaxed so they can pay monthly rather than four times a year. They argue it would help them with their cashflows, especially now, during recession. But the property owners are also thought to be fed up. They've been hit by plunging values and would like to get money in the bank. They are even prepared to move in between Christmas and New Year if necessary...

* Royal wag Chelsy Davy, the Zimbabwe-born girlfriend of Prince Harry, seems to be taking a career in the law seriously. Having done work experience at the Queen's solicitors Farrer & Co, the Leeds University student has now bagged herself a holiday placement with magic circle City firm Allen & Overy, where she starts this week.

P Diddy cuts back on the bling

Ultimate sign of the times. King of bling P Diddy— formerly known as Puff Daddy, and Jennifer Lopez's ex-squeeze — has said that the credit crunch has hit more than just his lavish lifestyle. Known for splashing his cash, Diddy admitted he is toning down his wardrobe to reflect the new mood of austerity. He told Pagesix.com: “Out of respect, I've been trying to dress less flashy. You gotta know when to hold back and not rub it in.”

* Animal Farm. Researcher BPRI divides estate-agent firms into four: migrating geese looking to diversify away from residential sales; sensible squirrels who have already done that; hibernating bears who are closing offices, sacking staff and hoping for an upturn in the spring; and lambs to the slaughter who are carrying on as before.

* A PR comes to the defence of her client Cattles (you know the one, share price down 94% this year) and the Evening Standard's description of it as a doorstep lender. Could we not call it a “specialist consumer lender” or “the UK consumer finance lender” in future? City Spy offers her the choice of “doorstep lender” or “subprime lender”. She replies: “Subprime lender would be great.” Eh?

So that's how the angel ended up on top of tree

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom, and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang. An irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully: “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

* Sad news. Brunswick PR consultant Ewen Balfour has died. He'd been with the firm since 1996 after joining from the Royal Opera House, where he was public affairs director. As well as being wise counsel to boss Alan Parker — he knew his father Sir Peter Parker well — he made sponsorship and projects linking business with the arts and charities his area. He was a prodigious networker, formidably energetic, always warm and open. He will be missed.

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