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The women addicted to Facebook friendships
Sophie Goodchild, Health Editor22 Oct 2008
FACEBOOK is to blame for "friendship addiction", a leading psychologist warned today.
David Smallwood, an addictions expert with the Priory, says the social networking site is fuelling insecurity in users.
Women are particularly vulnerable because their self-worth stems from relationships with others and Facebook compels them to "acquire" hundreds of friends, says Mr Smallwood.
Social networking has transformed the way certain sections of society communicate.
Facebook has nearly 60 million users with two million new people joining every week.
Research shows social networking sites are becoming a substitute for families in countries like Britain where traditional ties have become weaker.
Mr Smallwood, lead therapist with the Priory's addictions unit in north London, said that at least 10 per cent of the population were vulnerable to "friendship addiction". He added: 'The problem with Facebook is it's all about acquisition and this is an addictive process.
"Acquisition of friends is like any other fix but it's competitive you judge yourself by how many friends you have online. You go out of your way to amass friends and that means people bend out of shape and become something they are not.
"To appear successful, you go and put yourself in credit card debt by buying clothes and handbags. I see patients who are on Facebook and my response is 'get yourself off it'.''
Mr Smallwood said the site was unsuitable for people recovering from drug, alcohol and shopping addictions. He said: 'If you're an addict you need to do things to fix yourself and make yourself feel better.
"People in recovery look for ways of being 'fixed' and these websites can act the same way.
"But the problem is there are probably only three to four people who can be at the top in terms of popularity. Anyone else is just an also-ran which increases the feelings of inadequacy."
The site could also increase feelings of rejection through its system where users "request" friends, he added.
Anyone who is rejected cannot then access the webpage of the person who turned them down.
However, a report published today about the nation's mental health says sites such as Facebook can protect older people from social isolation.
The two-year study by think tank Foresight warns that social isolation is contributing to mental illness at a cost of £77 billion a year.
It calls on the Government to make the ageing population a priority along with wellbeing at work and child development.
The report also warns that the cost of treating dementia could rise to £50billion over the next 30 years.
Reader views (15)
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- madz, india, 06/10/2010 02:53
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I agree with most of these comments... I wouldn't be so fast to say that theres something psychological wrong with these women who choose a cyber relationship over a conventional face to face relationship. After all we are living in the age of technology. -Arthur
- Arthur Muse, Jersey City, NJ, 10/12/2009 05:43
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People who are addicted to Facebook, Twitter et al really are sad intellectual vacuums. Why do people want to share their empty lives with anyone else. Just ask one of your imaginery friends if they'll lend you a £100 to help you out...won't happen...ever! Too many attention seeking needy people in this country.
- Billy Bob, Lincoln , UK, 21/10/2009 11:57
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I actually agree with this article and can see exactly what the problems with Facebook are and I can see that it does change how I feel or make me assume things about people that may not be true, which can be dangerous.
However I also think it's a great way to keep in touch with old friends and people in other countries and I also use it to advertise my company because it does reach so many people.
As always pros and cons but don't knock the professionals!
- Z. A, London, UK., 21/10/2009 10:57
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Rubbish - free advertising masquerading as (junk) science. Business must be bad at the Priory.
- C. Nichol, London, 21/10/2009 10:57
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Dt, so true...that's too funny it's gotta be a joke.
- Alex, London, UK., 21/10/2009 10:57
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dear sir. please, please consider this: "get a life".
- Michael Morrell, las cruces, nm, 21/10/2009 10:57
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I use facebook as a social tool to interact with friends and basically save on my phone bill. I do agree with this report and how it can affect people. I had a friend recently who is a single parent and doesnt have a facebook account, she looked in facebook and browsed old school friends photos. This triggerd off some sensitive emotions as she felt like everyone was having such great lives, going out all the time, looking really good etc. It made me see the down side to these sorts of sites and how it can affect people.
- Sarah Potter, England, 21/10/2009 10:57
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I agree with this. I would actually call my girlfriend a facebook addict, she has been recently laid off and instead of looking for a job, she will sit on facebook all day. It's all she does.
- Matt, UK, 21/10/2009 10:57
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I count myself as a sane sensible woman, but Facebook has got me all wound up and looking at comments from friends of friends. Does it mean this or that, no tone means things get misread. I got upset when I didnt get a gift and someone did - its only a virtual gift but it got me. I am going to have to ration myself from this website.
- Sarah, Bristol England, 21/10/2009 10:57
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my gf is way addicted to facebook.every chance she gets shes on that thing.its so depressing to watch facebook take over some peoples lives.facebook is like an email and aim put together except when nobody has anything else to do they sit on there looking and stalking at other peoples pages.its kinda sad actually.instead of just turning the computer off and not getting txts about everybody who sends something to you you could just turn everything off literally step away from the computer and get a life.can you imagine what you can do with this life and your possibilites thats out there like maybe look for plane tickets for vacation somewhere or get a job or anything instead of WASTING AWAY every single day n every second.its crazy to think that my gf will spend countless hours on it and wants to know every lil thing thats on my page.she honestly loves stalking peoples pages.its honestly crazy and that reminds me people who leave their life stories as their status's n all honestly get annoying real quick and dont have much of a social life or wants the world to know what their doing or anything like that.sorry just wanted to speak my mind about my gf and how it bothers me
- Andy, crystal lake usa, 21/10/2009 10:57
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Few days ago, I received a 'friendship' request by a female without any message. I sent her a message explaining that I add only people who I know in real life and I asked her to tell me something about her. I got an angry response back wishing me 'a nice life'. I didn't respond. And few hours later, she sent me another message noting how I don't have many friends. And this is not the first time I got such request. Usually they just don't respond at all.
- Phil, Tel Aviv, 21/10/2009 10:57
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This is a doctor blaming the substance for peoples addiction and not the people itself. You don't blame alcohol for substance abuse, you blame the user. Internet relations make it easier to socialize for those lacking the confrontational ability to socialize. I'm sorry but 60 million users don't log in to feel insecure.
- H. Lee, Toronto, Canada., 21/10/2009 10:57
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What a crock. And is the shrink's name REALLY Smallwood? Sounds like he might have a few insecurity issues himself.
- Dt, Vienna, Austria, 21/10/2009 10:57
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Hello. Thanks for checking out my comment. Would you like to be my friend on facebook?
- Adrian Collingwood, Lucca, Italy, 21/10/2009 10:57
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