Living north of the river must be hell. I feel so sorry for people forced to exist so far from civilisation. Their one consolation is taxi driver approval - useful on occasion but hardly balm to the soul.

Those who live in Islington are particularly hard hit. They have teeny Highbury Fields and not much else. Clever dinner party chat but no trees. Gastropubs galore but no flowers. Cutting-edge theatre but no river. Someone should start a campaign.

Whenever I stroll along the riverbank between Hammersmith Bridge and Hampton Court, I think of poor northerners with no nature on their doorstep. Little Hampstead Heath and tiny Muswell Hill would vanish in our great, green, southern maw. People in the north have no idea how the great crested grebe, cormorants and herons are faring on the Thames. The white bryony and purple loosestrife flower and die without ever brightening their stressed-out lives. A flock of ring-necked parakeets sitting in an ancient oak - they've probably never heard of these tropical escapees, much less seen one.

So it's only fair that those of us lucky enough to live south of the river should let you disadvantaged northerners know you're welcome to share in our good fortune at weekends (preferably by Silverlink train and provided you behave). Take your pick of venues in the historic, leafy, watery area of the south-west, for instance.

Spend a day by the river in Kew Gardens with its homely 17th-century palace? Or visit stately Syon Park house, on a site which dates from the 1400s, just over the river from Kew but southern in temperament. Its gardens were landscaped by Capability Brown in the mid-18th century and now host breeding kingfishers. I know: I saw one fly along the lake this very summer.

River rats can get on a Turk's boat in Tudor Richmond and cruise to Hampton Court, home to eight of the kings and queens of England. Or walk along the riverbank to Ham House, built in 1610, the best example of a Stuart mansion in the country. You'll be spoilt for choice.

Next time you come, pack your binoculars and spend a day in the wilderness of the Wildfowl and Wetlands Centre at Barnes - its 100 acres are one of London's most successful brownfield reclamations. Or lose yourself in the 2,500 acres of Richmond Park among the fallow and red deer. Better still, bring your bike on the train and cycle around the park, then head off for adjoining Wimbledon Common and Putney Heath. It's just one great green lung round our way.

And you northerners are welcome to share it. But do bring a passport.

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