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Evening Standard column

Will Self

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London tourism

London - the city that you just can't stereotype

I was walking to the local post office one morning this week when I came across a policeman looking grimly at a large pile of car tyres that had been dumped in the gutter

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Richmond: London's happy valley

Richmond residents are some of the most satisfied in the country with where they live. Our reporter Will Self seeks the secret of their inner peace

Fertility isn’t a right — it’s a privilege for a few

The creation of human sperm in a laboratory raises the question of why society persistently views assisted conception as an entitlement

London’s a beach

During the lowest tide of the year, Will Self ventured down to the Thames to discover the secrets of the fluvial beaches from Chelsea Bridge to Lambeth

The taxi wars bringing tension to the capital's streets

Black cab drivers shamelessly stealing each other's fares and minicabs ramming their rivals - the recession has brought mounting tension to London's streets

Try all that's in this fun city - for just a tenner

An American travel website is warning travellers off our fair city on the grounds that it's "dirty" and the cuisine isn't all it might be

Could the flu be payback for our recent hoggish past?

Face it: you aren't going to die of swine flu. Getting all wound up about the looming pandemic is just a way of ignoring the plague of debt sweeping the world

Fewer rules on our roads will make us better drivers

Plans are afoot to make the default speed on A roads 50mph instead of 60, while more 20mph zones will be introduced in residential areas and in the vicinity of hospitals and schools

He was my friend, my mentor – the greatest writer London had

JG Ballard – Jim to those who knew him – is considered by many to be the most significant author of the past 50 years. Here, one admirer pays tribute to his foremost literary inspiration and remembers an extraordinary and gentle man

I don’t buy the gospel according to Saint Tony

I never took to Tony Blair at all. I was never impressed by his populist touch, nor was I sure that the benefits of a Labour government that sacrificed its principles to the free market could be outweighed by the gains to the British people

Why these Tamil sons in London, mourning their slain mothers in Sri Lanka, have placed Westminster under siege

Will Self reports on the third day of ­protests by British Tamils inflamed by the military actions of a Sri Lankan government intent on extirpating the last of the Tamil Tiger fighters

This stylish show should bite the hand that feeds it

I’ve always known when a TV series is starting to bite with me — I begin consciously organising my life around its scheduling

Porn in the home - it's the nation's dirty secret

One thing that seems to have been lost in the media blizzard surrounding the Home Secretary's dodgy expenses claims is the nature of the "entertainment" that was charged by Richard Timney - Jacqui Smith's husband - to the taxpayers' account

Get street wise – Big Brother is googling you

If Google's aim is to be master of all it surveys, then the launch of Google Street View in the UK brings it that much closer to surveying, well, everything

To gain our respect police must get out on the beat

Sir Paul Stephenson has chosen a good issue with which to make his mark on London’s policing, saying that he wants his officers patrolling on foot and alone

Oxford St is jammed but I’m proud to travel by bus

The splendidly named Dame Judith Mayhew Jonas is at it again, using her New West End Company — basically a shopkeepers' association — to campaign for fewer buses on Oxford Street, Bond Street and Regent Street. True, her stated aim is to make the area more pedestrian-friendly but, I wonder, what sort of pedestrians does she have in mind?

Your son’s drug ordeal is not fit to print, Julie

I was once on a panel that gave a prestigious award to Julie Myerson for her first novel, Sleepwalking, an elegantly overwrought account of an abused woman who begins a passionate affair

Come clean, Mr Miliband – tell the truth about torture

Now that Binyam Mohamed has returned to the UK from detention at Guantanamo Bay, there must be quite a few Whitehall mandarins — not to mention some ex-ministers — who are wandering Westminster frantically trying to clean the blood from their hands

Get off the phone and get on with your lives

Ken Stott may be starring in A View from the Bridge at the Duke of York’s but it’s what he can hear in the auditorium that’s bothering him

For ****'s sake, the swearing Mayor speaks the language of London

According to a leaked minute, Boris Johnson uttered the most commonly employed fricative expletive no fewer than 10 times during a recent phone conversation with the Home Affairs select committee chairman, Keith Vaz

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