• Dr Rowan Williams: For society's sake, we must change
• Charities slam boys and girls' Big Brother

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Its got nothing to do with working or not working. There are bad parents who stay at home full time and good parents who go out to work.
If a child is loved and secure at home and given appropriate boundaries then chances are that they will turn out well adjusted. Agree that society in general has become about "me, me, me" but don't think this is about working, stay at home divide at all.

- Anne-Marie, London, 03/02/2009 10:26
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Dear G.A Gilmartin. The way you think is the main reason why women fight so much to have a career and why there are less and less children being born in Europe. Unless you believe all women are conceived by the Holy Ghost, you should know that men also elect to have children and they are their responsibility too. Women’s intelligence is proven to be as good or better than that of men (see A level results, university grades etc..) so unless we are treated as intelligent professional people this is only going to get worse. Many women would rather look after their kids but they don’t want to depend on the kids’ father for money. You would be surprised how many mums have to ask for money every time they need something. Make it mandatory for men give half of their salary to their wives up to the child’s 3rd birthday (nannies can easily earn £20,000 a year and they won't even cook or clean for you). We should also have free full time school from 3 or even earlier… kids love to be with other kids.

- Anna, London, 03/02/2009 10:17
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The same issues are here. From a working mothers perspective (my children are 4 and 6), I have elected to work part time to ensure I see as much as my children as possible. However I do agree, women are expected to contribute to the economy, the cost of living has dictated this, if nothing else. Gvt here has run a double edged policy, little investment in childcare and no paid mat leave. And the workplace is difficult, here there are still some views regarding mothers and their ability to contribute. And you try and find a job that allows you to work from 9.30 to 3.30 - Australian school hours - in an ideal world!

- Annabelle, Australia, 03/02/2009 01:15
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Does Sweden have the same problem? It has the highest number of working mothers in all of Europe because of its excellent childcare facilities.

Mothers are to blame for going back to work???
How about- Fathers are to blame for not working part-time so that they can spend more time with the children that they are equally responsible for.

- K Knox, London, 03/02/2009 00:56
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everyone can enjoy life with a lot less than they think they need...
this tech age is fine in moderation..the media tells parents they are depriving their children and themselves if they do not have X number of goodies..
scale back ..on everything...teach values...respect..

- Global, Canada, 02/02/2009 23:06
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ridiculous- students dont have any ambition any guidance .many of them are from large families. some were born because their singke mother was getting plenty of money from social security. in many homes and in most schoos there's total lack of discipline, self discipline , respect for rules and regulations and for teachers, because they're not taught to be responsible and to have an ambition.
teachers dont have time to improve the results of their students, they do too much policing - blame exaggeration of studdents' rights, erosion of parents' as well as teachers' rights. blame a strange type of teacher training too. overdoing of political correctness have also taken their toll on educating students to become responsible people. and lastly arrogance and protectionism and greed of the system - which explains your dirty immoral media and uninterested parents- 2 full generations of them-

- Beljamine, uk, 02/02/2009 21:36
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No the report must have it all wrong, we have had the liberal left decade, the social engineering, the limitless creation of jobsworths, appeasement of those who shout loudest and a police force that swears every officer reads the Guardian. This can't be happening unless its those industrious. law abiding, tax payers who are producing all the feral children.Yeh, blame them.

- Frank, Dorchester Dorset, 02/02/2009 17:34
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I have no problem with women working but feel once children are on the scene women must show obligation to rearing that child until the age of 5 and then only return to work between school hours. If you elect to have children you have an obligation to bring them up - men don't give birth - women do and they should be made responsible for their own children. Leaving any child with unknown people is a disgrace.

- G.A.Gilmartin, Bristol, 02/02/2009 15:36
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if parents don't work and claim benefit they are looked down on and are seen as a burden on society- but if parents particularly mothers do work they are putting their children's development at risk- how can we win. There's also the issue of child poverty and children living in poverty- working and being finacially independant is the responsable , moral thing to do- lets not forget about setting examples to our children to achieve and be good role models.

