Pull the other one, Dave! Tory party leader David Cameron has called this week for an end to “secret corporate lobbying” and wants compulsory transparency rules for firms that specialise in spin doctoring.

Says Cameron: “It's an issue that crosses party lines and has tainted our politics for too long... an issue that exposes the far-too-cosy relationship between politics, government, business and money.

“I'm talking about lobbying — and we all know how it works. The lunches, the hospitality, the quiet word in your ear, the ex-ministers and ex-advisors for hire, helping big business find the right way to get its way.

“In this party, we believe in competition, not cronyism. We believe in market economics, not crony capitalism. So we must be the party that sorts all this out.”

Naturally, campaigners such as the not-for-profit organisation Spinwatch and the Alliance For Lobbying Transparency who have fought for greater openness have welcomed Cameron's rallying cry.

It comes after the Government ruled out plans for a mandatory register of lobbyists last autumn. While Dave's sweet words may go down well in some quarters, City Spy is not convinced.

Er, didn't Dave spend the best part of a decade spinning on behalf of first the Treasury and then Carlton TV?

And some of those who were on the receiving end of his calls during that era don't recall him being exactly the most transparent and straightforward of fellows. Quite the reverse...

Profiting from JT

Say what you like about John Terry (too late, everyone already has...) but his, er, chaotic life has been good business for the financial sector - and the taxpayer.

Aside from what he's lost to betting firms in the last few years, Terry's mansion in Oxshott, Surrey has been remortgaged four times in seven years.

He bought the place for £2.75 million in July 2003 thanks to a mortgage with Coutts. A year later he remortgaged with Northern Rock in 2004, then again with Coutts in 2006 and again with the same bank in 2008. By then, Land Registry documents show, the mortgage was for £3.95 million.

Coutts, don't forget, is owned by Royal Bank of Scotland. Which the taxpayer owns. So Terry keeps giving us all money. Who says footballers don't do enough public service?

BBC and Siemens in communication breakdown

Siemens has been blamed for dire technological problems with its IT and telephone services within the BBC.

Wags on BBC1's One O'clock News production team have created their own communications back-up - two plastic cups, linked by a length of thick string, with the legend “emergency telephones”.

It's no laughing matter. The BBC has had such severe problems with Siemens that it is reportedly going to drop some outsourcing plans and bring functions back in-house.

Gigs pay better than yachting

Slow Hand Eric Clapton's been doing very nicely on the gig circuit, City Spy hears. Clapton hit the road in the US, Japan and elsewhere in the past year or so, triggering a massive payday for the hard-working bluesman.

Accounts for his company just filed show he paid himself £11.5 million in the year to 31 March 2009. That was out of turnover which rocketed to £16.4 million from £4.4 million the previous year.

The extra takings were due almost entirely to his packed concert schedule performing with the likes of Stevie Winwood. Don't go looking for a fat profit in the company, though.
As well as quite rightly paying himself handsomely, Clapton had another year of losses from his “motor vessel chartering” business - essentially what his accountants call his 47.5 meter superyacht Va Bene.

The six bedroom gin palace which used to belong to Bernie Ecclestone, commands a £179,000 a week rental price in the good years, but last year does not seem to be one of those. Takings of £1.3 million were dwarfed by losses of £943,345 from the boat.

General election pounding

Is Douglas McWilliams, chief executive of the Centre for Economics and Business Research, going to be proved right with his prediction a month ago that he expects “a probable sterling crisis at some point before the election”? The pound has been tumbling in recent days to around $1.55, from $1.68 in November...

Following the Woolies model...

Hard to imagine but Woolworth's has become a business model for others. Mark Hatto is the m-d of retail group Midland Leisure International.

They're opening a store in Ledbury, Herts in March called Wellworth It! The new shop is on the site of the town's former Woolworth and more branches of Wellworth It! (City Spy is already profoundly irritated by the exclamation mark) are planned.

According to Hatto, the plan is “to replace the gap left in the market.” So what does the store sell? Homewares, garden equipment, toys, pick'n'mix - in other words precisely the weird assortment that er, served Woolies so well...

Two Irene Rosenfelds

There's the image of Kraft boss Irene Rosenfeld as quiet and full of praise for Cadbury. And there's the Kraft boss returning to the US company's Illinois headquarters and receiving a standing ovation. Which is right?

... Could Nestle — after speculation that it would bid for Cadbury — be lining up for a crack at Heinz?

Cobra boss unbowed

Bless. Lord Bilimoria feels able to give interviews again - after his Cobra beer entered into a “pre-pack” administration, leaving its unsecured creditors high and dry.

Cobra was taken over by Molson, but Bilimoria retains 49% and remains chairman. He insists, though, its creditors will be repaid, although he doesn't say when. “It may take me many years but I am going to try.”

For now, though, he is concentrating on growing Cobra again: “The challenge is whether we can do what Cadbury did with Green & Black's chocolate. They took it in house and within three years they trebled sales.” Pip pip!

A tall tale

Weird, what you get asked at conferences... an exasperated Jupiter chief executive, Edward Bonham Carter on the height of women in the City of London in the 12th century (seriously - unearthed remains show that they were surprisingly tall): “As a very short person, can I ask that we move the discussion on?”