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You're beautiful when you're angry, darling

Nirpal Dhaliwal
19.03.08

I love female tantrums. I so wished I'd been at the High Court on Monday to see Heather Mills's enraged dousing of Sir Paul McCartney's lawyer, Fiona Shackleton (which, incidentally, did Ms Shackleton a big favour, transforming her sub-Camilla bouffant into a sexy slicked-back number).

Women aren't allowed to be angry in our society, so it's very compelling when they do flip out. While men think their expressions of rage are a mark of masculinity, women are loathed for showing anger. Gordon Ramsay and Marco Pierre White have gained celebrity status by throwing queenie hissy fits in the kitchen but if a woman did the same she'd be branded a bunny boiler.

Women hold their tongues to keep society and their relationships ticking over. Their tantrums are their safety valve - and the truest expressions of themselves. I've been on the receiving end of many such rants and love seeing women in their full glory. I've been doused, stabbed, slapped and beaten with my own Nikes by women whose tethers I've snapped. While "I love you" are the words women most want to hear, the three syllables I long to have shrieked at me are "you bastard!" Because I respect women most when they're laying into me.

I find male tantrums nauseatingly ugly because they are always just an act of bullying. Men rarely have the guts to go nuts at someone more powerful. Female tantrums, however, are often heroic. How many people have the courage to empty a jug over one of Britain's top lawyers in the High Court? Whatever you think of Heather Mills, she has a pair of cast-iron balls that most men would kill for.

Anger is a disposable emotion that's expressed too easily by men but in women it's very revealing. When one friend's partner threw a glass of wine over him at a party, we all faked the obligatory embarrassment. But while she was in the kitchen sobbing to her friends about what a jerk he is, he was being backslapped and highfived by his buddies in the living room. He had wisely kept his cool.

Getting into an argument with her would have sucked my friend into a vortex of criticism. Women store complaints better than squirrels hoard nuts, and every grievance she'd ever held would have been aired. Instead, he simply enjoyed her tantrum like any other act of nature. And that is the only way to handle such an awesome spectacle.

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