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My closest friend is a lesbian single mother of two who works hard and goes without to send her son to an independent school and provide him with all he needs - including football lessons. From what I've seen, lesbians provide a better family environment for children than many straight couples, having stronger commitment to one another and greater ability to share the burdens of rearing children. They even do a terrific job on their own. So why are the Tories now picking on them?
During the debate on the Government's Embryology Bill, Andrew Lansley, the shadow health secretary, said he wants all couples to have to produce a suitable "father figure" before IVF treatment. David Cameron believes family breakdown is the biggest cause of poverty. He may be right - but discrimination over who gets IVF, largely wanted by middle-class women who've delayed motherhood to build a career, is no way to tackle it.
I grew up in a traditional two-parent Indian household. None of my relatives is divorced or a single parent - let alone a lesbian. But that doesn't make me a nuclear-family fundamentalist. Children need committed parents and stability more than a prescribed family structure.
And if male role models are so vital, why are the Tories only picking on lesbian couples? Shouldn't all single women have to provide one too?
None of the woes of "Broken Britain" is due to the test-tube babies of lesbians. But lesbians make an easy minority to scapegoat.
Picking on lesbians seems to be part of a wider belief that family breakdown is the fault of women and their reckless procreation, IVF-assisted or not.
But the Tories have no policies to address the real cause of child poverty and delinquency - fathers who take no financial and emotional responsibility for their children. Welfare mothers are implicitly blamed for breeding out of wedlock but there's little criticism of the men who brag about the women they've impregnated while having no interest in their children.
If the Tories want to save families, they need to do a lot more than make spiteful, useless gestures against lesbians. Women, gay and straight, are as committed to their families as ever. Rather, it's some men who have developed a disposable attitude to their relationships and offspring. And you don't have to be from a traditional Asian background like me - or the child of a loving lesbian mother - to be able to see that.
Reader views (1)
Brilliant, so eloquently stated and so darn true. What about single men wanting children, will they need to provide a suitable "Mother" figure? It's so stupid.
If our (USA & UK) politicians would recognize that the issues aren't gay, lesbian or straight but how we raise our children and what families, single or straight, have to provide to do that. The support mechanisms needed for today's working family are vast. 2 parent (both working) families struggle to just provide the essentials never mind single moms and dads. What about putting some tax dollars into decent childcare or health insurance (and not a pointless war) for the parents AND the children. How about an educational system where parents don't feel the NEED to spend the money on private schooling. Financial worry and stress is one of the leading causes of family dissolution. Health, education, and childcare all bring a HUGE drain on the family pocket. Worrying about the little things means nothing when the bigger issues are left by the wayside
- Barbara, New York, NY USA, 14/05/2008 17:20
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