Tonight:
8°c
Back in the mists of 2007BC (Before Crunch), the issue of who had been voted off Strictly/The X Factor was hardly one of national importance. But now that everyone (even the everyones who live in Chelsea and went to Oxbridge and used to go to the opera) stays in on Saturday night, all people seem to talk about is John Sergeant.
Not me, I hasten to add. Oh no: I'm too busy talking about Laura White. White, a lantern-jawed, Winehouse-haired Northerner with a voice vaguely evoking Bonnie Tyler's, provoked outcry by being voted off The X Factor, despite many viewers thinking she was the next Celine Dion. Rather than put the episode out of their minds and switch over to watch Match of the Day, 50,000 people signed a petition urging Ofcom to investigate whether the voting was rigged. Of course the voting wasn't rigged. What troubles me is that there are 50,000 people in the country still living under the illusion that TV talent shows are actually about finding talent. Like, duh!
Over in our house it's X Factor all the way (my poor husband reads Euripides during the really boring parts), ergo I've only watched Strictly once. But it was enough to twig that John Sergeant is to dancing what Jordan is to style, with a technique that could best be described as "cutlery falling out of a drawer".
Does it matter? Not a bit. What Sergeant's enduring popularity indicates is that we are all getting sick of that cabal of contestants who use the show to resuscitate their stalled careers. We don't want talent: we want entertainment, and it is far funnier to watch cutlery falling out of a drawer than the toned, tanned, try-hard determination of some erstwhile model. Strictly's judges might like to think they are presiding over a serious talent contest but the programme is far more in the tradition of those rubbish Saturday night Seventies entertainment shows. Like a warm hug on a cold night, it's silly, wholesome and fun for all the family.
By contrast, The X Factor is an exercise in catharsis. Chez Craik, Saturday nights are spent releasing all the pent-up frustrations of the week in a pastime best described as Ranting At The Telly. We rant at Dannii's eye make-up. We rant at Louis' song choice. And we rant at Cheryl's pathetic attempts to do sympathy (my husband is possibly the only man in Britain who doesn't even like her, much less fancy her. Although, hmm, maybe he doth protest too much). When I'm not ranting at the telly, I'm text-ranting to my friends, all of whom are bellowing at their tellies, too.
I blame the credit crunch. If we had more money, we might be able to buy ourselves a life. Then again, why bother? Our current one is so much fun - and free. Diana to win!
Reader views (6)
Yeah. What Nicky said.
- Karli, Tottenham, London
Quirky in a really obvious "look at me, aren't I quirky!" way, yes. But she can't actually sing - she does that thing of getting the sound from the back of her throat that Cilla used to do when she had to hit a big note - most people can manage that. Every song she has croaked out has sounded exactly the same. I can't imagine the "laryngitis" (which conveniently arrived in Mariah Carey week) would have made her sound any worse - it would probably have done us all a favour if they'd let her sing with it.
- Nicky, London
Yeah. What Jeremy said.
- Kate, London, UK
Diana sounds brilliant...she is quirky and different from the bland pool of karaoke wannabes
- Jen, London
Very funny, but how can you want Diana to win? She sounds like Cilla Black on crack. I find her painful to listen to (and watch come to that) and can only assume from the ever-more astonishing positive critiques of her every week that Simon & co are labouring under the misapprehension that she is somehow edgy/trendy. Being as old and out of touch as Simon & co, I checked this with my 17 and 15 year old rock/indie fan daughters and they inform me that she is no such thing.
- Nicky, London
I watched my first episode of Strictly Come Dancing last Saturday; I have not seen any of X Factor. I only starting watching this week after last Sundays amusing injustice and the following wave of outrage in the press. It was great
I hated the show though. The British public voting for pointless celebrities having had to endure nearly 90 minutes of Bruce (Good Game, Good Game,) Forsyth and more desperate has-beens than you normally get at a D-listers funeral. My wife has promised to call me down next week for the voting on the Sunday so i can be spared all the needless nonsense that pads out the show, the show itself.
It is right that we show these loud mouthed self- agranded judges who and what we want. How dare they patronise us all by inviting a fat ugly old man on to the show to compete against young sports stars and models and marking him without any kind of handicap system. If they want us to treat the dancing seriously then have a serious dancing competition - not this pap.
vote for John
- Jeremy, London, SW1
