Afternoon:
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Iran's players should hang heads in shame
When the historians come to pass judgment on this week's events in Tehran, they will do well to study their influence on Iran's failure to qualify for the World Cup. Buried beneath the trivia of million-strong demos and murderous religious police is the fact that, on Wednesday, the Iranians' chances died in a 1-1 draw with South Korea. TV pictures of six players wearing the green bracelets of the Mousavi supporters confirm that their minds were elsewhere. Are these people entirely ignorant of Bill Shankly's old dictum that football isn't a matter of life and death...? Dilettantes, the lot of them, and they should hang their heads in shame.
Terror judge brings Fowler gag to justice
Robbie Fowler was once a political protester himself, with that Liverpool dockers T-shirt. But the gravitas has faded and now he finds himself the butt of judicial footballing wit. Cited as evidence of a link between two defendants in a terrorism conspiracy case was a text one sent the other when Fowler rejoined Liverpool.
When a lawyer read this but confused “resigned” with “re-signed”, Mr Justice Henriques pointed out the confusion. “My mistake,” said the brief. “Liverpool's mistake in fact,” said the judge. He should swap the wig and bench for a comfy spot opposite Gary Lineker on the Match of the Day sofa. He's certainly funnier than Mark Lawrenson. Mind you, so is gangrene.
Jackie needs to brush up on ancient history
I bow to no one in my admiration for Sir Jackie Stewart's gift for ingratiating himself with minor British royalty, but he seems rather less au fait with the great rulers of antiquity. “You could say that you need a dictator. And, yes, it does work,” the Gibbon of the pit lane said this week of his motor racing nemesis Max Mosley. “But you know what? It doesn't last forever. Julius Caesar was pretty good at what he did. But he lost his empire.”
No, Jackie, he didn't. He wasn't actually an emperor, he had no empire, and he lost nothing but his hair and his life. And let's face it, most of us lose at least one of those commodities in the end.
It's Bjorn again, so Andy is in trouble
Disturbing news for Andy Murray fans. Bjorn Borg has declared him “ready” to win Wimbledon . . . not a vastly originally point of view, as evidenced elsewhere today in this section, but disturbing from that source nonetheless. The last time Mr Borg declared a player “ready to win” a major, he was referring to Roger Federer shortly before the 2008 French Open Final — in which the Swiss proved himself ready to win precisely four games against Rafael Nadal. As is well known by students of Pele (the Viagra salesman tipped Colombia, Norway and, God love him, England for recent World Cups), greatness in sport and sound post-playing career punditry seldom go hand in hand.
