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My novelist mother was insane to kick me out because of drugs
Benedict Moore-Bridger3 Mar 2009
THE son of novelist Julie Myerson launched a scathing attack on his mother today calling her "insane" for labelling him a drug addict in her new book.
Jake Myerson, 20, was thrown out of his home two years ago for apparently becoming addicted to cannabis and becoming violent and abusive.
She and his father, playwright and journalist Jonathan Myerson, were worried about the influence on their two younger children during the past five years and insisted he mend his behaviour or move out.
They changed the locks on the front door of their south London home and told the then 18-year-old he was no longer welcome.
Details of the family break-up are documented in Myerson's new book The Lost Child, due out this spring.
However, the version of events has been contradicted by her son, who has accused the Man Booker Prize-nominated author of exploiting his personal life to sell more copies.
The teenager, who first moved into a squat before securing a flat in Camberwell, said his parents had completely over-reacted.
He told the Evening Standard: "I did see a copy of the book and I said, 'is there any way to stop you publishing this?' and she said 'no', and has taken that as some sort of tacit agreement. It is definitely not an agreement. It is not as bad as that at all.
"Basically, my parents are very naive and got caught up in the whole US anti-drugs thing. There is a very big difference between smoking a spliff and being a drug addict. They are very naive people and slightly insane. They over-reacted. They are very emotional people and I refuse to have anything to do with them."
The teenager, who describes himself as a "libertarian", is now working in the music industry. He left Graveney School in Tooting last year.
He told of being "completely broke and having holes in my shoes" after being thrown out of home, initially staying with friends as he tried to readjust to his new life.
He said that the first time he spoke to his parents in more than a year was at the weekend after a story about him and the new book appeared in a Sunday newspaper.
"I have not talked to them for a year until Sunday," he said. "The article does not make me incredibly happy. That, plus my mother's madness, means it all gets quite exciting.
"If what I do is any different to 40 per cent of the nation does, then put me on a stake and burn me."
Myerson, 48, has described the period of turmoil as "the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to us".
In justifying why she had decided to publicise the family's most intimate problems, she said: "When we were in our darkest, loneliest place, it would have been helpful to have read a book like this. I still suspect that a lot of parents who haven't had the experience of drugs will find it hard to read that part and to sympathise with us."
The Lost Child was originally planned to have been a study of Mary Yelloly, a girl who died of tuberculosis in the 1820s.
But, encouraged by her husband Jonathan, who is also a Wimbledon magistrate, it became interwoven with details about their own personal family difficulties. The couple have two younger teenage children, Chloe and Raphael.
The novelist, who frequently appears on the panel of BBC2's Newsnight Review, rose to prominence with Sleepwalking in 1994, a semi-autobiographical study of an unhappy childhood, and The Touch in 1996. Her novel Something Might Happen was nominated for the Man Booker Prize in 2003.
Reader views (27)
This period of his life, coloured in lurid detail by his own mother (and also by his father in a recent Guardian article), will now hang around Jake like a bad smell - that should fix him up for good!
- Stricks, Melbourne, Australia, 12/03/2009 02:32
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Julie Myerson sold her teenage son's troubles and difficulties to the public and ignored his rights to privacy. She has forever pinned him down to a troubled phase in his young life, and labelled him as 'trouble'. Suppose he changed, and tried develop a responsible professional career? Who would employ him knowing his private past mistakes are public knowledge?
The public labelling and scrutiny which she has influced upon him is likely to make it harder for him to change. Instead it's probably going to be easier for him to hold firmly onto the 'rebel' tag. Silly, selfish, thoughtless woman.
- Andie, London, 08/03/2009 10:47
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While I agree that a teenage son in the first throes of manhood can be a very difficult beast indeed, is this ( smoking cannabis)the real reason for this family's falling out or is it what I suspect this silly woman's loss of control over a once doting and obediant son.
