Morning:
14°c
One aspect in particular has bothered me as the Spitzer controversy rages: his daughters, Elyssa, 17, Sarabeth, 15, and Jenna, 13. There they were, pretty, beautifully dressed, standing with their mother and father as he resigned as New York governor. I can't help but think they will be deeply worried about their mother, who is now such a crucial role-model for them.
Silda Wall, 50, had a promising law career before she gave it all up for her husband. According to The New York Times, when the revelations of his meeting with a prostitute were revealed, it was she who told her husband not to resign. Was this because she didn't understand the severity of the charges against him? I find this hard to believe of a former lawyer. Or was it because, having sacrificed her own career for his, she couldn't bear to see the whole lot go down the garbage chute?
I wondered what I would do and what advice I would give my daughters were I in this dilemma.
I think I'd say this: study hard, go to university, get a great job. Work hard. Be successful. But don't rush into marriage; get to know and understand men.
Realise there are basically two sorts: alpha and beta males. Alphas are exciting and ambitious. They could be president. But with that ambition comes a voraciousness that one woman often cannot fill (think of Presidents Bill Clinton and Jack Kennedy). On the other hand, more dependable men, those less likely to take risks, can be boring.
Know all this before you make your decision. That may well mean waiting until you are over 30. Modern science will let you have children a bit later than when your mother had to. You need to know yourself - what you can tolerate in marriage and what you can't. Some can handle sharing a spouse, others not.
This week, on a new website, www.wowOwow. com, launched by some of New York's most experienced career women, Mary Wells Lawrence, one of the earliest pioneers in advertising, had this to say as to whether Silda Wall should stay with her husband: "Men with tremendous egos use everyone around them every second of every day and wives and prostitutes and would-be prostitutes are just another fruit in the salad of life they were born to enjoy."
It's deeply cynical, but I'm afraid to say, in my experience of men with temperaments such as Eliot Spitzer, it's spot-on.