- Maylene Catchpole, brockley, 02/02/2009 15:23
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The reason is simple. The high cost of living (particularly housing) forces both parents to work and this reduces the time they can spend with their children. Gordon Brown and his 125% mortgages lies at the center of the problem.

- Harvey, Barbados, 02/02/2009 15:07
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I totally agree with this report,children only grow up as we have brought them up.So called grownups set them the most appalling example of selfishness and greed,we are obsessed with wealth creation to the exclusion of all else,are governments both past and present only talk about the economy and the balance sheet.We have sold are souls for fools gold and are children are suffering because of it,and we will pay for it,its a terrible future we plow for humanity.

- Kev, London-UK, 02/02/2009 14:36
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It makes me so angry that 'women returning to work early' is getting bad press. I had to return to work full-time when both my first son and then my second son were just 4 months. This was because I had to financially. I'm lucky in that I do have a loving husband and father around who is also in full time work but I am the bread winner. I'm working as hard as I do for the good of my family, to pay the mortgage, bills, etc not just because I feel like it. Going back to work after my first son completely broke my heart. And then there's the astronomical childcare costs but that's another matter...

- Nancy, Orpington, Kent, 02/02/2009 13:43
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in answer to beth in Dorset,yes it is better for children to have two happy parents but the system we have at the moment does not allow for both parents to be equal after seperation. the family law courts are biased towards the mother in most cases. and yes this is the 21,st century and you are right men are equally responsible for looking after children and in the most part they recognise this. but if they are not even given the opportunity how are they to become these new men everyone speaks of . children lose contact in courts on a daily basis not only with fathers but grandparents and extended family . how can this ever be right [ unless there are GENUINE CONCERNS FOR CHILDRENS WELLBEING]WENEED TO RECOGNISE CHILDREN ARE BEING DENIED THERE HUMAN RIGHTS EVERY DAY IN OUR FAMILY LAW COURTS.NO WONDER WE HAVE A BROKEN SOCIETY. our children are the unhappiest children in the western world it,s time the goverments woke up to this and admit what they are doing is not working in our childrens favour. also that social services need to be answerable to someone not self governed ,they are a law unto themselves ,there eye is too much on self preservation and promotion through the ranks .they make life changing decisions about children and then dont even have the decency to go back and check it,s actually working. and god forbid they are actually asked to own up to their mistakes .

- Tammy, manchester, 02/02/2009 13:33
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George Rolph - So what do you suggest? That we return to a society in which women are subjugated and deprived of our rights? I find it extremely worrying to think that there are still people with views like yours living in this country in 2009.

Forget your free Internet book. Go and watch the film 'The Magdalene Sisters'.

- Frida, Thame, UK, 02/02/2009 13:00
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This is what happens when you pander to the ridiculously soft lefty liberal style of Government that we have for the last decade.

This style government is anything but soft lefty and liberal. Forcing Mother's into work when they should be spending time with their children until school age. Pandering to the corporations and their aggressive and and unethical advertising which is aimed at the under twelves, which needlessly to say impacts negatively upon them. This government has taken off from where the Thatcher government has left off and allowed our society to continue further down the road towards consumerism, selfishness and greed. That is softy,lefty liberalism?
Then we have a school system which is target and league table obsessed and children are put under a lot of unnecessary pressure to achieve high exam results and this destroys their childhood. By introducing SATS and putting a such heavy burden on children is what I would call an authoritarian and fascist government "not" softy lefty liberal.Come on Stu who are you trying to kid?

- Gereht Grollop, Leighton Buzzard England, 02/02/2009 12:56
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It is rather strange that to drive a car or own a shotgun I need the approprite licence whereas people can raise a child when they are totally unsuitable or incompetent. Two major changes are needed. First people should need a licence to raise children and secondly social services should remove children from incompetent parents sooner rather than later.

- Michael, London, 02/02/2009 12:53
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Dads and mums who defend their children against the police even though there is clear CCTV evidence that they broke the law are really the worst.

- Keith Price, Luton, England, 02/02/2009 12:51
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Mike from Epworth - I agree.

