Gamers are out to kill me, says battler Bolt

Just in case you thought the world of Usain Bolt was all pointy-fingered victory celebrations, chillin' with Chris Gayle and mysterious Caribbean car crashes, the Jamaican has revealed the trauma that can be caused by being the world's fastest man.

Apparently, Bolt's profile makes enjoying his favourite computer game, Call of Duty: World at War, nigh-on impossible - so much so, in fact, that he now plays under a pseudonym.

"They're picking on me because they want to kill the world's fastest man," he said.

This is the same game, incidentally, that amuses Chelsea players on the team bus after away matches.

But if thousands want to blow up the generally well-liked Bolt, how many keyboard-warriors must be after Ashley Cole?

Lee can help to turn Toon into a Fortress

Newcastle United and sensible wealth management — not words that generally appear in the same sentence but at least former Toon player Rob Lee knows what to do with his money.

The former England star, always renowned for looking after his pennies as a player, has set up an asset management company, Fortress, to look after young players with more cash than sense.
Forget the teenagers, though, Mike Ashley could probably do with a few tips.

Williamson roped in ahead of showdown

Psychological blows can be inflicted in various places in sport — in the players' tunnel, in a press conference or, if you're an American ice-skater, on your opponent's knee with an iron bar.

Now, ahead of Simeon Williamson's 100m sprint showdown with Usain Bolt and Asafa Powell at Crystal Palace tomorrow, we can also add on a rope harness at a Jamaican adventure park'.

Williamson told us his alpha-male mask slipped in front of track rival Powell while they trained on the Caribbean island during the winter.

Taking time out from their hectic schedule, the pair went to a park in Ocho Rios, where Williamson lost his cool while swinging through the forest canopy.

“I was scared and Asafa has video of me screaming,” admitted the 23-year-old. “It probably gives him a bit of an edge before Crystal Palace. But there was a big drop on that rope.”

Eriksson's other reason for getting tied in Notts

Forget the eye-watering salary, share options and promotion bonuses.

The most telling number in Sven-Goran Eriksson's decision to become a director of football at League Two side Notts County might just lie in the oft-quoted statistic about Nottingham boasting a men to women ratio of roughly 1:3.

It's enough to make anyone's unfeasibly expensive rimless spectacles steam up.