Quick to kick the Financial Services Authority over its new rules on bank bonuses were George Osborne and Vince Cable. They didn't go far enough, fumed the politicians.

What's odd about this is that neither man took the trouble to share his views with the watchdog when it published its suggested pay guidelines and invited comment back in March.

Indeed, the back of the FSA's policy statement published this week reveals a list of banks and professional bodies that gave the FSA their thoughts, not to mention six respondents who asked to remain confidential. However, inquiries confirm that neither Osborne nor Cable was among them.

It's all very well their sniping but what do they want? Where are their own specific proposals for how the bonus system should be reformed?

Tough action is guaranteed

THE FSA came in for a great deal of stick. It was widely claimed that the original plans from March were watered down. Not true, said the regulator, highlighting the fact that it is banning multi-year guaranteed bonuses. So how big is this problem? Well, a senior bank source revealed that Barclays, which employs 20,000 people in its investment banking division alone, has just three people whose guaranteed bonus stretches beyond 12 months. That's sorted them then…

* LATEST example of the Goldman profit machine comes from the results at hedge fund Capula Investment Management. Goldman spent a reported $100 million acquiring a near 20% stake in London-based Capula early in 2008. Capula rewarded its new shareholder with income more than doubling to £78.3 million and profit doing likewise to £64.9 million in the year to September 2008. Intriguingly, the highest-paid member of the Capula partnerships received £40.7 million in profit. City Spy wonders whether it was Yan Huo , the Chinese electrical engineer turned trader who founded Capula. Or was it Goldman itself, which is also listed as a member? If it was Goldman, that 20% stake looks an even better deal today...

* IT seems Bernie Madoff may not merely have screwed people out of their savings. Sheryl Weinstein, a 60-year-old accountant who blames the Ponzi scheme master for stealing her family's investments has written a book alleging they had an extramarital affair. Her account of the tryst, Madoff's Other Secret: Love, Money, Bernie, And Me, will be published this month by St. Martin's Press...

* Is Rupert Murdoch facing tough times? City Spy only asks because Charterworld, the luxury yacht charter, is offering anyone with a spare £187,000 the chance to rent his 183-foot sailboat.

A few weeks ago the media mogul was happily sailing his Rosehearty boat in Alaska — now he's looking to earn some revenue back from the 10-bed floating palace, which includes a gym, water skis, wakeboard, two Laser pico sailing dinghies, six full sets of diving gear, wifi internet and innumerable plasma TVs.

* ONE bank which seems to have emerged relatively unscathed by the credit-crunch carnage is Harrods Bank. Owned by the Fayed family, the bank saw profits fall from £300,000 to £200,000 in the year to January 2009, but it is still profitable and has not been rescued by the taxpayer. Also, when most balance sheets were savaged, its capital and reserves fell only £100,000 to £8 million. City Spy hasn't heard his name mentioned in this context but why not: Mohamed Fayed for Bank of England governor!

* AT a recent party of City heavyweights, a group of those present played a game naming their ideal Tory chancellor of the exchequer. William Hague came top with Ken Clarke second. Bottom of quite a list was…George Osborne.

Beckham keeping his eye on the ball

A good performance against the Dutch by David Beckham, winning his 113th cap for England, cannot disguise the train wreck which is his career at LA Galaxy or the recent dismal performance of his Footwork Productions company, which saw its endorsement income fall by £5 million in the latest 2007 accounts.

This might just explain why Becks has become a director at Footwork rather than just a shareholder.

Does he want to keep an eye on proceedings? No doubt board meetings will be a bit spicy as company secretary is none other than his better half Victoria Beckham.

* I can't say. I would have to personally come and kill you,” Greggs bakery chief executive Ken McMeikan said when asked the location of the group's new concept store in the South-East. Well, 30 seconds of searching on Google and City Spy, who is never scared of death threats, can reveal that it is actually in Bromley, Kent.