This survey raises some very relevant issues and I do not deny that something needs to be done to help our kids. But I am worried by the way women's liberation and the adoption of secularism appear to be receiving a lot of the blame for the mess we are now in. I grew up in a religious two-parent family (in the 1990s) and yet still managed to turn out a very unhappy person. Would we rather things went back to the way they were in 1950s Ireland?

The term 'feminism' has become horribly corrupted and misunderstood. To support the liberation of women is not to support videogame violence, underage binge drinking or the abundance of sexual content available to children on the Internet. I am sure that the women who campaigned in the early 20th century for the right to vote, the right to financial freedom and the right to establish ownership of their own bodies would be as disgusted by the state of today's society as most of us are. Our children need help but religious right-wing attitudes are not the solution.

- Louisa, Aylesbury, UK, 02/02/2009 12:49
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It has been annoying me ever since JK Rowling publicly donated £1m to the labour party in a vain attempt to boost Crash Gordons popularity. She claimed that children will fair better under Labour than any other party.
This and numerous other reports indicate differently and it was either a donation looking for an honourary title or to boost that fool Browns popularity - make him down with the kids.
Spin, spin, spin and I am disapointed the Rowling lowered herself to Labours lying levels.

- James Price, London, 02/02/2009 12:49
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The answer is Steiner, Steiner, Steiner .

For some time the Government has been slowly adopting Steiner/Waldorf principles into it's early years education - ( with no acknowledgement of course) but needs to go the whole hog , acknowledge the value of Steiner education in raising valuable members of society and appoint Steiner practitioners to implement the educational philosophy not just in schools but provide guidance for parenting as well. ONe of the key tenets is that "Waldorf kindergartens and lower grades discourage exposure to media influences such as television, computers and recorded music, as they believe these to be harmful to cognitive development in the early years"

Curriculum of the Waldorf schools

- Helene Reinbow, london england, 02/02/2009 12:40
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I quite agree with this report. I was the child of a single mother and I always, always missed my father and still do. My mother did her best but it was extremely hard work for her and I saw more of child minders (however good they were not my family and I was not theirs) than I did of her. All my friends who were brought up in the same way want to marry and not to replicate their mother's lives.

- Sophia, London UK, 02/02/2009 12:00
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I can't believe this study says that 'broken families' adds to children being unhappy. Yes, I understand that a divorce can be an extremely stressful time for both children and parents, however in the long-run wouldn't it be better for both sets of people if the parents split up? Wouldn't you rather have two happy parents who are separated than two unhappy who are together, argueing all the time but giving you a 'stable' upbringing. I'm fifteen and my Mum left my Dad when I was 2. I believe it is the best thing she could have done for us. Also, saying 'Mothers' are returning to work too soon. Maybe they are, but what about 'Fathers'? Shouldn't they be expected to stay at home just as much as the Mother's should? We're in the 21st century, society needs to realise that men and women generally have equal rights and women shouldn't be the ones expected to stay home everyday. Just my opinion but it is infuriating.

- Beth, Dorset, England, 02/02/2009 11:59
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I have worked in the media for years, I am not a religious man at all but I have noticed for a long while now how much advertising revolves around a 'deadly sin'. Being greedy or selfish with a product is promoted or even stealing it from a friend, laziness and shallowness are also promoted - it is assumed we are intelligent enough to see the point of the ad and WE are, but this advertising method has now been around long enough that teenagers have never seen anything else without the grounding to understand it's only for promotional reasons. We have built our selfish society by promoting it to increase sales.

- Stuart Cross, Preston, 02/02/2009 11:58
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I couldn't agree more with the findings of this report - our children are not allowed to BE children these days, and any of us who choose to be 'stay at home' mums are sneered at by wider society - looked upon as 'opting out' of work or not having a valid 'job' or contribution to society. I would argue that parenting well and giving serious time and thought to this role should be more valued. As a family, we chose to have lower financial income and therefore less 'luxuries' to ensure we gave as much effort as possible to raising well-rounded and cared for children. We were penalised for this socially and financially - i could have received money from the government to place my kids in nursery for long days without mum and dad, but was not offered this financial assistance to stay at home and BE the 'nusery' myself. We have struggled financially, but if i had my time over again, i would make the same choice.

