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Fireman sperm donor to fight CSA
Sophie Goodchild, Evening Standard03.12.07
A London man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple is being made to pay child support, the Standard reveals today.
Andy Bathie, 37, a firefighter from Enfield, agreed to help Sharon and Terri Arnold after they assured him he would have no involvement in the children's upbringing and no financial commitment.
But he is now having his pay docked to pay thousands of pounds in child maintenance even though he has no legal rights over the boy and girl the couple had. He says the payments mean he and his wife cannot afford to have children of their own.
Mr Bathie, from Enfield, said: "These women wanted to be parents and take on all the responsibilities that brings. I would never have agreed to this unless they had been living as a committed family. And now I can't afford to have children with my own wife - it's crippling me financially."
He is now bringing an unprecedented legal challenge so that he is not recognised as a legal parent to the children.
Mr Bathie was approached by the couple five years ago after they were "married" in a ceremony. They had unsuccessfully asked other male friends.
He said: "I did look into the legal side and understood that as a couple they would be the parents, not me. I was never Daddy."
He was stunned when the Child Support Agency contacted him last November to demand payments because the women had split up.
Officials made him take a £400 paternity test and began docking his pay.
Mr Bathie added: "The only reason these children are here is because they wanted children as a couple which means they should take responsibility. The CSA admit that mine is an unusual case - this is double standards and I'm having money stolen by the Government."
At the time of the donation, Mr Bathie was in a relationship with a woman who had been sterilised and was not planning to have children. He has since married someone else.
The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority is now warning "DIY" donors they are liable financially unless they donate through a licensed clinic. The HFEA said: "We would warn men providing genetic material that the only time they are not the father is when they donate through a licensed fertility clinic. This does not apply to unlicensed websites or home insemination."
Lawyers say an increasing number of men are seeking legal advice after being approached by lesbian couples desperate to conceive but who cannot afford clinic costs.
Ministers have drawn up fertility reforms giving equal parenting rights to same-sex couples who "marry" in a civil partnership. This means they will now be recognised as the legal parents of children they conceive through sperm donation.
This change comes too late for Mr Bathie, who has only met the children, now aged two and four, a couple of times.
He is now pushing for an amendment to make the laws retrospective.
Sharon and Terri Arnold were not available for comment.
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Reader views (18)
Here's a sample of the latest views published. You can click view all to read all views that readers have sent in.
These women are on support, plus they can now collect a constant healthy check from the sperm donor? You have to be joking. What a cheek. Why should a decent hard-working guy have to suddenly be ordered to carry this financial burden? Who will want to volunteer any more if the goalposts can be moved? It's disgusting.
- Piers, London
These women are going to destroy the chances of hundreds of others who wish to conceive with donor sperm. It's disgusting.
- Maggie, Chichester
According to later reports, Mr Bathie had arranged to be "Uncle Andy" but changed his mind after the birth of his first child (the daughter). The mother has cards and presents signed from "daddy" and even looked after her for a weekend every month, referring to himself as her "daddy" too.
He even agreed to be a donor for the second child (the son) but shortly after the boy was born and diagnosed with a digestive disorder, Mr Bathie decided that he didn't want anything more to do with the boy and continued seeing the girl (presumably because she needed less looking after?) until that finally stopped too.
Now he's trying to wipe all of that responsibility from his past but children don't forget that easily. The only two people that have been both innocent and unfairly treated in this matter are the two children. Blaming the situation on a "unstable" lesbian relationship just smacks of callousness. The actions of the mother are also desperate (although the CSA has a big hand in forcing her to disclose the father's name - I know several people who have had to make that same, unwanted, decision).
The fault lies not with gay relationships, rather with the self-obsessed actions of all the paries involved. Gay couples split up just like straight ones do. Trying to avoid your own responsibilities seems equally applicable to gay or straight people.
- Mark, Southend-on-Sea, Essex, UK