- -Sam,Worcs.., kidderminster,g.b., 04/03/2009 14:47
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I hope Myerson reads these comments; but I suppose it will have little impression otherwise she might have had a concience in the first place. She probably believes all publicity is good publicity, I do hope nobody buys her book but unfortunately they possibly will because she's fallen into the self indulgent genre of literature (literature???) of self obsessed felling sorry for ones self- that some buy. Pity she didn't feel sorry for her son and help him instead of rejecting him. I wonder what her parents think of her???
- Fred, london, 04/03/2009 11:57
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Myerson's son wasn't an adult when she kicked him out - he was SIXTEEN. Nor was he a heroin addict. He smoked cannabis, which is nasty stuff that can cause mental problems, but not nasty enough to justify this kind of behaviour. In any case, a responsible reaction would have been to book him into a drug clinic. Throwing him out into the street is horrifying.
Instead, she has chosen to profit by his suffering (and no doubt theirs) by writing a book about it. He was a child when thrown out; he still has the right to a private life.
- Anna, London, UK, 04/03/2009 10:35
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I agree with her approach. Her son was becoming impossible to live with She had to consider the interests of her other children as well as her own safety. I recently found out that my own brother would become psychotic after smoking cannabis and once smashed my elderly parents to a pulp. They always protected him. I never knew.
- John, london, 04/03/2009 09:54
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I am totally on the mother's side. He's an adult and must be responsible for his own actions. I was thrown out of home at 17 for doing a lot less than that. Why on earth should they risk the younger children being led astray by his antics?
- Sarah Bradshaw, Enfield, Middx, 04/03/2009 09:19
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They were right to chuck him out. A willful dissolute yob. It's called tough love, and a very brave thing to do. Everything the son has done since is clear evidence that it was the right thing to do. I applaud and greatly admire them.
- Sandy, Ealing, UK, 04/03/2009 08:32
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Another case of inadequate parents not raising a kid to be a responsible citizen, a drug free individual, and one who now seems destined for a miserable life which is likely to adversely affect others he associates with..End result will be yet more strain on the resources of the social services, justice system and the tax payer.
- Rj, Notts, 04/03/2009 00:44
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His "violent and abusive" behaviour seems to have been the real issue. Also he's 20, and not a child. It can't have been easy throwing him out, but sometimes parents need to make difficult decisions to protect the family. I admire her for not taking the easy option of ignoring or playing down his behaviour - instead she chose to face up to the effects his behaviour was having on her other children and dealt with it.
- John, London, 03/03/2009 23:21
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It's difficult to comment because his parents have said one thing and he has said something else. I think it's a shame about the rift between them both. They obviously had a great relationship in the past. I'm sure they love him and he loves them too so hopefully they can both resolve issues that have developed over the last couple of years. Teenagers are often difficult people to communicate with. I know, I am a mother of two daughters who are now in their twenties. I hope that they can resolve their problems and come to a solution beneficial to them both that is satisfactory and restores the love they have for each other.
- Rose, Chingford |Uk, 03/03/2009 22:54
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It is so sad that Jake's parents could only deal with their wayward teenager by kicking him out. So many kids dabble with drugs, I did myself, and if my mother had reacted the way Jake's has, the consequences may have been dire. Fortunately she never gave up on me. I'm a mother myself now and cannot begin to imagine giving up on my son. How could you, as a loving parent? It would seem there is something very wrong with Mr and Mrs Myserson. Good luck Jake.
- Francis, London, 03/03/2009 21:10
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Julie Myerson seems very happy to beneft financially from writing about her son; unfortunately she hasn't been able to support him with any finncial assistance but left it to others who have obviously given him the love and care a teenager requires while growing up. I agree with the other contribution made; both parents are extremeley callous. How a mother can relinquish her love for a child she has brought into the world is beyond comprehension. I hope she does regret it but I somehow doubt that, otherwise she wouldn't have considered it in the first place, no doubt her heartless husband egged her on. I feel sorry for the other two siblings, the sooner they leave home the better for them.Jake Myerson is not a drug addict but a delightful young man.
- Susan, london, 03/03/2009 19:14
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I wonder: How many cocktails and bottles of wine do these sainted parents consume in a week? Children learn from their parents.....I'm just saying. Alcohol IS ALSO a drug.
