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It is certainly hard to have much sympathy for Kimberley Vlaminck.
The 18-year-old Belgian is now suing the tattoo artist who inked a shower of black stars over one side of her face: she says she only wanted three little ones but fell asleep.
What is more irritating, as summer weather uncovers acres of tattooed flesh sprawled across our parks, is the tired admonition that Ms Vlaminck's predicament is merely an extreme case of the regret felt by all those who bear tattoos.
You'll always regret it, the squares will tut-tut.
That's rubbish: I certainly don't regret mine. A black-and-red five-pointed star about three inches across, it has adorned my upper right arm for 15 years now.
Nominally a symbol of the anarcho-communism I then (sort of) espoused, its outline remains sharp but its colours have faded to pink and grey, much in the way my political beliefs have mellowed over the past decade and a half.
Still, while it may make my body some kind of roadmap of my past politics, it's also a reminder of a wilder and less burdened time in my life — and that (rather than the tattoo itself) is kind of cool.
The earrings have long since come out of both my ears, healed to pinpricks.
But my tattoo is still there, to remind me of the tumbledown house in North Carolina where I lived for three happy years in my twenties with a bunch of fellow graduate students, drinking and arguing the nights away and clubbing together our meagre funds to buy each other Christmas presents like my star.
There are plenty of tattoos you can regret, especially if you're drunk when you get them done, and from a “scratcher” unprofessional enough to ink someone who's out of it.
In such a state, one friend of a friend from my home town of Exeter thought it would be a fine idea to make permanent his love of Exeter City FC and hatred of local rivals Plymouth: his lower back presumably still bears the words “Plymouth Argyle are” plus an arrow pointing down between the cheeks of his buttocks.
Likewise the nephew of a colleague who got a facsimile of one of his mates' genitals inked on himself during a drunken gap-year outing now probably regrets it.
Any tattoo which you can't choose when to display — Ms Vlaminck's face again — will eventually give you grief.
And one sheepish former white supremacist had to get a racist symbol on his shoulder transformed into a large bunch of flowers: I know because the guy that tattooed me did that one, proudly showing me before-and-after photos to prove his skill.
But tattooing has a much more serious tradition than drunken student whims (and no, I was stone cold sober).
Tattoos originated among the Maori and other Pacific peoples first encountered by British sailors in the late 18th century, which may account for their enduring popularity among Anglo-Saxons.
It is estimated that up to 20 per cent of British adults have at least one.
And the perennial hipness of tattoos in recent years (OK, so they were big in the grunge-metal years when I got mine) has restored their cross-class appeal.
When my father was in the Army in the 1950s, only the non-commissioned ranks had the traditional hearts and roses on their biceps, but tattoos enjoyed fashionability among the aristocracy in the late 19th century.
Mine isn't art. It isn't even political now, not with my kids climbing over me first thing in the morning and pointing at “Daddy's star”. It's more a reminder of who I once was.
No regrets: if you can live with your tattoos, even if you've moved on from the passions that prompted them, then you can live with yourself.
Reader views (7)
I have always admired tattoos and a few years ago and since the mid 1990s I've got quite a few all on my upper body and arms. Totally covered up for work otherwise I just love them.
- Miss M Elliston, London England, 26/08/2009 16:11
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I think Andrew Neather is looking for an escape. I agree with Gary only vain people need draw all over themselves with blue ink
- Mazzy, london, 20/06/2009 19:00
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Elaine, Southampton, UK
All I stated was my opinions based on my experiences and to be honest my comments were directed more to the males than the females; in my eyes females with tats are just Chav, no offence and as I stated I honestly try to never prejudge anyone.
I attend a very expensive gym and the attitude of the tats is really shown at its best as they vainly look at themselves in the mirrors. Real men without tats just get on with it. The tats are posers. In the streets if you see a drunken gang with devil dogs make note they will mostly have tats.
It should be illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to self abuse and get themselves vandalised as I said get a Temporary tattoo if you think the naked human body is too ugly for you.
I hope all people enjoy the tats and have no regrets, I find the best way of avoiding regrets is to avoid self abuse. I personally doubt you will convert people that find them ugly as they are more free thinking and do not need to hide behind man made creations to express themselves.
- Gary, brentwood, 18/06/2009 17:26
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Neither am I vain or unhappy with the way I look. Further never have I had an inclination to pump weights or become a thug. I do however, have an open mind, an appreciation of art in all forms..oh and yes two pieces of body art. Gary just how extensive is your experience?
- Elaine, Southampton, UK, 18/06/2009 16:49
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I saw a young woman yesterday who'd obviously put on a lot of weight since she'd been tattooed. The tattoo revealed by her crop top was stretched to breaking point.
- Wilhemina James, Tunbridge Wells, Kent, 18/06/2009 13:13
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I am proud of mine, each have a special meaning and cane be covered if the time to show is not the right time
- Amanda, London, 18/06/2009 12:47
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Shame people can not enjoy the body god gave us rather than seeking to vandalise it. Tats are very marmite and closely associated with thugs. I try to never judge any person on looks alone but tats certainly place my guard half up. In my experience most of the people with tats are just vain, the same of person pumping weights and undertaking plastic surgery, who will never be happy with the way they look
If you must vandalise yourself I suggest a Temporary tattoo rather than cutting yourself open.
Quote "..Tattoos originated among the Maori.." But they never had clothes to express their individualism now did they?
- Gary, brentwood, 18/06/2009 10:36
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