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I am recently on maternity leave, my daughter is 7 months old, i applied for flexible working around my husband so we would not have to put baby in nursery but my application got turned down, they basically want me working full time and there is no way im leaving my baby in a nursery so im going to look for a part time home care joab around my husband part time to help out with bills ect and ill go without things as long as im with my baby. I think the age of 3 is plenty for them to go to a play group few mornings a week but women have babies then dump them in a nursery and say they cant afford to not work so why have them in the first place, i think if you can get a happy balance between work and baby and money and knowing your child is not left with a stranger. I feel so strongly about not putting baby in a nursery that im willing to work every other weekend around my husband, its only a temporary measure and would rather that than my child left with youngsters on the minimum wage. I never went to a nursery when i was little and im sociable so its a load of rubbhish, women just use it as an excuse because they want there cake and eat it.

- becky, leicestershire, 02/08/2011 22:48
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As a mother, I cannot afford to use nurseries - even if I would, I wouldn't dream of handing over my tiny baby to teenage girls in the min wage, why have a baby in the first place? Children under 3 years old need their Mothers, no matter what the 'cost' to your lifestyle. This obsession with Mothers now demanding 'me time' and 'stimulating conversation' as well as claiming they cannot afford not to work is total rubbish. If you can afford a nursery, you can afford to stay at home and bring up your own children (shock, horror!) This is yet again a reflection of our, me, me me, possession obsessed society, putting work and status above family life. When I became a Mum, we live on baked beans, and very, very little money, but who cares? I take my son out every day, teach him manners and respect, take him on free,educational outings, read to him every night, and do all the things a Mother is supposed to do. I have worked all my life, and have the rest of my life to work, but for the first three years of a childs life, give up your holidays/cars and nights out,be a proper Mother to your children, and GET OVER IT.

- Andrea, Hampshire, UK, 01/03/2009 11:03
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I am a care assistant,working hard going from house to house getting our elderly and frail up washed, dressed, fed and anything else that needs to be done to keep them comfy and safe in their own homes.our work includes lunches(hoisting people onto commodes)teas and put to beds. in all weathers. unsocial hours,bank holidays. all we get paid for is the small amount of time we are allowed to spend in each clients home.which is very little.some weeks I have had as little as 13 hours work. but I usually earn about £11,000 a year if lucky .its a struggle to pay my bills, I have no kids,but even if i did i would not expect the rest of the workers of the country to pay for me to stay home. i would rather any taxes i pay went on decent child care than allow healthy fit women to stay home on benefits .give our frail and elderly more time and attention. thats where the money should be spent

- Jo, sussex, 12/12/2008 10:19
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Children under 3 need nobody but their mother. They don't need many kids around, they don't need to learn numbers and colours, only thing they need is to be in an emotionally safe and stable environment to be able to develop all those skills which will help them to enjoy and be interested in others and our surroundings around age of 3.
I can not see the point of having a child if he/she has to be in a nursery all day from age 1-2...I think parents are responsible to rise an emotionally healty child; it is not only about feeding and clothing them!!
I am a childcare worker and I wish the parents could see their too young children in a nursery all day. It is not about having fun: all day is about waiting for the moment when their parents arrive to pick them up...

- Edina, Surbiton, 12/12/2008 09:47
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I'm sure staying at home can lead to more problems then being in a school enviroment and mixing and learning with other children. More PC horse crap.

- Brandon Thomas, London UK, 12/12/2008 03:34
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my daughter is a single mother of 3, sons 4 yrs and 3 yrs in Jan 2009, and 20 mth old daughter. Wanting to do something that will benefit others and her children, she is doing an Access to learning for nursing and midwifery for 2 1/2 days per week and since September we have all seen a vast improvement in their confidence by interaction with others.

She lives in SW London and at present has been offered full time care for her youngest 2 children for 3 days in Clapham but she can find nowhere that can take her eldest son for longer than 2 1/2 hrs. He is the one who needs the most interaction and teaching and is at an age where he will take in so much.

Mr Brown urges people back to work but how can she manage? she is doing the right thing by getting off income support.

- Victoria Mowat, London, 11/12/2008 17:21
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Nouna, in third world countries the whole family helps to look after a child. Haven't you heard the saying: 'It takes a village to raise a child?' They're not just with the mother 24/7. Women in poor countries can't afford not to work, they don't have that luxury. Also, you'll have to overcome your fear of letting your child be looked after by strangers when he or she starts school. If you stifle a child and don't encourage them to mix, they won't thank you, and are more likely to rebel against you when they are older - remember, you don't own your child, he or she has a life of their own to lead. It's ridiculous to live with an irrational fear of paedophiles (note spelling!) The sad reality is that in most cases of child abuse the culprit is a family member (usually a parent), not a nursery worker.

