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CHERYL Cole has a 25-inch waist. Small, isn't it? I bet you'd like a waist that small. She used to have a 29-inch waist, apparently, but was so horrified by its girth that she went on a strict diet. Victoria Beckham, at 23 inches, is so tiny that she can fit into the jeans of a seven-year-old child. A seven-year-old! Imagine! But Dita Von Teese trumps them all: sporting a 21-inch waist normally, with the help of a corset it shrinks to 16 inches.
While waist size has not quite become the new porn, it is certainly the new national obsession. The Nineties were all about breasts: how big, how pert and how real they should be. Here in the more chaste Noughties, breasts seem curiously vulgar. And so it has come to pass that a small waist has become the holy grail of female perfection. Or, put more familiarly, another stick for women to beat themselves with.
For wouldn't you just know it, but this holy grail of slim-waistedness coincides perfectly with an era in which women's waists are becoming chunkier than ever. According to anthropologist Elizabeth Cashdan, hormones are to blame: the body of your average working woman, riddled with stress, releases androgens, a type of hormone that includes testosterone. This testosterone is pumped out in response to stress, and is supposed to help make our bodies physically stronger. Unfortunately, it also makes our bodies physically thicker, resulting in a more "straight up and down" look that is the antithesis of the classically feminine hourglass figure - epitomised by the likes of Kelly Brook.
Nor does alcohol help, either: the sugars contained therein make women more prone than ever to gaining weight around their tummies. Look no further than Amy Winehouse and Courtney Love for evidence of the female beer belly.
Little wonder that when the smock came into fashion in late 2005, there wasn't a thick-waisted woman in London who didn't raise her eyes to the sky and thank the god of fashion for his beneficence. Finally, here was a genuine wardrobe solution, a tonic amid all the drainpipes and miniskirts the catwalk usually throws up. Wallowing in this disincentive to watch our waistlines, though, they spread to accommodate the smock's diaphanous folds.
Here, at the beginning of 2009, our waists still haven't quite recovered. Body-conscious clothing may have been in fashion for several seasons now, but while pencil skirts and tucked-in blouses should be a godsend for any working woman, the irony is that our bodies are least suited to them. Cheryl Cole might have balked at hers, but for many women, even a 29-inch waist is an unattainable dream. A 25-inch one? Would that we could be so elegantly waisted.
Reader views (7)
I'm 5'7.3 tall and I have a 24 inch waist. I don't wear a corset, look wierd or anything. I have 35 inch chest and hips and 19inch thighs. I'm perfectly fine...I'm jus a natural hourglass, despite being quite slim.
I'll admit its a pain for buying clothes, trying to fit 32 D boobs in a t shirt that also hugs my waist, but I havent done anything to 'get' my waist. Its just the way it is.
My mother blames it on being the product of a skinny short english family and a tall curvy italian one. -shrugs-
- Anonymous, London, England, 19/02/2010 09:53
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I don't think a 25inch waist is that bad, especially if its natural or you're about Cheryl Cole's height under 5ft 3. You have to take into account all the body measurements; bust/waist/hips. Someone could have a tiny waist and big hips/bust.
I'm 6ft 1 about 165lbs and have a 28inch waist, 40inch hips. I'm slim/normal build (expect the over average height), its natural to me and I don't diet. Its clearly not natural for Cheryl Cole and Victoria Beckham as we have seen them shrink over the years!!
Lets remember its important to be a health size for your height/age. Its not good to be too thin or too big, both extremes have health implication!!
- Jennifer, London, UK, 18/01/2010 02:13
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How short are these woman? What are their body types? What are their body types? Endomorph, ectomorph, Mesomorph? Everyone is a combination of these three and with that are height I'm sure these women are naturally smaller and and shorter. I'm 5 feet 8 inches tall and 170 pounds and as long as my curves look good to me I'm happy.
- Cassandra, Pittsburgh, PA US, 18/01/2010 01:13
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Yet another example of something that anyone with half a brain would not give a rat's ass about. I'll leave it to others to obsess about this- I have the economy, a dying loved one, and my general health to think of instead.
- Melinda, Westminster, California, USA, 18/01/2010 01:13
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Dita remains all woman whereas Mrs Beckham looks about as feminine as Skeletor.
- Squiz, Islington, 18/01/2010 01:13
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there is no way her waist gets down to 16 inches. thats smaller than my arm
- Patrick, ISngapore, 18/01/2010 01:13
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each to their own but personally, fitting into a 7yr olds jeans, isn't what i think a woman should look like. Whilst Dita von Whatsit is pehaps some men's fantasies I personally think she looks quite ill.
- Nl, london, 18/01/2010 01:13
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