It's nice to know you're getting value for money when splashing out on a big purchase, so it's interesting to see what Lloyds TSB Insurance buys when it goes shopping.

The firm is, of course, part of the Lloyds Banking Group that is now 44%-owned by the taxpayer. That hasn't stopped it spending who knows how much commissioning a survey and a not-so-gifted pun-maker to write a report on "driving under the influenza". It's a poll of how many car crashes were caused by drivers suffering from a cold or flu. Lloyds TSB's Paula Llewellyn says her research "serves as a double warning - firstly, to avoid driving if you're suffering from flu and secondly, be prepared for other drivers' irresponsibility by making sure you are comprehensively insured." Apparently, one in 10 road accidents in 2008 can be attributed to driver flu - which "landed the nation", the company writes, "with a £350 million bill". Hmmm. Reference to a bill reminds City Spy of another big number "landed on the nation" - £17 billion, the amount of Government cash that has been poured into the beleaguered bank so far.

* Well done Lord Birt for topping an Evening Standard survey of peers in the House of Lords who offer least value for money. The former BBC director-general claimed an average of £296.83 per day for attending the Lords in 2007-8, tabled precisely zero questions, spoke in three debates and voted in only 5% of divisions. Birt managed to attend on 72 days, collecting £30,709 for his trouble. It's to be hoped he is rather more active in his business posts: chairman of EMI parent company Maltby Capital and non-executive director of PayPal (Europe), Infinis and Eutelsat...

Taxing deadline with HMRC

HMRC has been running an advertising campaign fronted by Moira Stuart to remind taxpayers of the need to file their returns by 31 January. But a punctilious City Spy reader logged on to the HMRC site, only to discover that pre-registration was necessary, before he could send his return online. The pre-registration had to be completed before 21 January — a full 10 days before the return deadline.

The HMRC help-line person was disarmingly frank: “Yes, certainly, our mistake in the advertising campaign ... you can have until 10 February to file... you will be charged £100 penalty, but you can appeal it... ridiculous?
Yes, well, everything is automated nowadays, isnt it?

* From the Popbitch website, this email sent to all staff at Brunswick PR: “Dear All, Please can I ask that the shower rooms in the basement are only used for their intended purpose and not as lavatories. Thank you”

* As the recession bites ever deeper, even rich consumers are keeping their pounds in their pocket. With uncharacteristic Italian understatement Andrea Perrone, chief executive at tailor Brioni, admits: “The timing was not fortunate for us.” What's he talking about — a new shop opening, perhaps? No, it's worse than that. The luxury Italian retailer has just introduced its most expensive suit, with a price tag of $43,000 (£30,000). City Spy will watch the sales with interest — not least because not even the Obama touch has been able to rescue the US suit-maker Hartmarx. The Chicago maker of the new president's Inauguration Day tuxedo has just filed for bankruptcy.

Dragons are getting tougher

James Caan has said it, and now fellow Dragon Peter Jones has followed suit. The panellists on the hit BBC2 show Dragons' Den are going to get tougher.

Says Jones: “I used to be happy to take 20% of the businesses for £75,000 but I can't see myself doing that in the future. I think you'll see the Dragons asking contestants to give them 70% of their businesses for the same money before too long.”

* News that a Blackstone financier has been sued for insider trading over the takeover of a supermarket chain hardly received any press over here. It should have. Ramesh Chakrapani, who is alleged to have helped his parents and friends make $3.6 million on information about the takeover of grocery chain Albertsons did so while he was working at Blackstone's glitzy Berkeley Square head office in Mayfair..

Make royal benefit for Kazakhstan

Raised eyebrows at Prince Andrew's decision to hold a grand lunch at Buckingham Palace on 5 February for big wigs from Britain's nuclear industry. Andrew is hosting the bash in his capacity as the UK's special representative for international trade and investment. Of course he is.

So it can't have anything to do with the nuclear ambitions of his goose-hunting partner and new best friend, President Nursultan Nazarbayev of Kazakhstan? Nazarbayev is keen to build nuclear power plants and Andrew is equally keen to help.

In Almaty two years ago, he and Kazakh trade minister Vladimir Shkolnik spoke of developing co-operation between Britain and the vast former Soviet country. Shkolnik noted: "I am glad that we have come to a mutual understanding that we should develop the nuclear energy sector, and that the British government has shown an interest in this issue. We can be good partners here and work on a mutually beneficial basis." And have a slap-up meal at Buckingham Palace too...

* A toymaker has launched a limited edition Bernie Madoff action hero doll. The mini-Madoff clutches a wad of tiny $100 bills in his hand in a vice-like grip and wears a wristwatch painted in real 24-carat gold. Move quickly, though. Herobuilders says only 250 are being made at a price of £105 each

* The switchboard operators are still answering the phones at the London offices of Fairfield Greenwich on Cork Street in Mayfair. Given the investment firm had some $7.5 billion, or half its assets, tied up with Bernie Madoff, Spy wonders who else is still there

* Another round of cuts is said to be heading Morgan Stanley's way on 10 February.

*And the rumour on Wall Street is that Merrill Lynch and Bank of America staffers at the lowly “analyst” and “associate” or equivalent levels will be finding out whether or not they get the chop this week...