Tonight:
5°c
Wenger alone can see real 'handball' victim
It may not have been a happy weekend for Arsenal, what with going down at Sunderland without scoring while another north London club whose name escapes me restricted themselves to just the nine, but at least the manager had a personal triumph. Countless thoughts have been expressed about a certain handball but only Arsene Wenger has shown the intellect and judgment to see through the smoke and identify Thierry Henry as the victim. "They should do that," said the Alsatian, vainly pressing the French Football Federation to sanction a replay. "Thierry has done so much for French football that the federation has to help him." Ah, bless poor little Thierry, what he must be going through. And to think that before Arsene's intervention, some credulous fools had been bamboozled into feeling sorry for the Irish.
Hiddink return would over-egg Chelsea bun
At Chelsea, the time to untie the yellow ribbon from around the old oak tree and welcome Guus Hiddink home may be close. Following Russia's startling World Cup play-off defeat by Slovenia, Hiddink is reportedly poised to take the director of football job at Stamford Bridge. I know, I know . . . with everything running so smoothly under Carlo Ancelotti, it would be lunacy for Mr Abramovich to endanger success by yoking him to an equally strong-willed internal rival, creating the assumption that Ancelotti will be fired as soon as he loses two consecutive games. Utter madness. So expect the announcement this side of Christmas.
Fry hits double top as classical voice of darts
How long now before Sid Waddell is joined in the commentary box by his main rival for the title Most Eloquent Living Englishman? Yup, Stephen Fry spent the weekend Tweeting about the Grand Slam of Darts event won, would you believe it, by Phil Taylor. Apart from echoing Sid by identifying Taylor as the game's Don Bradman, Stephen found time to express shock and joy at the beauty of defeated finalist Scott “Scotty2Hottie” Waites's missus. But of his myriad Tweets, my favourite read: “Aaah — what an evening of pleasure. Thank you Sagittaria, Roman Goddess of darts.” After that classical reference, I call on Stephen to reinvigorate my long-running campaign to saddle the lovely Russian lady arrowsmith Anastasia Dobromyslova with the nickname Aphrodarty.
Hail, Master of Overstatement
As for the Master of Ceremonies for that tournament in Wolverhampton (or “Wolvie” as Stephen's character-saving Tweet styling prefers), a word of praise for John McDonnell. “Once again, ladies and gentlemen,” declared John, who straddles the worlds of boxing and darts like a vocal colossus, at the conclusion of last night's match, “a thrilling final.” Indeed, indeed. The leg score, if you missed it, was 16-2 in Phil the Power's favour. Can it get more thrilling than that?
