You've got to love Terra Firma boss Guy Hands' legal evidence of brown-nosing from Citigroup bankers as they allegedly persuaded him to overpay for their client, record label EMI. Hands is, you will recall, suing Citi, claiming it lied to give him the impression that he was competing with rivals Cerberus in an auction. In fact, Cerberus had signalled it was not planning to bid. Yet all along, Hands claims, Citi maintained they were his best friends. Witness Citi's David Wormsley's message: “I know it may seem strange... but I am incapable of not trying to get you the best possible outcome.”

* Wormsley's M&A team was a longstanding adviser not only to Terra Firma and EMI but also to Permira, the private-equity firm that bid for EMI in 2006, effectively kicking off the auction process. At one point, EMI decided Wormsley's fingers were in too many closely related pies so it reduced its involvement with Citi. But dogged Wormsley got back into EMI's good books by insisting he was the best man to help them negotiate with Hands. As he writes to EMI's then chairman: “I am absolutely certain that I can deliver very serious added value in any discussion with Guy.”

* Court documents also reveal the jubilant reaction of Citi's Matthew Smith after EMI was sold to Terra Firma: “We got paid on both sides of the deal!” and later: “We got paid on buyside as well as sellside!” Wormsley himself boasted: “£6 million fee and we did financing for TF.” Very revealing...

* Meanwhile, there's been another grim round of musical chairs at EMI this week. Six months after axing chief executive Elio Leoni-Sceti and three months after Charles Allen abruptly stepped down as executive chairman, new boss Roger Faxon has parted ways with three top executives. Among those going is highly regarded A&R man Nick Gatfield, recruited just two years ago...

Ocado's basket case flawed

Ocado's inaugural management statement as a stock market-listed company revealed that the average order size has fallen by more than £1 to £113.59 in the last three months. So it may be no coincidence that a promotional email to Ocado shoppers this week enthuses: “Hang on to that holiday feeling with our feelgood special offer. Shop now for delivery between Tuesday 7 September 2010 and Thursday 9 September 2010 and use this voucher code to get up to 20% off your shopping (min spend £75, max reward £16).” If the maximum reward is £16, that means a shopper will only get 20% off the first £80 they spend. On that basis, it looks like Ocado is encouraging shoppers to spend between £75 and £80 — rather than, say, over £100. Is that the best way to drive an average shop back up above that £113.59 level?

* 24 May: HSBC chief executive Mike Geoghegan dismisses reports that his chairman Stephen Green will step down. “There's no plan at the current time to change anything,” he says. “Obviously we keep things under review, we have succession planning but there's nothing in that story.” 7 September: Stephen Green steps down.

Mike Smith, UK chief executive of City PR firm Finsbury, is quitting for arch-rival Brunswick. It was only four years ago that Smith left Brunswick for Finsbury. Smith is going just as Andrew Dowler arrives at Finsbury from Financial Dynamics...

* On the news that miner Gem Diamonds had discovered a massive, 196-carat, rough white diamond from its Lesot ho mine, City Spy Googled “biggest diamonds ever found” to see how
it would compare.
The response from the search engine was to flag up Bob Diamond replacing John Varley at Barclays.

Singer with business savvy

Exciting news from the music industry where Warner Music has just signed Hannah Yadi, who is described as a singer of “dark pop”. Yadi's MySpace page lists her many influences which include “my family”, Algerian weddings, dancing, Nina Simone, Billie Holiday and Pink Floyd. But perhaps the most interesting fact for readers of City Spy is that her mother is Margareta Pagano, esteemed business editor of the Independent on Sunday.

Dulwich wants to call time on 24-hour bars

The good burghers of Dulwich are up in arms about... 24-hour drinking.
The Dulwich Society newsletter is full of complaints about late-night behaviour at three bars in Herne Hill.
The editorial says: “The unacceptable level of what is termed the night-time economy is blighting the lives of those who live near
Herne Hill.
“There is an element of own goal about this issue. 24-hour drinking was introduced by Dulwich's own Member of Parliament, Tessa Jowell, when she was Culture Secretary. Speedy action is required to amend this legislation.”
One of the residents whose home is very close to the bars in question is, of course, Harrriet Harman, interim leader of the Labour Party and married to erstwhile union baron-turned-MP Jack Dromey.
The chairman of the Dulwich Society, one Ian McInnes, says that pressure on Dulwich's unique semi-rural character has continued to grow as bankers, City lawyers and the like have descended on the area.
He says: “Residents' aspirations have changed and what was previously considered to be an acceptable size of house to bring up a family seems no longer the case... there is a continuing demand for extensions, playrooms, cinemas, and mini-gymnasiums, often in the basement.
“Indeed, several basements have been dug in roads which have a well-documented history of flooding — an unwise move perhaps, and one can only hope that the owners have told their insurers.”
Perish the thought that there might be schadenfreude at a City incomer with over-mighty housing ambitions who suffers a flooded basement.

* There's an estate agency in Bath called Wild & Lye...