Tonight:
2°c
Judge blames social anarchy on 'pass the partner' parents
Sri Carmichael, Consumer Affairs Reporter17 Jun 2009
Marriage should be championed by the Government to end Britain's "epidemic" of broken families, says a senior judge.
Mr Justice Coleridge accused parents who fail to commit to each other of causing "social anarchy" with their games of "pass the partner", which left children scarred for life.
The Family Division judge called on a national commission to be created to promote marriage as the "gold standard".
One in three marriages ends in divorce and a quarter of children live with a single parent.
Research shows children from broken homes are more likely to do badly at school, suffer poor health and become involved in crime, drugs, drinking and pregnancy.
In a strongly worded speech in Parliament last night, Sir Paul Coleridge, 60, said: "Although, superficially, these are private issues, they become matters of public concern when they are happening on such a huge scale and affect detrimentally such a significant proportion of the population.
"The reaffirmation of marriage as the gold standard would be a start."
The judge caused controversy in April last year with a hard-hitting speech when he warned of a "cancerous" meltdown of family relationships in Britain.
His latest comments are likely to be warmly welcomed by Conservative leader David Cameron, who has pledged to support marriage through the tax system.
The judge said that, while he favoured some rights for co-habiting couples, marriage was the best solution.
He condemned those who engaged in an "endless and futile quest for a perfect relationship" on the selfish premise they were being true to themselves and their needs.
He said: "The children are caught up in the conflict of their parents' unresolved relationship issues and it can leave them scarred, sometimes severely scarred, for life.
"Marriage is by no means perfect or the only way or only structure for living with a partner, but statistically it has proved to be the most enduring and, statistically, the children of such relationships perform the best."
Reader views (14)
You can blame who ever you want to blame if people do not stick to the prescribed rules for doing things it will go to pot. The Fact is divorce & remarriage is not even allowed Mathew 5v32, mark 10 v1-16, Luke 16v18, Malachi 12v16 etc and to the really diehards that insists that it is and cant be bothered to check the scriptures, DIVORCE Is a state of adultery rather than the grounds for a divorce!!!those who dont want to listen, Deuteronomy 24v4 says that a once married couple in their first marriages to each other then divorce and remarry others cannot go back to the 1st spouses if they found that they made a mistake as this according to God brings sin upon the land!!. True!
It is clear that people should obey God not only in terms of marriage and how to make it work but also that divorce is not an option live apart till you both cool off yeah but not divorce!!!People should also obey God in how to run the family. Women are to work around their children as their roles is primarily to look after the children till they are grown and then pursue any hot shot career that they may want to do when the children are not so dependent on them.[18 ? 21? Married children?]The roles of Grandmothers are not to look after their grandkids but the role of mothers is to look after their own children!!
Man are not to stay at home and look after children but to go and work and look after the wife and kids. These are the defined the roles that God has set.
- Elizabeth Obisanya, Thamesmead England, 19/06/2009 12:05
Report abuse
Personally I blame the pathetic justice system and ridiculous sentences that are handed down. There is no deterrent in giving somebody a supervision order.
That coupled with Labours social engineering and big brother approach in controlling every single aspect of an individuals life. When you do not have to think for yourself you take no responsibility for your life and the consequences of your own actions.
I'm a Labour supporter: Steal benefits, commit crime and blame society.
- Frank, Home Counties, England., 18/06/2009 09:27
Report abuse
TYPICAL JUDGE WIRED TO THE MOON, GROSSLY OVERPAID, DOES NOT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO WANT, AND STUGGLE TO FEED KIDS, 99% ALL BREAKDOWNS ARE CAUSED BY LACK OF MONEY WHO IS THIS GUY TO PREACH,
- James Fennessey, london, 17/06/2009 23:37
Report abuse
The Nu Labor experiment has failed, both economically and socially Britain is very much worse off now after Crash Gordon's ten years of trying and papers and targets.
- Jacqueline, Hampstead, London, 17/06/2009 19:33
Report abuse
Anyone who thinks this, or any other issue is a single genesis issue is a few slices short of a loaf.
Marriage breakdown is the victim of social collapse, not its cause. Social collapse is the result of governmental, both local and national - and now international with the EU interference - micromanagement of day to day lives - the dismantling of even nuclear family support through troubled times; encouragement of a society that is taught to look for 'entitlements', with people forgetting that society is owed to something in return. Teach people to be dependent and they will stop being net contributors to the fabric of society.
The trouble with the "I-know-whats-best-for-you" crowd is that they DON'T! They have ever-changing social theories that have to be adjusted constantly to try and meet everyday circumstances that would more often than not be resolved naturally if left to themselves.
Less is (often) better, a mantra that the conservatives seem to have forgotten to some extent. I hope they recall it somewhat after the next election. (I won't even bother suggesting it for the socialists and their like - they seldom seem to think in real-world terms).