- Abigail, Boston, MA, USA, 03/03/2009 17:24
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"Writing and justifying it in the newspapers is even worse."
Ummm, if you'd actually read the article you might have noticed the following:
"THE son of novelist Julie Myerson launched a scathing attack on his mother today"
There was another bit about first trying to get him to mend his ways. Writing about it? Why not! She is an author, and it's HER life too, not just his. "Teen mistakes"? Mistakes have consequences - all just a part of life's learning experiences.
- Rogan, Irving, 03/03/2009 16:22
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It's her home, and he should live by her rules. I would not allow my adult children to live with me if they were taking drugs. I would also be disappointed if they turned into stoners as I have tried to bring them up to believe that they are better than that and should not feel they have to do something just because everyone else is doing it (or claiming to). I'm not sure I'd air my dirty laundry in a book, though.
- Lindsay, london, UK, 03/03/2009 15:33
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I know a woman who did this to her son and hasn't heard from him in 12 years. Her regret is palpable. She can't even remember why she did it, but her tears are real enough.
- Neil M., london uk,, 03/03/2009 15:13
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"Most teenagers try out soft drugs"
- Dave, London
Since when has being 20 ever counted as teens? He's an adult and will be treated like one. If you feel you are old enough to act like a thug and not do as you are asked to in someone else's home, then you will have to live with the consequences of your actions. Welcome to adulthood.
- Frank, Home Counties, England., 03/03/2009 14:29
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a shameful breach of family confidentiality and trust by this mother, whatever the son may have done.
- C Davies, london sw15, 03/03/2009 14:04
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I'm on the son's side. Most teenagers try out soft drugs - Some go through a hard time. Cannabis is dangerous. But throwing him out is an extreme reaction. Writing and justifying it in the newspapers is even worse. I think most people hearing this story would feel very sorry for the son.
- Dave, London, 03/03/2009 12:54
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I don't think there's a right or wrong regarding the upbringing/discipline of an 18 year old son but as for writing about the gory details so soon after the event does seem a step too far. He's not exactly a heroin addict who's broken up the family beyond all repair! Fine, write about it when everyone is grown-up and the hurt is past but this chap is still struggling with growing up and becoming an adult. Including his problems into a book, where he has absolutely no right of reply is disgraceful and very mean spirited. She may also live to regret it if he doesn't forgive her.
- Isabel, Woking, 03/03/2009 12:06
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Who would want parents like this? I bet their other children live in constant fear of being thrown out of the family home and another book published detailing their teenage rebellions and mistakes.
- David Walton, London, 03/03/2009 11:50
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"It's not me that's the problem, it's her and everyone else" is a summary of his argument. Says it all really, sadly.
- Gc, London, 03/03/2009 11:48
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What is it with this constant stream of "my troubled childhood/someone else's troubled childhood" literature?? It is almost a genre in its own right now. Sometimes it is just more dignified (although admittedly, far less lucrative) to just keep things to oneself. By all means, get help, but books like this seem so sadly symptomatic of the very modern way of pimping everything about oneself and ones family to anyone who'll pay for it.
- Helen, London, UK, 03/03/2009 11:46
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As a parent, you want what's best for your child. I've got a huge familly and have seen a few of the younger generations get caught up in problem habits and behaviours, but the way to help them forward if with a strong and loving family. Teenagers are always going to push boundaries and break rules. I think the way this woman treated her child was callous, irresponsible and completely reprehensible. Her action probably did far greater damage to the family but traumatizing the younger siblings and putting the eldest son at all kinds of risk by taking away the security of the family home.
- D. Smith, London, 03/03/2009 11:25
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Cannabis does affect the brain and can change one's personality. When someone takes cannabis, they might not be the personality that they once were: they might become a stranger. Who wants a stranger in the house all the time? Also, if one is prepared to break the law with cannabis, it is only a small step to other crimes.
- John, London, 03/03/2009 11:20
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It must be remembered that whilst we live under our parent's roof we live under their rules. If this young man was inacapable of doing that then it could be argued that he did indeed have a problem.
- Jane Bewick, London, 03/03/2009 10:22
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