Morning:
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Some criticism has been levelled at the cruel and unusual spectacles of talent show TV, where vulnerable people are put under the immense strain of public judgement and mockery.
But that's enough about Prime Minister's Questions. Mr Brown looked groomed but grey. His fatigued eye bags are like twin bean bags.
With bits of the Cabinet dropping off daily, it wasn't exactly a hard start for David Cameron: “The PM's ability to command his Cabinet has simply disappeared.” Hard to argue with that one. The Tory leader sounded a bit overwhelmed by the sheer volume of negative material on offer.
When asked a series of direct and embarrassing questions, Gordon has his own useful strategy: namely to answer another question entirely.
“Under the Home Secretary we have seen crime come down...” Off he set on one of his spurious obituaries for a middling Home Secretary who sat, in her teacher specs, looking semi-detached.
“The Prime Minister is in denial,” diagnosed Mr Cameron. You can say that again, mate.
Mr Brown was off on another of his Beckettian non-sequiturs: “Some people need to take a step back.” Some people do indeed, and to a good few of his colleagues that someone is Mr B, so a degree of sickly mirth broke forth.
The noise levels rose and we were suddenly reminded of the presence of the zombie Speaker, a florid Michael Martin, who threatened “no more Prime Minister's Questions”. Mr Brown continued, busily defending his Chancellor in the present tense. Nobody believed him. “Labour is finished,” said Nick Clegg, with all the confidence of a man for whom Labour's low of 18 per cent of the vote is par for the course. Mr Clegg is jolly good now, but there's the teensy comical element of a very small David tying a knot around the floored Goliath that is Gordon.
Peter Tapsell asked one of his deceptively doddery questions about constitutions and Thomas Jefferson. “I'm grateful for the 300-year perspective”, said Gordon. That's the nearest thing to a joke in several weeks, apart from the tragi-comedy that is Westminster.
Reshuffle clue for betting sorts: Shaun Woodward is prominently on the Front Bench next to Mr Brown. Promotion? It's not like there's a shortage of vacancies.
