Morning:
8°c
It was 50 years ago almost today, to adapt an opening line from a little known local band, that Bill Shankly arrived at Liverpool and taught them to play. There are various ways to mark such an anniversary, some more imaginative than others, and hats off to councillor Mike Storey who plans to award Shanks the title of "honorary citizen" later this week.
That'll mean the world to him. Just the boost a chap needs 28 years after being lowered into his grave.
My own, less surreal tribute comes after a trawl through that great man's quotes. "Football is a simple game based on the giving and taking of passes, of controlling the ball and of making yourself available to receive a pass," said Mr Shankly. "It is terribly simple."
Well, yeah, you felt as this Anfield sedative dribbled towards the mercy of the final whistle, it is when it's done right. Done like this, on the other hand, it is simply terrible.
By any standards this was a pile of steaming dung. Passes that were given were not by and large taken, the ball was rarely controlled, and those who made themselves available for passes all too seldom received them. Shanks must have been spinning in that grave with enough speed to corkscrew into the earth's core long before half time. So if you hear of an earthquake in New South Wales at about 4.35pm yesterday, our time, you'll know which honorary Scouser to blame.
It says something about declining standards in the self-alleged Best League In The World that Arsene Wenger can, after this flukey win, pretend to himself and the rest of us that his team are potential champions without risking a sectioning under the Mental Health Act.
Humiliating though it feels to dwell on the detail, we'd better go through the motions and observe that, with Javier Mascherano bossing midfield, Liverpool dominated an abysmal first half. It might have been better had Howard Webb, supposedly our top referee, given an early penalty after Steven Gerrard fell when picked out by the returning Fernando Torres.
If Mr Webb would argue that it was a perfectly executed challenge by William Gallas, I'd have to agree. In Judo, it would have ended the bout then and there. In football, it couldn't have been a more blatant spot kick had Gallas clubbed Stevie G with a baseball bat, then unloaded a round of AK47 fire into his head.
Had this been a proper Big Four clash between two sides with more than risible title ambitions, the Liverpool players might have gone suitably bezerk at this injustice. In the muted atmosphere that enshrouds fixtures with potential bearing on who might finish third, they shrugged and got on with it.
After 40 minutes, Manuel Almunia wisely decided that the tonic of a Liverpool goal was what the doctor ordered. To this end, the Arsenal goalkeeper patted a cross towards Dirk Kuyt, and even that fourth-rate Dutch cap-holder couldn't miss.
Any optimism that this would prove to be the catalyst for an explosive second half was ridiculed by another 45 minutes of tedium of a kind you wouldn't ordinarily encounter without having first downloaded an Alistair Darling speech from itunes.
Quite how Arsenal contrived to win is beyond me, albeit they improved minimally as an attacking force (not difficult) just as Liverpool momentarily collapsed at the back.
The equaliser was a slow motion car crash for the Liverpool defence, with Glenn Johnson sending the ball into his own net at the pace of the arthritic snail denied a regular role in Last of the Summer Wine on grounds of age and infirmity.
As for the Arsenal winner, this at least allowed Andrey Arshavin to provide the game's solitary moment of quality, his backlift-free strike, after another Johnson howler, being as cleanly struck as an Adam Gilchrist lofted drive for six over deep mid-off.
After that, Liverpool huffed and puffed without a shred of wit and composure, while Arsenal, for whom Alex Song stood out, showed signs of finally learning how to stifle opponents and run down the clock to protect a narrow lead. But they beat nothing, and were nothing themselves, in what felt less like a football match than an unspoken application for a one-way trip to one of those Swiss euthanasia clinics.
Actually, that flatters it. If Shanks was right about football being more important than life and death, this monster of a match should have been stopped, searched, arrested, DNA profiled, given a damn good kicking in the cells by public spirited officers, and flown to The Hague to answer the charge of being a crime against humanity.
Reader views (11)
Another third rate stinker of analysis - what a suprise.
- Bob Torrent, Brighton, 15/12/2009 16:33
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How about playing ugly and winning?....which is what we dont do often enough. Man U and chelsea do this regularly and thats what counts and the end of season. I really enjoyed the result on sunday. Leave the beautiful football for Champions League.
