Tonight:
4°c
Dear Michelle,
A warm welcome to you and the girls. No doubt after being dragged round Westminster yesterday, Sasha and Malia will want to visit Hamley's and the Harry Potter set at Pinewood. The London Eye will also be on the agenda. But might I make a few suggestions that would give you a better picture of the REAL London?
Getting around
A bullet-proof, chauffeur-driven limousine is all very well, but to grasp why Londoners adopt a sort of grim, stoical mask, you should take a trip on the Tube. Ideally the Northern line, which retains much of its Victorian decor, most of it uncleaned for 100 years.
Better yet, go to any station on the Hammersmith and City line tonight and listen to the Anglo-Saxon language of commuters when the Tube strike goes ahead at 7pm. Be heartened, though. Thanks to the recession, most taxi drivers will now go south of the river. Not that you'll be staying there. Mind you...
Ethnic and cultural diversity
You can get a fair idea of the melting pot that is London even if you go no further than Chelsea or Westminster, but you'll miss out. If you want to aid your husband's rapprochement with the Muslim world, try a walkabout in Haringey or Tower Hamlets.
Visit Hackney and Stratford to marvel at the British ingenuity that will turn a building site into an Olympic Village in three years. If you're fed up with banquets, go for a curry in Southall, a bagel in Brick Lane or dim sum in Chinatown.
And a half-pint in a Soho pub shouldn't interfere with your upper-arm fitness regime too much.
Culture
You'd be doing your bit for Anglo-American relations if you turned out for today's opening of Sam Mendes' productions of The Cherry Orchard and The Winter's Tale at the Old Vic, with a transatlantic cast including our own Simon Russell Beale and your Ethan Hawke.
If you're thinking of checking out Tracey Emin's self-pleasuring new artworks at the White Cube in Mayfair, though, it might be best to leave the kids at home. For something not quite so near the, um, knuckle, the Summer Exhibition at the Royal Academy of Art has just opened and is excellent.
The O2 is a world-beating concert venue, and the trip there by boat takes you past most of London's fabulous riverside history - but I'd guess you don't want to be snapped at a Britney Spears gig.
Sport
You'll endear yourself to the capital if you choose a London football club (ideally not a glory team) to favour. Pick from Crystal Palace, QPR or, if you're feeling brave, Millwall.
You're lucky you're missing Wimbledon: Cliff Richard sometimes sings, and matches are called off. And our best player is another grumpy Scotsman.
Shopping
The girls will love Selfridges, now celebrating its centenary (and offering American delicacies in the food hall if you need some home comforts). Should you fancy some more furniture for the Oval Office, try Heal's.
Finally, try to get a photo of the girls with the Gherkin in the background. Everyone does these days. Have fun.
