Afternoon:
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I don't hold with this modern royalty. Cards on the table: I much prefer the traditional stuff.
Oh sure, go ahead, call me reactionary if you like, member of the elite chattering classes that you are, but I think you'll find that most people agree with me.
You want an example? There's this prince who lives not that far from Chelsea Barracks.
Very modern, he is; all nicely cut grey suits, simple lines, elegant shoes and pontificating.
He just doesn't fit with London, if you ask me.
See, London was built a long time ago, wasn't it? It's old. Really, really old.
Christopher Wren or someone like that did it, I think (it was definitely someone in a wig — I'm sure of that) so anything new in it is obviously completely wrong.
Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not against the idea of modern princes per se, it's just that I think they ought to fit in sympathetically with their surroundings, which are, as I think I might have said, really, really old.
Any princes that we're going to have about the place should at the very least be on a horse.
Come to that, some sort of a cape and crown wouldn't be too much to expect.
London is simply stuffed with castles and palaces and it just doesn't seem right to have their occupants wandering around in anything other than hose and stockings.
Yes, yes, I know all the counter-arguments — London is a vibrant, global beacon, a crucible of new cultural and artistic ideas, a living, breathing organism propelled forward on the waves of thought and innovation each new generation makes.
I am well aware that history is not static and that all things must pass, thank you very much for asking. B
But that doesn't negate the fact that I happen to think that all royalty after, oh, I don't know, let's say the beginning of the 20th century, has been offensive bunk which is just not in tune with how I see things and therefore how I feel everybody else sees — or at least ought to see — them.
Now, you may be surprised to learn that I am an unelected individual who has no training, credentials or track record in the subject which so irks me, but who has had the good fortune to be given a platform from which to make my views heard.
As such, it would of course be at best inappropriate and at worst undemocratic of me to exercise this opportunity.
Luckily — well, luckily for me — I've chosen to turn a blind eye to this fantastically obvious ethical point and carry on anyway in the hope that things will fall out the way I want them, and damn everyone else.
That seems perfectly reasonable to me. However if any of you have any issues with the idea, do feel free to direct them to St James's Palace.
Cheated again by Bernie Madoff
The victims of Bernie Madoff, multi-billion-dollar Ponzi schemer and owner of the most appropriate surname in the world of embezzlement, have been lobbying the trial judge for a sentence of 150 years.
Now, Mr Madoff is 71. That's quite old. I mean, if you look at it in dog years he's 497.
I don't suppose you benefit particularly from looking at it that way, I'm just trying to make the point that 150 years might be a bit of wishful thinking.
Does dying count as escaping? Will he be put on the FBI's Most Wanted list?
Will they dig him up and take him back to jail? Seems like a stupid idea, but it would certainly help them get their arrest rate up.
There's only one master builder
In the beginning, a creationist museum was Brought into being in Kentucky.
Last week it celebrated its second anniversary, which makes it a mere 6,011 years younger than the Earth itself, according to creationist calculations.
Personally, I've never understood those dates. I mean, the dinosaurs are millions of years old, so what were they doing all that time?
Floating about in space waiting for the Earth to be created?
Anyway, it's a lovely building apparently — a very intelligent design with lots of light.
On the first day of building the clients said, “Let there be light” and there was light.
And the architects divided the light from the darkness and the light they called “on” and the darkness they called “off”.
And they saw that it was good. Or at least, within the clients' brief.
You wouldn't want to be the one building it though, would you?
I mean, no one likes deadlines, but six days is beyond a joke.
Especially when you're working for clients who are never going to be persuaded that no one has done it that quickly before.
Keep in touch,Prime Minister
Try this thought experiment. You are a prime minister who has the personal popularity and credibility normally associated with whoever the public decides is the villain in the Big Brother house.
You failed to judge the public mood over the Gurkhas, MPs' expenses and whether you should try smiling or not.
You need to do something to rectify this situation. What should it be?
Was your answer “hold an inquiry into the Iraq war behind closed doors”? No, of course it wasn't, because you are not an idiot.
There is a line in an episode of The Thick of It in which the minister is described in the press as “disconnected to the point of autism”.
This, I think, would make an excellent epitaph for the Brown government.
Reader views (4)
All those people who think Charles is right about Chelsea Barracks are missing the point somewhat. What happens when you don't agree with him (as many millions of us don't)? Is that just hard luck? How will he ever be able to be king of all his people, when he speaks so divisively? What about when William takes the throne or, if something happens to him, Harry? Would you be happy for him to bring his influence to bear on issues that affect lives and jobs? If the royals cannot keep their end of the deal - namely that in return for untold wealth and privilege, they remain politically neutral - then they should go.
- Niki, London UK
I fully support Prince Charles. The City is blighted with carbuncles in the most innapropriate locations - none worse than City Hall.
- Jester-Chester Square, London, UK
The inquiry in to the Iraq war will be kept secret for fear of upsetting the Americans and their AIPAC lobby. RIP Sadamm.
T H Leeds
- Thomas Hayes, Leeds UK
Love to have Prince Charles comment on anything he likes He speaks thoughtfully, reflects a considerable upswell against Lord Roger;s type of design, particuarly those who would have had to live close by. Hated Lord Roger's proposals and consider him to have the inside track because of his friends in the Labour party.
- Ladywholunches, london
