This is an edited transcript of the prank call made to Andrew Sachs by Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross:

Andrew Sachs's answering machine: "Sorry I can't answer at the moment, but please call again or leave a message. Speak after the tone, thank you."

RB: "Hello Andrew Sachs, this is Russell Brand. I am a great appreciator of your work over the decades. You're meant to be on my show now mate, I don't know why you're not answering the phone, it's a bit difficult I'm here with Jonathan Ross."

JR: "Hello Andrew..."

RB: "That's Jonathan Ross speaking now. Anyway, we understand... we can do the interview to his answerphone."

(The two presenters exchange banter)

JR: "He f****d your granddaughter!" (laughter)... I'm sorry I apologise...

Andrew I apologise... I got excited, what can I say. It just came out."

RB: "Andrew Sachs, I did not do nothing with Georgina oh no I've revealed I know her name! Oh no it's a disaster."

JR: "... How could I carry that round in my head like a big brain blister all day? I had to pop it and let the pressure out... Like it's really bothered us though, he's the poor man sitting at home sobbing over his answer machine... If he's like most people of a certain age he's probably got a picture of his grandchildren when they're young right by the phone. So while he's listening to the messages he's looking at a picture of her about nine on a swing."

RB: "She was on a swing when I met her. Oh no!"

JR: "And probably enjoyed her."

RB: "Let's ring back Andrew Sachs... What if he answers this time?"

(Sachs's answering machine message comes on for a second time.)

RB: Andrew, this is Russell Brand. I'm so sorry about the last message. It was part of the radio show. It was a mistake."

JR: "It was just a joke. If there is any truth in that, I don't know. "

RB: "OK, look the truth is, Andrew I'm ringing you to ask if I can marry, that's right, marry your granddaughter, Georgina the granddaughter."

JR: "And I'd like to be a page boy."

RB: He wants to be a page boy. We're going to have a Fawlty Towers-themed wedding."

JR: "No, no, you've spoiled it..."

RB: "No I'm sorry I'll do anything. I wore a condom. Put the phone down."

JR: "Who'd have thought two people like us could possibly have made the situation worse."

RB: "How could we with all our skills, our social skills, our talents, our experiences."

JR: "Our intentions were pure."

RB: "You know the only way we can make this better don't you?"

JR: "Let's phone him again. Let's leave a nice message."

(The answering machine message plays again).

JR: (as the message plays): "She was bent over the couch..."

RB (singing): "I'd like to apologise for these terrible attacks, Andrew Sachs. I said some things I didn't of oughta, like I had sex with your granddaughter."

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