Sporting Miscellanies

Matthew Norman
7 Jul 2009

No doubt why Fed won title

With half of Hollywood and several of tennis's leading living legends among the crowd on Sunday, the absence of a central figure from last year's Wimbledon final went barely noticed. I refer not to Rafael Nadal, but to Gwen Stefani, who 12 months ago indelibly branded herself on tennis folklore by sitting in the players' box looking supernaturally bored by the finest tennis ever witnessed. Her husband, Gavin Rossdale, was back on Sunday, to reprise his I'm-best-mates-with-Roger supporting role, but curiously Gwen was not. Whatever the explanation, the importance of her no-show cannot be overstated. Leading sports psychologists confirm that not glancing up to see her wearing the glazed expression of someone studying the 1976 cotton production figures from Uzbekistan, for a thesis on the Soviet command economy, made the vital difference to Federer's self-belief as that final set entered uncharted territory.

Shedding a ray of light on who is the greatest

Meanwhile, the Fed's new record inspires much debate over the identity of history's greatest sportsman. Many posit Muhammad Ali, naturally, with others citing Pele, Jack Nicklaus and other deities. But my favourite contribution so far came yesterday from Michael, a caller to Nicky Campbell's Radio 5Live phone in. Without noticeable ironic intent, Michael proposed — wait for it; just wait for it — Ray Parlour. That was it for me, but if anyone had the strength to stay tuned in for the whole programme I'd love to know if anyone plumped for morbidly obese darts journeyman Andy “the Pieman” Smith.

Oy! Bernie's Hitler talk won't schmooze Spurs

Little Bernie Ecclestone has excelled himself by lauding Hitler as “a guy who got things done” and suggesting his major error, big wuss that he was, was being bullied into the Holocaust. Any lingering hopes that F1's Great Dictator might transfer his backing from QPR to Spurs, where Daniel Levy dreams of a billionaire purchaser, are fading. It's also believed that the arrival of Grand Prix's first Israeli team is now off the cards. There were already concerns that a Jewish F1 outfit would cause chaos by quadruple parking in the pit lane (St John's Wood High Street shoppers will take the point). After Bernie's contribution, the debut of Gefilte GP is indefinitely postponed.

Stevie G risks wrath as he soaks up The Sun

The second instalment of our summer series Premier League Stars On Their Hols brings news of Steven Gerrard. A friend returns from Istanbul to report spotting him reclining by the pool with a copy of The Sun resting atop the pile of papers on the drinks table. This wouldn't go down well back home, where the Scousers still boycott the paper 20 years after its Hillsborough coverage. Many Brits go abroad to indulge tastes discouraged here but Stevie G is the first case of someone flying to Turkey to read the Currant Bun in safety.