- The Truth, London, 15/12/2009 11:58
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Everytime .. I read an arsenal article after an arsenal win written by a spud / pool / or manc sympathiser, where the author moans about arsenal, ignores to praise, and belittles the model of a club they are ....
just simply makes my day 
... Go on Matty, keep up your envy ! .. Gooner envy that is !
- Eddie, london, 15/12/2009 10:48
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Obviously givens Matthew's love of Tottenham you have to take this article with a pinch of salt, however, you have some points. There is an interesting parellel between this ganme and Arsenal's game against Man Utd. Liverpool bossing the game/ Arsenal bossing the game. Liverpool take the lead/ Arsenal take the lead. Liverpool score an own gal/ Arsenal score an own goal. Liverpool get legitimate penalty denied/ Roony gets dodgy penalty awarded. Very fine line between sucess and failure, but Matty - what were you saying after the Man U Arsenal game?
- Richard, Adelaide, Australia, 15/12/2009 09:38
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Talk about being bitter! I've never read such a one-sided pile of pants in my life! Considering the roller coaster style form that Spur have this season, and the fact that EVERYONE knows you hate the gunners with passion, I would have thought an intelligent man like yourself (apparently) could either say something nice or shut up. I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, I agree that there was a definite penalty in the first half, that Torres squandered what turned out to be the best chance of the whole 90 minutes, etc, etc, but the match was played at a good pace, (albeit technically not great for periods), and try to remember that the gunners are missing a lot of players, and Gerrard/Torres are only just back and maybe not 100%.
It's a shame to see bitter rivalries leading to bog standard sports journalism full of 'sensational' accusations and insults.
I can only shudder to think what you think of Tottenham's match against Wolves.
- Troy, France, 15/12/2009 09:04
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Flukey win!!! A FLUKEY WIN???
Has the realisation that Tottenham's aspirations are still limited to 6th place, despite spending more than double on players than Arsenal have in the last 5 years, become too much for you to bear?
Arsenal were poor first half, admitted. However, the second half, they lifted their game to a level Liverpool couldn't cope with. They quickly took the lead and controlled the game, limiting Liverpool to hopeful, long balls.
Arsenal did a number on Liverpool and, for me, gained a lot of credit from the game. Nothing flukey about it, just a professional job. Pretty much the same as Wolves did.
- Pete, London, 15/12/2009 00:17
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yawn...
sour grapes, methinks...
- Suga3, Maidstone, 14/12/2009 19:28
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Mathew Norman has got a point. It wasn't a great match, not even nearly as exciting as the match against Tottenham where we completely played spurs off the park and thrashed them 3-0.
Often these big games are decided by a slice of luck or a moment of genius and Arsenal got both yesterday. We deserve it, especially after coming away from Old Trafford having gifted Utd a win with a crazy own goal and giving the same gift to Chelsea.
However it is clear arsenal do need another striker and personally I hope we buy Pavyluchenko.
- Big Al, London, England, 14/12/2009 18:26
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Matthew Matthew Matthew, we all know that you are Spurs fan who must be slightly aggrieved at the Wolves result and perhaps want to ignore and forget it ever happened. However, it might be worthwhile, just every now and then, if you took your Spurs pants off for an article and actually realise that in turning around the game yesterday, the Arsenal put themselves in a strong position to challenge for a league title which nobody seems keen to runaway with. Enjoy the Europa Cup next year wont you?
- Joe, london, 14/12/2009 14:23
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Same old boring comments... when Arsenal loses this kind of games, then they are just a side that needs to play beautiful football to win, on a day where everything clicks because of course they have no mental strength. When they win these games, they have just been lucky and, no, they won't be title contenders... thanks for the contribution anyway!
- Pete, London, 14/12/2009 13:21
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Clearly not a great match. But c'mon, Arsenal are obviously hampered by injuries. Missing Van Persie, Bendtner, Rosicky, Clichy and Gibbs...a win at Anfield is a great result. Not as great as a home defeat by
Wolves but it'll do. Top four for 'arry-boy? Ha ha ha
- Gaz, london, 14/12/2009 12:12
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