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I think the managing editor of this paper would take a dim view if I tried to claim childcare on expenses but then he wouldn't be very happy if I stung him for half of John Lewis's kitchen department either. I would be so grateful if, like Margaret Beckett, I could claim back some plants, because the ones I bought last summer do seem particularly expensive now I've inadvertently killed them off.
I have no idea if Conservative Party chairman Caroline Spelman broke any rules when she claimed back her nanny's salary because the nanny was doing secretarial work when the children were at school. To outsiders, the rules of MPs' expenses look chaotically home-made and I'm sure most working mothers will have sympathy for her: we all know just how fragile our domestic ecosystem usually is.
The cost of childcare is without doubt the single thing that holds back women in the workplace; to equate Spelman's arrangements with MPs' scams like paying off mortgages on properties that will increase in value (that's within the rules) seems rather sexist and irritating. Are we supposed to think that a woman with young children could be an effective MP without childcare but not without a new "nest of tables" and sideboard like the ones approved for MPs at John Lewis (£200 and £795)? Or do we think we're better off with little maternal representation in Parliament?
The odds in general are stacked against working mothers, who have to pay increasingly vast wages to nannies out of their already taxed income, or take a break at what is likely to be a key stage of their careers. Any existing tax credits are always too complex and too stingy to bother with.
More than 10 years ago I interviewed a series of high-flying women for a "they've broken the glass ceiling" piece and they all said that the biggest issue for women in the 21st century would be childcare. Then, I had no idea what they were talking about. Now I see what they meant: it is possible to work when you have small children but it is a precarious life that takes an enormous amount of energy, organisation and diplomatic skills. And the fan club, as Spelman will know, is always hard to identify, as your children want more of you, and your workplace would probably rather you didn't have any additional demands on your time.
Perhaps Spelman should go back to David Cameron and suggest full tax relief for all working women in place of the nests of tables. Either that or a free doghouse for each of us.
• Catherine Ostler is editor of ES Magazine.
