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The Prime Minister's New Year's resolution was to take up running again - and, frankly, he'll need every turn of speed he can get to keep ahead of his own spectacular contradictions. In an interview published at the weekend, Brown was still trying to lay the blame for his own preposterous lack of economic foresight on the bankers.
We might expect better when it comes to proposals for dealing with the looming recession, rather than the ragbag of measures the Prime Minister has come up with - but this would be a mistake. Brown's continuing denial about his own past culpability is directly related to his inability to see current realities clearly - let alone the future.
No amount of browbeating is going to get the banks lending again, because they still haven't been made to "fess up" to the true extent of the toxic debt that remains on their books. As for stimulating consumer demand, the roll call of retailers going belly-up already this year is bitter proof that we aren't prepared to save Brown's bacon on the never-never.
The bizarre thing is that while the Prime Minister carries on offering us the sugary solutions born of the neo-liberal boom years, he's also trying to slip us the bitter pill of a hefty state-subsidised investment package. This week he has trumpeted a programme of public works, with government investment in school repairs, new rail links, hospital projects and super-fast broadband. There's also mood music about eco-friendly projects such as electric cars, wind and wave power.
The stated aim is saving 100,000 jobs - but this figure seems paltry when the scale of job losses is likely to be in the millions. It's insulting being asked to applaud our beneficent leader for sorting out schools and hospitals, when he's been banging on for years now about the amount of money he's poured into them. Then there's the eco-friendly stuff: frankly, the PM could do more for the environment at a stroke by getting off the fence over the third Heathrow runway and saying a resolute "no" to it.
We need a proper and effective programme of public works during what's going to be a long and deep recession. Roosevelt's New Deal gave the States hydroelectric power and bridges - obvious social capital that its citizens enjoy to this day. Brown should offer nothing less: he should renationalise the railways and embark on an aggressive programme to provide Britain with a proper high-speed train network. This would provide jobs for all skill levels, as well as much needed national esprit de corps.
Or, if he wanted to get still more real, the Prime Minister could help out the hard-hit construction industry - and all those people who can't get mortgages - by announcing a major expansion in public housing.
The Prime Minister is departing on a round-Britain tour to reconnect with the voters. My hunch is that even if he's managed to outpace his own demons, he'll find them waiting for him everywhere he goes.
Leona's life is an open book
There has been muttering at the impertinence of X Factor winning chanteuse Leona Lewis penning her autobiography at the age of 23 — but I say: why not? Lewis has had a fascinating life thus far, hoiking herself up from obscurity by her vocal cords, while the chances are that the balance of her years won't be nearly as exciting, consisting merely of the same tedious go-round of gigs, after-show parties and St Barts holidays as any other pop star.
As the great cartoonist and sage John Glashan once said: “Anyone can be a success, but it takes real guts to be a failure.”
Let them eat Corrigan
To Richard Corrigan's new — eponymous — restaurant, which occupies the premises vacated by Chez Nico, hard by the Gloucester Hotel on Park Lane. On a quiet Monday evening, mine host was in ebullient form, speaking a tad disparagingly about his predecessor's “25 quid side salads”. Certainly, Corrigan's own pricing is far more reasonable, while the cooking itself — from an amuse bouche of deep-fried olives, through oysters and pheasant, to a chocolate brownie richer than the Sultan of Brunei — was uniformly delicious and beautifully presented.
It's said that the Irish chef began life in a County Meath farmhouse unequipped with electricity. Should the recession get too deep he may end up there. My view is that instead of bailing out the bankers so that they can amuse their ugly bouches, the Government should subsidise ordinary folk to eat at Corrigan's — like most of the finer things in life, it's wasted on the rich.
Reader views (9)
Here's a sample of the latest views published.
Astute analysis from Will but also good to hear the 'free-market anarchist' view from Josh, Doncaster. Take your pick.
- Richard, Brighton
Despite the opinion of various lefties, this is not a crisis of neo-liberalism, or capitalism. It is a crisis of corporatism and state intervention in the markets. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are perfect examples of corporations holding too much lobbying power. When will you Marxists understand this?
- Josh, Doncaster
Yes - on the money, as usual. Although last time I checked the government had committed funding for a massive public housing expansion. 3 million homes in the south east by 2020. with 50% affordable homes provision.
- Donna, London
Am always impressed by Will Self's analysis. Didn't realise he was so savvy economically. Good piece.
- James Kilfoy, Reading, UK
Will,
I'm surprised to see you use the word recession. The recession started in America in Q4 2007, the depression began in Q4 2008. We are about six months behind the States so our depression is now starting. If you want some real hot economic insight I highly recommend Mishs's Global Economic Trend Analysis. He is the best 'free' analyst on the web! Keep it real!!!
- Get Shorty, Bognor
I didn't know Will was a Tory, as I only occasionally read this dreadful rag. This could have been written by Tory Central Office - perhaps it was?
- Howard, Bridport United Kingdom
So Gordo wants to print more money... The cracks are starting to show as the country falls apart, I hope he falls down one of the cracks him and his labour cronies created.
- May Jones, London
Well said about renationalising railway, it is long overdue. Any party advocating this course of action would be a vote winner.
- Darren, london
Gordon would be out of his depth in a puddle,unfortunately he thinks he is the prudent saviour of the universe and believes his own propoganda and he is not to blame for anything(always somebody else is at fault never Gordon).
- Nigel, wimbledon