- Val Bolam, Newcastle upon Tyne UK, 02/02/2009 11:50
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This all began when we allowed ourselves to break the patriarchal contract and move towards a left wing matriarchary. There is not one single matriarchy ever known that has not gone out of control in the same way leaving indolent, feckless fathers behind them because these men have no stake in their families. The result is broken childrens lives. Its time to give feminism the boot! Read the free Internet book, "The Garbage Generation" for more info.

- George Rolph, London UK, 02/02/2009 11:50
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The authorities must sort out children's homes. They seem to get worse and worse. I gather, in Germany, they arrange the same carer for a child forced into a children's home for the whole of their time there. Why can't we do the same? Are carers badly paid, therefore quality poor? We have a Minister for Children - do something
Yes, parents need help but, mothers particularly are made to feel guilty if they don't have a job. Surely being a decent parent is one of the most important jobs there is?

- Brenda Abrahams, Bedford England, 02/02/2009 11:37
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What this report fails to identify is that progressive governments have made it more and more difficult for parents to bring children up in a financially secure environment. They pushed Sunday opening which take many people away from their kids at weekends. Women have been made to feel inadequate if they choose motherhood as an option, quite often I'll add by industry and other women.
The whole drive has been about making money, which isn't hard to understand when prices have risen and pensions have diminished in the last decade. It' much easier for latch key kids to come home and stare at TV or monitor until someone gets home and cooks a ready meal.

Agencies must start to make people understand that there is more to life than money and consumerism.

- Sandy, London, 02/02/2009 11:36
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"(Women's) financial independence directly contributes to family break-up". They say this as if it's a bad thing? And look, it's not the fact that Mom and Dad split up which turns kids bad. Some Moms and Dads are just awful people who happen to have children. They might have always had bad attitudes, terrible tempers, no education, no manners, no interest in anything good or useful, and no redeeming qualities -- so their would-be partners consequently leave them (and sometimes so would their kids, if they had the choice!). This is the kind of parent which makes kids unhappy and turns them bad regardless of whether or not there's a second parent in the house. In fact I know just as many 'bad kids' who come from 2-parent homes as I do 'bad kids' who come from 1-parent homes. And frankly it's obvious why the kids turned bad -- well, obvious to everyone aside from the parents themselves.

- Lisa, London, 02/02/2009 11:35
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This is what happens when you pander to the ridiculously soft lefty liberal style of Government that we have for the last decade.

FACT.

- Stu, Beckton, 02/02/2009 11:21
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I have 4 kids aged 1-4 and I have dedicated myself to them full time to enable them to grow the way I did as I come from a farming family.

I worked hard to get a career and when I had my children I knew it was best all round to be full time with them. The schools here in France are longer days but they believe in having a Wednesday off which creates time for family work life balance.

Running a business here helps with flexibility and I understand most folk have to pay the bills but for the sake of a couple-few years I would rather budget tightly and raise kids full time until school.

It is hard for mums to make a choice now with the way life is going regarding competition and I am glad I am in the countryside away from it as I find it too difficult to handle.

Good luck to all parents out there it is a tough world!

- Emily Ealing, Percy France, 02/02/2009 11:18
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Just another attack on modern secular society by a CHRISTIAN organisation. Can their conclusions be considered unbiased?

- Mike, Epworth, UK, 02/02/2009 10:58
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I completely agree. These thoughts have been swirling around in my own head ever since recent reports about children being killed by their own parents. The roots of these tragedies are spelled out so clearly in this article/report.

I hope it's taken seriously and that we can find a way to reform our broken children. They are the future.

- Madge, Manchester, England, 02/02/2009 10:57
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Haven't a large enough group of people warned society and the decision makers that a better standard of parenting will help heal a large percent of society's ills?
The Children's Society are only now stepping up to the microphone? I suppose better late...
For the person on the street, listen out to how parents interact with their children, I'm constantly shocked at how much aggression (both passive and outright threatening) there is between children and their parents.
Obviously this type of cancerous behaviour creates the broken young adults we have destroying society at street level.

- Simon Caleb, London, England, 02/02/2009 10:38
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