No sooner do we have the flop that is the national apprenticeship scheme, fronted by Lord Sugar, than comes news of another failed Government initiative. In the last Budget, the trade credit insurance top-up scheme was lauded as an example of ministers coming to the aid of struggling businesses in the recession.

Some £5 billion was being put aside to enable suppliers to insure against the demise of their customers. So how much of that £5 billion has been used up? Er, just £7 million. As ever, what sounded good in the Budget was not so enticing when the small print came to be digested. The detail showed it was not as widely available as first thought, and the Government was applying a charge four times higher than commercial insurers. “The scheme is £5 billion, but we never assumed that it would get to that level,” said the business department. So they knew it was nothing like the big deal it was said to be. In future, why don't they do us all a favour and tell us what they're assuming and stop wasting everybody's time?

“TALKING down our prospects now does us no favours,” says Alistair Darling. Obviously this was not the case 12 months ago when he warned economic conditions in the UK “are arguably the worst they have been in 60 years”.

Long session for Adnams

Jonathan Adnams was clearly stung by the criticism his Suffolk brewing company got after last year's dismal results.

Announcing a return to profit for the first six months of this year, Adnams said: “It is right and proper that companies regularly report their financial performance, but the results of particular periods can sometimes receive more praise or criticism than they properly deserve. They are merely snapshots from what should be a long-term story.”

* HE also seems to have had a better summer than most. “The weather often receives a mention when it comes to performance in our sort of business,” Adnams said. “We think that it is worth bearing in mind that, aside from the snows of February, we had unusually favourable weather in much of this half year.”

* DOING business the Blackpool way...Alan Carvill, the resort's head of regeneration (seriously), recalls how one B&B owner squandered a ton of money, not to mention food, preparing huge breakfasts for the guests — hen and stag parties with hangovers who didn't get up before lunch.

* THE latest news from Vampire Squid, sorry, Goldman Sachs, HQ comes from a lengthy article in Time magazine. The bank's supremo Lloyd Blankfein is interviewed and he seems a tad annoyed about the aforementioned squid taunt invented by Rolling Stone. Says Blankfein: “Oddly enough, the Rolling Stone article tapped into something. I saw it as gonzo, over-the-top writing that some people might find fun to read. I was shocked that others saw it as being supporting evidence that Goldman Sachs had burned down the Reichstag, shot the Archduke Ferdinand and fired on Fort Sumter.” Come off it Lloyd, are you now saying Goldman didn't do those things?

* FORMER Lehman banker Edward Filippi has set up a new hedge fund which is called... “Ground Zero Strategic Commodities.” Edward, are you serious?

Foster's building himself a nice little earner

LORD Foster is one of our most distinguished and internationally renowned architects. But how well is his practice doing? In February, Foster + Partners announced it was laying off a quarter of its workforce. And the report and accounts, just filed at Companies House, disclose the firm lost £16 million in the year to April. The company is ticking along nicely in terms of day-to-day trading; it has an operating profit of £25 million on turnover of £153 million.

The problem is that Foster + Partners is stuck with debts, much of it with 3i which now owns 40% of the business, that are costing £40 million a year to service. When the £40 million is taken into account, the operating profit becomes a hefty loss. But what of the good lord himself — how is he faring? Rather better, apparently. Six directors of the group increased their total pay from £3.1 million to £4.4 million, with the highest-paid director enjoying a 40% increase to £1.73 million. That director is presumably Lord Foster himself.

* THE Candy brothers may soon find themselves with cut-price competition for the remaining 40 flats for sale at One Hyde Park. Last week Sir Stuart Lipton and his partner Elliott Bernerd put in a revised planning application to build 62 flats in the grounds of the Commonwealth Institute, which lies a mile up the road on Kensington High Street.

The selling price of Nick and Christian's super-luxury flats with views over Hyde Park is around £4000 per sq ft. The selling price of Stuart and Elliott's plain-luxury flats overlooking Holland Park will be just under £2000 per sq ft. Savills is the agent on both developments. City Spy is sure it will be able to explain away the difference.

* HOW do property developers get rich? Figures last week from the Investment Property Database showed a 40-45% fall in the price of office blocks, shops and sheds since July 2007 has pretty much come to an end. Phew. But a look back to 1986, when IPD began to record the numbers, shows buying and selling property can be a mug's game. In the last 23 years, the retail price index has more than doubled and the FTSE trebled. The price of shops has gone up 39% and sheds 49%. And the price of an office block today? Exactly the same as it was in December 1986.

* GERRY Grimstone, chairman of Standard Life and Candover, admits he was considerably surprised to find himself on the short-list to become the new chairman of Lloyds Banking Group before Sir Win Bischoff was appointed.

“I never had a single call from a headhunter. I never expressed any interest in the job. And I'm totally unqualified to run a retail bank.” So there.