Morning:
9°c
One of my first jobs after leaving university was to work for the feminist publisher Carmen Callil. It was an invaluable introduction to office life. I was her editorial assistant (er, manservant) and was dispatched on a series of increasingly bizarre errands (from parking her car to buying litter trays for her beloved cats). So imagine my delight when I recently heard there was to be a reunion of all her old Chatto & Windus staff.
It is a distinguished roll call of alumni: Andrew Motion, Zoë Heller, Francis Spufford, Jenny Uglow, Ben Macintyre and, er, moi. Except I never got my invite. When a mutual friend raised the subject, Carmen replied that I was the one Chattovian she was not inviting. Snubbed! But why? Even my old Chatto colleague Jeremy Lewis, who has written very entertainingly (and very disobligingly) about Carmen in his memoirs, has been asked along. He called her a termagant and worse.
Callil was much admired by her authors, for whom she secured huge advances. But she sometimes came to physical blows with her own colleagues. When Zoë Heller said she was leaving her job, Carmen boxed her round the ears.
Maybe my contribution to the Chatto annals was deemed insufficiently illustrious. Once Callil secretly monitored all our telephone calls in order to reduce the bill. She made the startling discovery that I had spent 69 minutes listening to the speaking clock. Our relationship never recovered.
* Some years ago Auberon Waugh put an orphan's curse on me for divulging the identity of an old Oxford girlfriend. I had no idea what the curse entailed. Nor did Bron, it transpired, when I later asked him. Today I want to put an orphan's blessing on Walter Meierjohann, the Young Vic's associate director. He has directed two spellbinding plays in recent months - In the Red and Brown Water and Kafka's Monkey. For the former, he transformed the stage into an ankle-deep pool; for the latter he transformed Kathryn Hunter into an ape. Kafka's Monkey is shortly going on tour to Australia and Athens. Catch it while you can.
* Viggo Mortensen and Jason Isaacs were on stage at the Curzon Mayfair this week to talk about their new film Good, an adaptation of CP Taylor's stage play. Mortensen explained that he'd agreed to star in the film because he had once seen it on stage at the Donmar Warehouse when he was in London for a screen test. It was a challenging film without any redemption and had taken eight years to get funding. At least there is some form of redemption for his co-star Jodie Whittaker after her ill-advised foray in St Trinian's. The star of Venus gets to play a luscious Rhine maiden.
