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Salute these mothers who have faith in forgiveness

Will Self
13 May 2008


What, I wonder, do Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and all the other professional atheists who make good money out of knocking people's religious faith make of the behaviour of Margaret Mizen in the immediate aftermath of her son Jimmy's murder? The 16-year-old was killed last Saturday in an unprovoked attack at a bakery in Lee; the following morning, the devoutly Catholic Mrs Mizen found this in her heart: "I just want to say to the parents of this other boy I feel so sorry for them. I don't feel anger, I feel sorry for the parents."

Her words recall the extraordinary compassion demonstrated towards his killers by the equally devout Estella ap Rhys Price after the murder of her son Tom - again, an unprovoked assault - in Willesden in 2007. "These children are not intrinsically evil. If they had been educated properly and given the right moral training they would not have done this. I feel sorry for them." So sorry did Mrs ap Rhys Price and her husband John feel that they set up a charity in their son's memory, dedicated to educational and vocational training for the kinds of deprived, inner-city boys who can become twisted into killers.

It's hard to think of any secularist, no matter how great a "humanist", who can match this level of raw sympathy, understanding and forgiveness. Most of us who are without faith nonetheless learn the truth of the old adage that holding on to a resentment is like drinking a cup of poison and expecting the other person to die. But we learn it the hard way, and we keep sipping the poison.

This isn't an excuse for some kind of moral beauty contest, and I feel nothing but sorry for her and her loss, but it's worthwhile contrasting Mrs Mizen and Mrs ap Rhys Price with Frances Lawrence, the widow of the headmaster Philip Lawrence, who was stabbed to death by a former pupil in 1995. Twelve years later, when her husband's killer - who was 15 at the time of the murder - was about to be released from jail, having served his time, Mrs Lawrence found it impossible to accept that the Home Office wouldn't deport him to Italy, where he was born but hadn't lived since he was five. "I am utterly devastated," she said, "the Human Rights Act has failed to encompass the rights of my family. I feel I can't survive this."

Perhaps the problem here lies with "human rights" themselves. If the only justice that matters is divine you can overlook human frailties of all kinds, but it seems to me that humanists, with their notion of "rights" deriving simply from a species identity, often end up with a frail, suspiciously human deity.

Personally, if I were in the position of any of these parents, or partners, I'm sure I'd tend more to Mrs Lawrence than the devout end of things, but that doesn't stop me admiring enormously the moral dividend that comes with genuine faith.

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How does Margaret Mizen's forgiveness not stem from her faith? The fact that she has undertaken the commitment to forgive and love in faith means she can have an extraordinary sense of perspective outside of her extreme pain. Equally, many people would not count Bin Laden's actions as products of real faith, but something completely corrupted to support his own, political, ends.

- Tom, London, 14/05/2008 00:01
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Two points about this - first, do we know what Mrs Lawrence's religious beliefs are? She may be just as religious as the other parents mentioned. Secondly, she is in fact on record as saying she forgave the killer - her anger was directed against the courts rather than him. So the contrast that Will Self wants to draw between Mrs Lawrence and the other parents may not have any basis in reality.

- David B, Potters Bar, 13/05/2008 15:19
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Interesting. Though I don't think that there is such a thing as a "moral dividend that comes with genuine faith". See Mr Loyola/Bin Laden et al for another kind of moral dividend. Being moral/forgiving/good has nothing at all to do with having faith.

- Bexhanley, London, 13/05/2008 15:10
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