Afternoon:
10°c
Until this week I ignored Harriet Harman's existence. Because every time I saw her, I found something out about her that made me like her less. But desperate times call for desperate measures. And after years of steering clear of Harman, I'm coming round to thinking she should be our leader.
This is not (completely) crazy talk. As a child of the Thatcher era, I don't recommend female leadership for the hell of it. But we urgently need a fresh start — and a female Prime Minister would underline that.
Luckily Harman agrees with me and already seems to be positioning herself accordingly. Some Labour figures believe she could make her move as soon as June, should Labour perform disastrously in the European parliamentary elections.
This can only be a good thing. Look at the Brown-Obama summit: a confident and debonair US next to the cowed, crumpled UK. Yet the only reason America can hold its head high is because they have a “change candidate” to boost their national morale. We need the same. In fact we are in such desperate straits politically and economically that we need to be able to consider anything and everything. This includes the radical and the completely unthinkable. Which means Harman.
Can you imagine the relief if we had a woman in charge? For a start, the distraction factor would revive the economy instantly. No one would talk about the recession any more. Instead they would spend hours discussing whether she looks attractive for her age or just like another old hag, whether she has bingo wings or over-muscly upper arms, whether she wears enough Jaeger or is a bit up herself and championing Roland Mouret.
We would be so busy tearing her apart that everyone would forget there had ever been an economic downturn. People would start spending again and financial equilibrium would be miraculously restored. Simple! Surely this is reason alone to vote Harman?
Seriously, in light of the ongoing meltdown her good points are multiplying scarily quickly. First — and this can't be stressed enough — she spoke out against Sir Fred Goodwin's pension. I know this was a sickeningly obvious populist appeal and that she probably can't actually do anything about it. I don't care. She said something straightforward — which is more than anyone else in government has done.
Secondly, she herself is the one making the move towards leadership, much to some people's disgust. This is exactly what we need now — people who are not afraid to stick their necks out. If Harman can hold her nerve and be seen to speak her mind, voters will respect her for it in the long term. There is only one thing missing — and it's the thing Thatcher tackled almost as soon as she too had the idea to put herself forward as leader: voice coaching. I do hope Harman's people have already got someone on speed-dial. Lose the finger-wagging tone, Harriet, and I'm all yours.
Madge's cause for (age) concern
Is it a good idea to date someone younger than you? Madonna obviously thinks so. The latest chiselled specimen, Jesus Luz, a model (surprise!), is 28 years her junior. This is a risky business. And not because it's unseemly for a 50-year-old woman to have it away with a 22-year-old man. No. That I heartily approve of. The problem is that the less mature person always has the upper hand because no matter what happens they are always younger. And they are, basically, using the older person as a point of negative comparison.
How do I know this cruel truth? Because I am 10 years younger than my husband and never fail to remind him of this. You need to trade up a few decades, Madge. Only then do you start to feel younger.
Laughs for lady and the tramp
I am not a fan of modern art. So I should have hated the Altermodern show at Tate Britain, on until 26 April. It probably helped that I saw a celebrity on my visit. (“What is that old tramp doing here?” I mouthed, incredulous that someone so filthy and unkempt had gained entrance. “That's Benicio Del Toro,” my friend replied.)
Mostly, though, I just loved the scale of the thing: a gigantic mushroom cloud made out of saucepans, a ceiling-sized pointy nose. These actually made me laugh out loud with delight. Finally I “get” modern art: it's just supposed to be a bit of fun.
Benicio seemed to be having a laugh too. Not that you could really tell behind his great big dirty tramp's beard.
* A Michael Jackson gig at the spectactular O2 Arena — easily London's best concert venue — should appeal to someone of my advanced years (35). I was 14 when Bad was released in 1987 (fave track: Smooth Criminal) and one year I wept when a pair of sequined gloves failed to appear in my Christmas stocking.
So will I be hastening to secure my £75 ticket for this summer's 30-date tour? I will not. Leaving aside the whole appalling freak show aspect, since the late Eighties too much has happened musically which can never be forgiven. Who wants to risk potential exposure to Earth Song or Heal the World? I'd rather cling to my happy pre-surgery memories — and my old vinyl collection.
Reader views (4)
Harperson has already alienated 50% of the population through her man hating, so-called "Equalities Bill" which plans to discriminate against most men, removing the legal right to challenge this politically correct abuse. We won't forget. It's part of ZanuLabours Chavez moment before they are resigned to the dustbin of history.
Political correct bullies like Harperson are yesterday's politicians as her Party and government enter their twilight years and disappear into peerages, chat shows, boardrooms and quangos and "I'm a Celebrity...". Her time is up. Thankfully.
The writer shows a distinct and worrying lack of awareness about the political mood resonating around the country and within the Labour party itself.
Perhaps she should stick to just commenting on Her Madge and the passing phase of celebrity shtick.
- Ricky, Hackney, London, 05/03/2009 16:14
Report abuse
How about Hattie Hayridge or Hattie Jakes? They're both comediennes as well.
- The Real Bob, Cheam, 05/03/2009 15:21
Report abuse
The last thing this country needs is another woman in charge. Look at the last one for heavens sake. I have had several female bosses and they always over-exert their authority in a hormone driven haze.
- Darren, london, 05/03/2009 14:59
Report abuse
Surely we dont have a leader because shes a woman - I'm not sure how that is a qualification to be a leader, usually we go along the lines of the best person for the job - I think it shows that there is no stand out candidate at the moment, their is no clear political identity between the major parties as they morph into the same entity. Like our glorious leader, British politics is bloated and out of touch with public opinion. This will start to improve when the politicians starts to take accountability for their mistakes. Of course this is something we need to do as a nation as a whole, but it needs to start at the top.
- Richard, London, 05/03/2009 12:12
Report abuse
