Morning:
8°c
The future is scary, especially for working women, who are losing jobs faster than men in the recession. This January - always the bleakest month of the year - feels more desolate than any I have experienced. What we don't need is more bad news from fatuous survey researchers. They tell us that women are their loveliest when they are 32 - and then presumably there is only a long, painful quiver down the hill into the valley of decay. Another set of experts brought more sombre tidings still: a quarter of middle-aged women are in "crisis", suffering from depression because they expected more from life and were disappointed.
Never dismiss the seriousness of depression - I suffer from it periodically. Ageism and sexism are proven barriers to female ambition. But I still say our lives are full of possibilities that have never existed in any other age in this country. She may be 91 but Diana Athill's autobiography, Somewhere Towards the End, is outselling younger writers. Many of us feel our best is still to come. Dames Helen Mirren and Judi Dench are symbols of enduring talent; age has not withered the spirits of Ann Widdecombe or Clare Short. Kate Moss will never glow like the gorgeous Moira Stuart.
Women are more knowing, in control, confident and interesting as they season. As the inimitable Fay Weldon (77) writes: "You have stopped wasting time and emotion fancying men who don't fancy you you can walk confidently in your high heels. You can engage in a proper conversation; you're not just the notch on the bedpost you were at 20."
Of course there are men - themselves middle- aged - who idiotically lurch towards ever-younger girlies with tight bodies. But many more are happy to grow old gracefully with their partners. Desire between them remains bright and hot. In my twenties and thirties I felt too plump, too short to be worth much. Now I dress in beautiful, sometimes glam clothes because I like how I look and what I managed to do with my life.
Coping with today's troubles is not easy for older women. However, if you are healthy, you can feel fulfilled and attractive. We owe it to ourselves not to let doomsters tell us otherwise. We owe it to the memories of the young women who died before they were lucky enough to hit middle age. Look! The glass is half full - with excellent old wine.
Reader views (3)
I turned 70 last spring. This absolutely has been the best year of my life. I can hardly wait to enjoy the overflow into next year. I have begun to live my life for me. I eat the food I like, cooked the way I like it. I take several naps a day and stay up all night if I want to. I have dressed power suit style for such a long time ugh. Now since I have lost 40 lbs and go to the gym daily I wear jeans and t-shirts. I leave my children and grandchildren totally alone so they may enjoy their lives. I have determined that the world will not come to an end if a friend drops in and finds me in my nightclothes in the afternoon watching my favorite movie for the umpteenth time..I wish I had turned 70 much sooner. My husband of 52 years is a little confused by all this, but he will get over it, maybe.
- Faye Fletcher Jones, Blackshear, GA..USA, 16/02/2009 22:24
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At fifty I learnt to use a word processer and started a sucessful flower arranging business, at sixty five [in spite of three major life changing operations] I studied and obtained a BA degree at seventy. Writing is my latest development and I have found that there is more to life than the pain of passion.
- Anna, York, England, 16/02/2009 18:23
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You are right, Yasmin. At the age of 90 I think the agonies suffered due to an inconsistent lover is nothing compared with losing the internet for 24 hours!
- Georgette Behar, London NW1, England, 29/01/2009 16:41
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