Zak Whitbread can remember a podium, the tickertape and being jostled by Steven Gerrard. There was definitely a party. But, for the most part, Liverpool's 2005 Champions League Final triumph over AC Milan is just a hazy, crazy blur.

"I have to look at the pictures and the video footage just to remind myself of that night - it just seems surreal I was there," said the Millwall defender, who was a member of Liverpool's travelling party only to miss out on a place on the substitutes' bench.

"It's funny, I went to Istanbul as a player but I felt more like a fan. I was even snapping away with my camera phone, although I never saw the photos - I lost that phone in the party."

Fast forward four years and it is no wonder Whitbread feels Istanbul was a daydream. Millwall's Ravensbourne training ground is a world away from Champions League Finals and, even if the League One club's play-off tussle with Leeds, which begins at the Den tomorrow, delivers drama by the bucket-load, it is unlikely to be rechristened the 'Miracle of South Bermondsey'.

Whitbread still has fond memories of his time on Merseyside: he bumped into Gerrard and Jamie Carragher during a recent trip back to the city and is already planning the annual end-of-season raceday with his former Anfield colleagues Stephen Warnock, Darren Potter and Neil Mellor.

But the 25-year-old American could hardly be blamed if his recollections were not tinged by regret. A lifelong Liverpool fan, he made just seven senior appearances in three years before his patience snapped: Millwall's offer of regular football in June 2006, albeit in the third tier, was a no-brainer.

"I needed to move on," he said. "Being around those players was very special but it doesn't feel real now.

"You take it for granted but I don't regret my decision to leave. I could have stayed and played 15 games in my career at this point or I could have left and played regularly for Millwall. It was an easy choice.

"Sometimes you have to make a step down to go back up and we can do that here - we feel we could be a Championship club."

For that dream to be realised, there is the small matter of banishing Millwall's play-off hoodoo, which has seen the club fail to win a single game in eight attempts dating back to 1991.

Their chances of reversing that dismal trend were dented by a final-day defeat at Carlisle, which ensured the semi-final will be decided in the Elland Road bearpit next Thursday, although Leeds are unlikely to intimidate a team that plies their trade at the Den. Whitbread knows only too well how the atmosphere in SE16 can unsettle the steeliest of footballers, having made his Liverpool debut at the Den in a Carling Cup tie in 2004.

"I remember going to get the ball for a throw-in and just getting absolute dog's abuse," he said. "Hopefully, the fans will make it difficult for Leeds."

Millwall, perhaps unsurprisingly, have been largely written off in the build-up to tomorrow's first leg but this is a team boasting conviction. Just under a quarter of their 63 League goals came in the last five minutes of games and their grip on a top-six place held firm from 6 September.

Confidence has been given a further pep by manager Kenny Jackett reporting a clean bill of health, with on-loan Reading striker James Henry expected to recover from a dead leg in time to play.

As for Whitbread, he will always have Istanbul but the time has come for him to pen his own drama - one where he boasts a leading role, not a mere walk-on part in the after-show party.

"It's important I achieve my own stuff," he said. "If we get to Wembley, there's no chance of me getting the camera phone out."