- Rogan, Irving, 17/06/2009 19:12
Report abuse
It is a shame that the Family Courts, Social Workers and Cafcass officers then threaten the Marriage when not bothering to follow working practices. Families and relationships require support, but the system looks to divide and rule and pick on weakest, and believes best interest of children. How does this Judge then balance his views - when he spends time propping up a system 9 out of 10 times destroys families and marriages. In marriage breakdown acts to create conflict and encourages destruction of of Fathers and mothers caused to fight over Contact issues. Family courts are not places of justice and not designed to help families - but destroy the fabric allready needing help. There is something very wrong in family courts and the way Judges hear or consider there judgements, based upon commercial Solicitors making money viz acting in best interest of family or child. Perhaps the Fabric of Courts needs also to be considered, albeit agreeing marriage breakdown happens to often - how many parents are caused to walk away by frustration of a system that destroys or fails to listen.
- Stephen, Portsmouth, UK, 17/06/2009 14:25
Report abuse
Do not be silly "Tobin, Andover" the Nanny state only thinks it tells us what to think, we accept single parents, young mums and divorced couples.
The Judge is almost right. The religious side of marriage has gone for the mainstream. But the ethics of marriage are returning steadily. Have faith we will see sagacity and in time respect the sanctity of Marriage. All children need a marred man and wife to flourish. IVF and council waiting lists need adjusting to restore the value of marraige
- Ge, Kernow (Nation of), 17/06/2009 13:30
Report abuse
At lst common sense and this needed to be said a long time ago. Tobin - reading this I do not agree that his comments are insulting to those who co-habit, but are about the cost of breaking up, and the sometimes unrealistic expectations of some people in relationships. No matter what the "experts" say, divorce does have a significant and detremental effect on children, and parents frequently need to grow up.
- Jeremy E, Home Counties, 17/06/2009 13:26
Report abuse
Much is made in family law about the rights and needs of the child being "paramount" but this is as nothing when the freedom to divorce is placed against it. Couples should not kid themselves, divorce puts a dagger into their children's hearts.
- Bloke, London, 17/06/2009 13:15
Report abuse
Mr Justice Coleridge's comments (assuming they are accurately reported) are somewhat insulting. He assumes incorrectly that a couple must get the state's stamp of approval on their relationship in order to be "commited".
I'm not married to my partner, yet we've been together six years, own a house together and have an eight month old son, who is well looked after and provided for.
Nick, are you really advocating yet another "Nanny State" approach to a problem? I mean social workers are SO effective. The effect of this proposal would be to remove yet more responsibility from the individuals involved. You'll get statements like, "My marriage failed because I didn't get the right pre-marital counciling".
The "Nanny State" is part of the problem not the solution.
- Tobin, Andover, 17/06/2009 13:10
Report abuse
Nothing beats a judge sucking an egg.
The rich treat marriage as a hobby the poor as a form of snare. I do not think we need to examine this overly closely as it is 100% obvious to me we have become a selfish society.
You only have to consider why we do not look down on people who break up a relationships and families through one act of selfishness to find the source of the issue. Then we look at fathers for justice and see how the legal system hurts people who want to give but selfish women using children as weapons are allowed to get away with it. Marriage is being killed because we accept it is meaningless until we restore respect in the act of marriage this will continue
- Gary, brentwood, 17/06/2009 12:43
Report abuse
Quite why the judiciary are championing marriage while they have spent the last 30 years effectively destroying it is beyond me.
There is too much selfish behaviour in the 'because I'm worth it' society, and the financial incentive to get divorced is too much to resist for many women, especially when their behaviour is not taken account of. While a woman only has to commit for the duration of the marriage, a man has to commit financially for the rest of his life. This inequality has led to 70% of divorces being instigated by women because they can't get what they want in a marriage rather then grow up and act as a responsible member of a couple. Then throw in the fact that solicitors encourage mothers to use children as levers to extract more money, and encourage accusations of domestic violence to extract the maximum possible and a simple divorce becomes explosive.
There is nothing that the judiciary can do about this by trying to introduce 'shame' on the parties involved. People can quite happily live with 'shame' when there is a few hundred thousand quid to be fought over, and a solicitor (another part of the legal establishment) encouraging them to fight.
Judges are part of the adversarial system that is part of the problem, not part of the solution.
- George, London, 17/06/2009 11:57
Report abuse
Over 8 months ago Maria Miller MP [Shadow Minister for the Family] announced a policy to support and promote marriage at the Conservative Party Conference [30th September 2008]:
"Most young couples now get married in a civil ceremony. Unlike a church wedding, there is no tradition of pre-marriage preparation for couples marrying at a registry office. We want that to change. We want local registrars to start signposting couples to pre-marital education as a matter of routine. The Local Government Association who co-ordinate the role of wedding registrars, agree and I am pleased to say that they (are) putting forward this policy so that every young couple getting married will be made aware of the benefits they would get from relationship support at this critical point in their life. In the US, couples who have this type of pre-marriage education are a third less likely to divorce. We want this type of support for couples to be routine in Britain too."
The Conservatives control the majority of local councils. So why are they dragging their feet in implementing this policy?
- Nick Gulliford, Taunton UK, 17/06/2009 11:43
Report abuse
Unfortunately this is only one of the symptoms of a general shift to selfish behaviour that has taken place over the last 30 years. People think they are entitled to everything and responsible for nothing.
- Mark, London, 17/06/2009 10:23
Report abuse
