Tonight:
5°c
With the sort of casualness that must come easily to a man guaranteed a £5million pay-off by his contract, Luiz Felipe Scolari has been waxing philosophical about his prospects of the boot.
"I like Chelsea, I like my job here. I like every day in London," he declared in the wake of Sunday's annihilation at Old Trafford. "But if I go back to Brazil, I will like Brazil the same. When I was in Kuwait, I liked Kuwait"
After last night, we may add Southend-on-Sea to the roster of places Big Phil likes. Indeed, should this FA Cup replay prove the spark that reignites his season, he will be honour bound to pay a longer visit to express his gratitude.
Southend native Simon Heffer, whom I'm convinced I heard screeching "Play up, Shrimpers! Play up, play up, play the game!" throughout, would make an ideal tour guide.
Right now Scolari has more urgent concerns than an amble down the pier with a flame- haired political commentator. Admittedly the improvement in effort and commitment from Sunday was dramatic.
Dropping Didier Drogba, Ricardo Carvalho and Deco seemed to concentrate the minds of those retained wonderfully and Chelsea defused a potentially incendiary tie with style.
However - and this is a huge however - the perplexing inability to defend crosses that undid them at Old Trafford persists, regardless of the new zonal marking system, and unless it is swiftly rectified Chelsea can forget about challenging for the title.
When John Terry and the gang permitted Adam Barrett to head home a bog-standard corner unchallenged, Scolari made no attempt to hide his fury. Quite the reverse, once he was sure that an ITV camera was on him he slammed that balding head into his hands with rather more force than Mr Barrett had felt obliged to apply to the ball. Whatever the Portuguese for "What the hell are these overpaid ponces playing at?" might be, that's what I imagined him hissing into his palms.
Although an early lead for the underdog is every neutral's FA Cup dream, in truth this one offered little prospect of an upset because all Southend's best work (and it was sensational) came from the unending sequence of miraculous, last-ditch blocks and tackles with which they preserved their lead until the closing seconds of a thrilling first-half.
Admittedly Chelsea were forced to endure a moment of extreme danger, inevitably stemming from yet another ineptly-defended cross, that might have proved pivotal. But once Alex Revell had headed against Petr Cech from two yards out, when Patrick Moore would have scored, fears of a seismic shock lifted like the fog that had threatened the game.
A few minutes later Michael Ballack scored what the pundits celebrated as a "stunning goal", charitably so given that it flew in off his shin and that effectively was that.
The chasm in technical ability widened in the second-half as Chelsea's superior fitness took hold. Ashley Cole bombed up the flank to good effect, Frank Lampard looked far more himself than of late, Salomon Kalou showed unwanted composure in front of goal, and a 4-1 defeat flattered Southend. It was more than adequate for Chelsea, of course, but the more significant result of the night was the League win over Wigan with which Manchester United leapfrogged them into second place.
The FA Cup, regardless of the tiresome hype it still provokes, interests the giants purely as a means of assuaging the fans should they fail in the Premier and Champions Leagues. A side as bereft of self-belief as Chelsea were four days ago cannot be blase about any confidence booster, even if gained at the expense of such middling opposition, and a swelling tide of contempt that might have swept Scolari away has, if only temporarily, been stemmed.
By no means, of course, is he out of the woods. Unless Deco relocates the creative form he showed in the autumn, without a remotivated Drogba terrorising defences once again, and in the absence of the Carvalho who (with Nemanja Vidic) has been the country's most commanding central defender for years, you cannot imagine Chelsea matching the inevitable United surge.
As for Southend, they had their fun, if not a full season in the sun, and garlanded themselves in glory with the passion and spirit of their play.
Their fans should be deliriously proud of them, none more so than season-ticket holder Alison "Alf" Moyet out of Yazoo.
Mature readers will fondly recall Alf for, among other hits, 1982's Don't Go. Even if it counts as incremental progress by the stellar standards of a World Cup winner, that's a sentiment the Chelsea faithless will be a little more inclined to lavish on their coach today than they were on Sunday evening.
Reader views (1)
Matthew
Is it really true that the FA Cup competition today is not much more than hype and something only to be endured? Here I am, in the colonies, remembering as a young lad the glories of that run to Wembley, the tradition, the history and the desire of players to run onto that hallowed turf, to add another gong to their collections, presented by "royalty," no less. I have to admit that watching Blythe Spartans a week ago was akin to watching Blythe Spirit a half-century ago, but I still whirled my rattle furiously -- when I was awake, that is. Come to think of it, my wife might agree with you: Much Ado About Nothing. Howay The Lads!!!
- Jac Mills, loudon, usa, 16/01/2009 18:59
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