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Porn in the home - it's the nation's dirty secret

Will Self
01.04.09

One thing that seems to have been lost in the media blizzard surrounding the Home Secretary's dodgy expenses claims is the nature of the "entertainment" that was charged by Richard Timney - Jacqui Smith's husband - to the taxpayers' account. A whole slew of commentators - including feminists one might have expected to be in the van - have backed off from outright accusations of sexual immorality. There seems to be a large dose of "what you do in the privacy of your own home" in circulation.

I suspect that for women - whatever their attitude towards Smith as a politician - something feels disloyal about harping on about her husband's use of pornography. Few women like the idea of their partner paying to view women performing sexual acts, whether in the privacy of their own homes or at a so-called lap-dancing club. But more than that, the sheer ubiquity of pornography in contemporary Britain makes it extremely unlikely that the male partners of any potential critics haven't also done a Timney. To get at Smith and her husband involves picking away at their own private sores.

It's become increasingly acceptable to be an apologist for porn in this country. Right and Left-wing libertarians make common cause with an entire slew of tawdry interest groups - from lads' mags to lingerie salespeople - to promote the idea that such material is only "adult entertainment". Of course, the group who are most interested in porn being consumed are those who seek to profit from it, and as the Timney case exposes, this includes all the providers of cable television - when it comes to porn, Richard Branson is no virgin, and nor is Rupert Murdoch.

Of course, there's nothing innocuous about pornography, and with a flick of a button you can access material in your own home that quite clearly involves the exploitation of vulnerable women - and men. I know this because like most men I've taken a look. I'm not proud of it, but nor do I believe in pretending to complacent ignorance. Let's face the facts: the commercial imperative has, in the past 20 years, swelled the trickle of top-shelf mags and dodgy VHS tapes into a raging torrent of grisly filth.

I don't believe that I'm a joyless puritan because I think this wrong. Pornography is definitely distinct from the erotic, and the criterion remains the same as it was at the time of the Chatterley trial: the erotic has an artistic merit that makes it something more than a mere stimulus, while the pornographic is nothing but that. The erotic involves men and women at an emotional level; the pornographic renders them nothing but purveyors and consumers of commodified sex.

Perhaps Jacqui Smith should use this humiliation as a spur with which to widen her campaign against the traffickers of women, to include one against "mainstream" pornographers? However, I doubt she's up for it: this is one vice that not only begins in the home but which has spread through the body politic.

I'm a convert to Mr Sheen

I have to say the acting genius of Michael Sheen has rather eluded me - until now, that is. His two outings as Tony Blair left me underwhelmed; true, he got the oleaginous feel of our late helmsman spot on, but since Blair was a consummate actor himself, it was doubtful than anyone could ever play the part of Prime Minister better than him. As for Frost/Nixon, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't go there - a two-hander of utter repugnance.

Still, having seen The Damned United I think I may have to. Sheen's performance as the late Brian Clough is the jewel in the crown of this superb film, which deftly marries the beautiful game to the ugly social history of the 1970s. Clough may have been a loud-mouthed - and increasingly inebriated - bighead, but one thing he wasn't was a fool. Let's hope Sheen isn't going for a third term as a Blair impersonator and sticks with the real winners.

Instant coffee with attitude

You've got to hand it to Starbucks for sheer nerve. The widely derided chain, home of the gobstopping ultra-frothy peach essence frappuccino, having expanded faster than an asset bubble is now in danger of popping, so what better time to launch a new instant coffee? Outside Shepherd's Bush Tube the other evening sachets of Starbucks Via Ready Brew were being dispensed by PR girls, while a burly chap sporting a large canister on his back squirted hot plashes of this ersatz java into paper cups, then handed them to the passing multitude. “It's better than filter coffee!” he cried.

I took a swig: it was way worse than even Mellow Bird's. “Do you really think this is better than filter coffee?” I asked the genial lummox. “No,” he fired back, “I'm just paid to say that.” Ah, the spirit of cockney cynicism!

Reader views (6)

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I haven't read lately of ANY of the pay per view porn channels complaining about losing billions last quarter ? Unlike ITV and channel four / five they make millions. Now I wonder why that is. Could it possibly be that thousands of people pay to watch their channels ?????? You have a choice! I hate football but I don not sit through match of the day and then harp on about it! If you don't like it don't watch it! Its not rocket science!

- Duncan Walker, Ex Peckham now Thailand

I am not at all happy about the way men's magazines are marketed,I am too short to reach the top shelf,& too shy to ask for assistance.

- Ronald Whitten, chesterfield derbyshire

The trouble is that it is not in the privacy of your own home. Porn mags are in most newsagents and the front covers leave little to the imagination. Why should children have to subjected to this stuff ? A lot of small newsagents looking to make some profit have a disproportionate amount of porn and to cap it off they sell strong alcohol to drunks or children who would be refused service in a supermarket

- Jack Spratt, Richmond, England

Who has the time and privacy to spend hours downloading porn? Oh yeah, working from home writers and commentators.

- Chav, London

I don't think Timney's prediliction for "relaxing in a gentlemanly way" has been lost on any of us, Will. But the fact that he tried to get us all to finance it is far more important.

- Nobby Clark, Perth, Scotland

Maybe the time has come for a movement of artists against porn. Historically, "artists" have lined up on the pro-porn side of the aisle, in solidarity with DH Lawrence and James Joyce and Manet etc, great artists who were accused of being pornographic by the philistine majority. Now the philistine majority has become so addicted to pornography that wannabe serious artists cannot survive without pandering in some way to this vacuous fashion, much to the detriment of artistic progress and the mental health of vulnerable young artistes. The tables have turned. The leering public needs two fingers in the eye.

- Bloke, London


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