Tonight:
9°c
The financial crisis, economic meltdown, credit crunch plus, or whatever we call it has almost imperceptibly changed our view of some universal truths that once seemed rock solid. We've all already acknowledged that climate change and the terrorist threat seem a little less pressing. So, in the interests of updating our inner lexicon, I thought it might help to examine some other newly unfixed positions.
1) The Scottish accent. It used to be said that the Scottish accent commanded more trust than any other; Gordon Brown, Alistair Darling and several Scottish broadcasters have played on this for years. Now a Scots accent is the harbinger of doom, the grim reaper given too much airtime. Someone turn down the Mcvolume.
2) Scandis. Once seen as blond, dull and safe, the Icelanders have turned their reputation into one for being dangerous. The frosty, tiny country now seems packed with reckless gamblers and insane derring-do - how unexpectedly thrilling.
3) Estate agents. Once we loathed them as oily fibbers now they're only selling one or two properties per branch per week, they seem like pitiful symbols of the good times, like Father Christmas with an empty sleigh.
4) Investment bankers. Slick, expensively educated and smartly dressed, bankers always seemed to deserve their huge salaries purely by dint of being so confident and understanding something the rest of us didn't. Now it's turned out they didn't understand it either, they're just left looking overdressed amid the debris of their own party.
5) Hedge-funders. Brave mavericks or greedy, opportunistic and immoral? American hedgefunder Andrew Lahde, who resigned last week, said he was off to spend more time with his money, proving that honesty always wins the day.
6) Journalists. Self-serving but true, they seem like players again. Print lends authority to the news. The voice of the crisis BBC business editor Robert Peston is identifiably print-trained.
7) The young royals. Hopping round nightclubs with Paris Hilton and biking across Africa channelling Ewan McGregor for charidee, those little princes and princesses are not really of this planet. Someone sit them down for a quiet chat. Otherwise, bike off, guys.
As Topsy Turvyland hasn't settled yet, that's enough for now.