- Lw, London, 11/12/2008 15:44
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The best thing the government could do for the future of this country would be to make sure that every mother of a child under five was financially able to stay at home to look after the child, if that was what the mother wanted. This is because all studies show that this is best for the children, who grow up brighter, happier, more confident, and better-behaved.

Certain rules should apply. This should be restricted to the first three children, so as not to advantage irresponsible "breeders". Mothers found neglecting their children should lose the financial assistance. But forcing mothers to dump their children in nurseries in order to work is precisely the wrong thing to do.

PS I'm single and child-less, and I know paying for this would hit me in my pocket one way or another. It's still the right thing to do.

- Nigel, London, 11/12/2008 14:41
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"All-day nurseries can lead to behavioural problems"
I think the key word in that sentence is "CAN", not "WILL". Now, let's remove the word "nurseries" and replace it with "bad parenting", which of the two is a bigger problem at the moment do you think?

- Bob, Cheam, 11/12/2008 14:29
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I think it is too simplistic to say that once your children are at school there is no excuse not to return to work. I work 3 days a week and have one child at nursery, one at school. I have found it considerably harder working since my eldest has been at school. There are the 13 weeks school holidays to fit into your four weeks annual leave for a start. Then there are the school activities that take place during working hours that you may be forced to miss and the homework and general support at home that is needed once children are at school. I am very lucky both to work part time and to have a flexible employer so I can make things work for me so that the children still come first. Many people are not in that fortunate position. Financially, unless you are able to work school hours during term time only there are still childcare costs to pay during the holidays and breakfast clubs and after-school clubs to finance. I still choose to work, though more and more these days I wonder whether not working would be the better option in many ways. Those people who do make the decision not to work should be respected for that decision and their role in bringing up their children should be valued.

- Yvonne Gailey, London, UK, 11/12/2008 13:40
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If you find the right childcare then children can benefit enormously from being in a nursery. It is up to the parents to then strike the right balance. Most of us these days have little option than to use nurseries and so long as one is self sacrificing enough to give up most remnants of a social life in favour of the children things will be fine. Nouna states that a child has to be with its mother until the age of seven yet the law states that at the age of five a child must be in full time education. Once children start the reception year of school there are no acceptable excuses to avoid work and benefits should be immediatley stopped.

- Jane Bewick, London, 11/12/2008 12:50
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Here we go again. Someone stating the bloody obvious! In an ideal world all Mothers should stay at home and look after their children. However, as its now so expensive to live in the UK women have no choice but have to return to work to help pay the mortgage/bills, etc. We have a nursery next to where I work and if you should see the stupidity of the so called'responsible' nursery staff's dealings with the kids, you would never leave your kids with them for fear of an accident waiting to happen. As they take them from 3 months old, (sounds horrowing doesn't it) my philosophy is if you can't afford to bring a child up yourself without dumping it into a nursery, then don't have a baby!

- Sue, Orpington, Kent, 11/12/2008 12:47
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It's just crazy to force mothers of young children back into work - I mean, I'd expect the mother of a 16 year old perhaps to consider it, but young children, let alone babies, need their mothers. It's great for a child to got to a nursery for a few hours a week, but not so a mother can go back to work full-time if she doesn't want to. This totally demeans the work done by mothers who stay at home to nurture their children themselves. What it says is that the Government thinks it will raise your child better than you will yourself and that producing the next generation (future tax payers, don't forget) is a personal luxury rather than an essential part of normal Society: very Brave New World - very Communist . . . very Dangerous!

- Roz, Chamonix, France, 11/12/2008 12:39
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Would it not be sensible to allow parents to claim the money they are given for childcare in such a way that they could choose how to spend it? Our family credit payments are only made when if we place our child at a nursery, but what if we had the option to pay that money (£30-40 per day) to his grandmother, who is retired. She would welcome the extra income and we would be acting in a way that UNICEF recommends. I realise the social aspect of his development may be affected but from what I've seen I don't think two year old boys do that much socialising anyway.

- Cp, York, UK, 11/12/2008 12:26
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Judging by recent revelations kids will be safer than with their parents.

- Lorraine, London, 11/12/2008 11:42
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nurseries are bad news to mother/child bond..thats why in third world countries one finds children/parents more loving to each other,becouse of a lack of nurseries..a child has to be with mother,not babysitter,till the age of seven.
no one on this planet is going to force me to put my children with strangers..even if i have to beg on the streets,not with all these stories of accidents in nurseries and abuses,and peadophiles.

- Nouna, london, 11/12/2008 10:38
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